The