What’s on your mind?

[The Clark]

Ghosted by a girl I was getting along great with. Long messages, emoji's, open and vulnerable with one another, several dates, then just like that.. gone. I get it. Ghosting is easier than explaining things, but I will just never understand what happened and that frustrates me.

Anyway, life is otherwise good on my end and I hope you're all doing well here! Special hello to @Apple fanboy, @Scepticalscribe and @rm5 (You too @goldmac2006)

👍🏻

 

[Scepticalscribe]

Ghosted by a girl I was getting along great with. Long messages, emoji's, open and vulnerable with one another, several dates, then just like that.. gone. I get it. Ghosting is easier than explaining things, but I will just never understand what happened and that frustrates me.

Ghosting - and I am not defending the practice, it is discourteous and disrespectful and it can be very upsetting to be on the receiving end of such behaviour - tends to facilitated by - and made a lot easier - by the ubiquity of social media.

However, ghosting also tends to come about when someone (most usually a woman) doesn't want the potentially emotionally draining stuff of having to explain (and, also, as part of the explanation, to justify) just why she may be of the opinion that a relationship is not working; some men have difficulty accepting the word "no", or a "not interested", or a "no longer interested" message from a woman, and some men can be incredibly persistent in not wanting to hear this message, or in refusing to accept it, and in refusing to accept boundaries set by a woman.

More to the point, ghosting also serves to ensure that any such unwelcome news is not met with aggression, insults, violence or whinging.

Anyway, life is otherwise good on my end and I hope you're all doing well here! Special hello to @Apple fanboy, @Scepticalscribe and @rm5 (You too @goldmac2006)

👍🏻

Thank you.

My brother and I were both a bit upset today, thinking about our deceased former neighbour, with whom we grew up.

 

[Apple fanboy]

Ghosted by a girl I was getting along great with. Long messages, emoji's, open and vulnerable with one another, several dates, then just like that.. gone. I get it. Ghosting is easier than explaining things, but I will just never understand what happened and that frustrates me.

Anyway, life is otherwise good on my end and I hope you're all doing well here! Special hello to @Apple fanboy, @Scepticalscribe and @rm5 (You too @goldmac2006)

👍🏻

I’m so glad my dating days started and ended well before the current trend of social media, Apps and texting.

Hope you find the one.

 

[The Clark]

Ghosting - and I am not defending the practice, it is discourteous and disrespectful and it can be very upsetting to be on the receiving end of such behaviour - tends to facilitated by - and made a lot easier - by the ubiquity of social media.

However, ghosting also tends to come about when someone (most usually a woman) doesn't want the potentially emotionally draining stuff of having to explain (and, also, as part of the explanation, to justify) just why she may be of the opinion that a relationship is not working; some men have difficulty accepting the word "no", or a "not interested", or "no longer interested" from a woman, and some men can be incredibly persistent in not wanting to hear this message, or in refusing to accept it, and refusing to accept boundaries set by a woman.

More to the point, ghosting also serves to ensure that any such unwelcome news is not met with aggression, insults, or violence or whinging.

Thank you.

My brother and I were both a bit upset today, thinking about our deceased former neighbour, with whom we grew up.

Yeah, I get it, that’s about what I expected. Still, it’s frustrating because that’s not how I handle things. I try to be upfront and respectful (can’t help how I was raised 🤷), so if something wasn’t working, I would’ve wanted the chance to know. At least then I could try to fix it or just understand before things ended. But it’s really not the end of the world—at this point I just wish her the best and move on.

I’m so sorry to hear about your neighbor’s passing. That is such a difficult loss, and even when you know someone has been ill, it never truly makes it easier. Do they have family you can connect with and share stories about them? When my best friend passed away, one of the greatest comforts was hearing others speak about the positive memories they had of him. I hope you and your brother are able to take care of yourselves and give yourselves permission to move through this one step at a time. Grief is never easy to navigate, but being gentle with yourself can make a difference.

 

[goldmac2006]

Ghosted by a girl I was getting along great with. Long messages, emoji's, open and vulnerable with one another, several dates, then just like that.. gone. I get it. Ghosting is easier than explaining things, but I will just never understand what happened and that frustrates me.

Anyway, life is otherwise good on my end and I hope you're all doing well here! Special hello to @Apple fanboy, @Scepticalscribe and @rm5 (You too @goldmac2006)

👍🏻

Thank you 🙏.

Back on it. Been on a hiatus on this thread as I finished L’Space MCA, now it’s in the books 📚. My department’s final presentation went well; one of the ladies that led my role meetings I attended every Monday- she’s one of our panellists and congratulated us on our hard work.

I hope I can get promoted to their LEAP internship programme- that is a student work opportunity where you can help with the new students that come into MCA and I can also supervise/manage multiple teams in there. That gives me a monetary bonus if I get selected- and complete it.

After the last meeting, treated myself to some nice food at a Hawaiian restaurant joint and hung out at the Apple Store.

 

[The Clark]

I’m so glad my dating days started and ended well before the current trend of social media, Apps and texting.

Hope you find the one.

Haha yeah, I’ve actually ditched dating apps altogether and find the in person approach much more rewarding and exciting. That said, modern dating can feel pretty rough. So many people have FOMO, women often deal with mistreatment which keeps their guard up, and ghosting has almost become expected even when things seem to be going really well. On top of that, it feels nearly impossible to meet someone who sees sex as more than just a recreational way to feel good. Still, I keep myself grounded—I have a full, fulfilling life and stay busy on purpose so that my happiness doesn’t depend on anyone else. The right one will come along eventually I believe Hope you and Mrs AFB are doing well

 

[Apple fanboy]

Haha yeah, I’ve actually ditched dating apps altogether and find the in person approach much more rewarding and exciting. That said, modern dating can feel pretty rough. So many people have FOMO, women often deal with mistreatment which keeps their guard up, and ghosting has almost become expected even when things seem to be going really well. On top of that, it feels nearly impossible to meet someone who sees sex as more than just a recreational way to feel good. Still, I keep myself grounded—I have a full, fulfilling life and stay busy on purpose so that my happiness doesn’t depend on anyone else. The right one will come along eventually I believe Hope you and Mrs AFB are doing well

Yeah all good here. Just finished a week off work. Did three days hiking in the Lake District. Not with Mrs AFB though. Her idea of hell.

5 days work then off for another 5. Going to be a busy week!

 

[The Clark]

Yeah all good here. Just finished a week off work. Did three days hiking in the Lake District. Not with Mrs AFB though. Her idea of hell.

5 days work then off for another 5. Going to be a busy week!

All in office days? Or do you get some flexibility?

 

[WriteNow]

Agreed.

Only the young could come out with such a phrase.......

In my experience, @rm5, not only is it not the case that "the last few weeks of vacation always go really slow", but, in fact, time actually seems to accelerate, and they fly by.

Well, I can say when I was young (sometime last century...), I never felt like the end of vacation dragged... As Mrs. Slocombe might say: "And I am unanimous in that." I think the only part of vacation that might have had days that were boring would have been in the middle, once the novelty of vacation had worn off and the ugly reality of school starting was far off.

But, being fair, I can, I guess, imagine a student feeling like vacation at the end goes slowly. It probably would help if they are looking forward to school again. They might have long since done all the fun vacation things they want to do. And for many college students, summer vacation isn't vacation, but a time for working full time so they can minimize the amount of college debt they accrue. And the jobs they have might have nothing to offer but a paycheck.

In fact, my father, who taught at the college level, told me towards the end of his life that he'd seen a decline with the summer class offerings. And a reason, he thought, was because more and more students had needed to work in summer to get a few bucks.

 

[Apple fanboy]

All in office days? Or do you get some flexibility?

I work one day in the office. Four at home. Usually a Monday to get it out of the way.
My least productive day of the week. I much prefer my home office for getting stuff done.

 

[WriteNow]

The thing about teaching that nobody seems to realise is that the actual classroom time is only a part of it; preparing (researching) classes also took up a lot of time

Moreover, when I was a teacher, whole weeks would be taken up with grading assignments, essays, term papers, and further whole weeks would be taken up with returning the graded papers to the students

Indeed. I think, unfortunately, a lot of people think of how "easy" teaching is. "Only 7 hours a day--and you get long vacations!" They don't realize that this is only the start...

My parents both taught, so I saw the realities--particularly with my father, who was in a field where he had to keep up with current research. My mother had stories to tell about her approach for only lightly grading many writing assignments, just because of time/sanity. And when she did long term sub job, I helped her behind the scenes--everything from word processing assignments to helping with the grading (with assignments that could be graded by anyone, because the answers were clear right/wrong. She always did the ones that involved nuance). I admittedly was not personally used to this, so that made a difference, but it was still astounding how much time grading could take.

Another thing with public school teachers: they might need to take classes themselves in summer to keep their certifications.

 

[The Clark]

I work one day in the office. Four at home. Usually a Monday to get it out of the way.
My least productive day of the week. I much prefer my home office for getting stuff done.

Which is interesting because the corporate overlords would have you believe that productivity is impoossible while working from home. Apparently we're all doing yoga or going on walmart runs? Interesting theory but none of my tickets would get closed if that were true.

 

[Apple fanboy]

Which is interesting because the corporate overlords would have you believe that productivity is impoossible while working from home. Apparently we're all doing yoga or going on walmart runs? Interesting theory but none of my tickets would get closed if that were true.

Indeed. When in the office I get a lot more interruptions. Also the home office is just quieter. For some people I get the home office can be full of distractions. But not for me.

 

[WriteNow]

When in the office I get a lot more interruptions.

The college where my father taught at had a space crisis at times, and they'd stick some offices in obscure locations. One professor my mother was acquainted with commented how she loved her office located well off the beaten path because there were fewer distractions.

 

[WriteNow]

Which is interesting because the corporate overlords would have you believe that productivity is impoossible while working from home.

I remember commenting to someone a few years ago that work from home might become standardized for some positions. It seemed (to me) there were advantages for a company not having to have/maintain so much office space. But the person I was talking to thought no, because she felt too many mangers like having people in the office, where they can crack the whip conveniently.

 

[Apple fanboy]

The college where my father taught at had a space crisis at times, and they'd stick some offices in obscure locations. One professor my mother was acquainted with commented how she loved her office located well off the beaten path because there were fewer distractions.

We have an open office. It’s unpleasant. Most people just sit with headphones on all day. Especially if one or two very loud individuals are in.
I’m just grateful I don’t have to endure it more than once a week. I have 4 meetings tomorrow anyway, so will spend most of my day away from my desk.

 

[Apple fanboy]

I remember commenting to someone a few years ago that work from home might become standardized for some positions. It seemed (to me) there were advantages for a company not having to have/maintain so much office space. But the person I was talking to thought no, because she felt too many mangers like having people in the office, where they can crack the whip conveniently.

I have suggested ditching the office in the past to save money. It’s not a managers thing as most peoples manager is either in a separate office where they have no idea what their team are doing any more than when they WFH. Especially as a lot of the teams line manager isn’t even in the same country.

 

[The Clark]

I work for the Canadian government as a cybersecurity analyst, and my role is fully remote. The BC government has even stopped renewing leases on certain buildings, saving millions that can be redirected to better use of taxpayer dollars. To me, that’s a smart move. I honestly can’t wrap my head around the RTO trend happening in the U.S; it just doesn’t make sense.

 

[rm5]

Special hello to @Apple fanboy, @Scepticalscribe and @rm5 (You too @goldmac2006)

HI there! Good to see you here again.

Ghosted by a girl I was getting along great with. Long messages, emoji's, open and vulnerable with one another, several dates, then just like that.. gone. I get it. Ghosting is easier than explaining things, but I will just never understand what happened and that frustrates me.

That sucks, I'm sorry. Though, I've never been in a relationship, and currently no plans to ever do that.

It probably would help if they are looking forward to school again.

Absolutely. Even in elementary school, I looked forward to the start of the year. Over my lifetime, that was probably the time I was at my lowest. I had to miss a LOT for a variety of health issues. And all that stuff always made me pretty scared. I also couldn't read any, so I was far behind most others. All the reasons to not want to go back to school. But I always had hope that it would be a better year than the previous.

This year especially, in college, we have a bunch of new really talented Conservatory students who I'm really excited to meet. Last year we didn't get that many (my class who came in two years ago has a big Conservatory population--maybe it's a pattern, idk). And a lot of regular folks in the College who I look forward to meeting, too. And to get back into big band, the experimental improvisation ensemble, and classical and jazz chamber groups. No choir for me this year though. Unfortunately with all my other ensembles, I don't have time for 4x a week choir rehearsals.

As an aside, I'm only three courses away from completing the Government major. I've done this completely on accident, but I just looked at the course catalog, and sure enough, I've only got three more to go. While it likely won't be recognized as an official music/government double-major, I will almost certainly be able to complete all the major requirements.

They might have long since done all the fun vacation things they want to do.

The thing is, the fun vacation things get old after a while. I enjoy performing a lot, don't get me wrong, but playing the same music at the same venues with the same people gets old, even just over a summer break. It's hard to branch out any in my hometown because that'd involve playing in a band full-time, which would require me to live here year-round (I don't--college is 1500 miles away).

Indeed. I think, unfortunately, a lot of people think of how "easy" teaching is. "Only 7 hours a day--and you get long vacations!" They don't realize that this is only the start...

My dad has been teaching at the same school for almost 30 years. He loves it. Of course there are mundane aspects, but there are of any job. Mom was a teacher in the early '90s but absolutely hated it, and then moved into administration/program support. Which is stressful in its own right. She works at a huge public school with over 2500 students, and I just cannot imagine doing that, it must be INSANELY stressful (but at least gets paid a really good salary as far as I'm aware).

 

[The Clark]

...I've never been in a relationship, and currently no plans to ever do that.

Wise choice!

 

[The Clark]

My dad has been teaching at the same school for almost 30 years. He loves it. Of course there are mundane aspects, but there are of any job. Mom was a teacher in the early '90s but absolutely hated it, and then moved into administration/program support. Which is stressful in its own right. She works at a huge public school with over 2500 students, and I just cannot imagine doing that, it must be INSANELY stressful (but at least gets paid a really good salary as far as I'm aware).

I honestly think teachers—especially elementary school teachers—are really underrated. They don’t just teach kids how to read, write, and do math; they’re laying down the foundation for life skills we use every single day. Things like problem solving, communicating clearly, working with others, even building confidence all start in those early classrooms.

If a child struggles in elementary school, it can carry on for years (as was the case with myself). Falling behind in basics like reading or math can make school harder later on, and even show up in real life when it comes to things like managing money or handling daily responsibilities. That’s why the work these teachers do is way more important than people usually give them credit for.

IMO elementary teachers don’t just teach—they shape how we interact with the world. And yet they’re still underpaid and overlooked, which is kind of crazy when you think about how much of our future depends on them.

Edit: apologies for all the emdashes, no I'm not using AI I just recently found out how to use them on Mac (Shift + option + -) so I'm flexing!

 

[JackAHyde]

I discovered something mildly interesting about ChatGPT for anybody who used to play Borderlands around 15 years ago like I did.

Come up with any utterly mundane or ordinary task (taking out the trash, checking the mailbox, walking the dog, etc.) and ask ChatGPT to turn that into a rambling, annoying NPC dialogue in the style of a Borderlands mission. The result is a little too accurate. I could see any of the results it gave me actually coming from characters in the game.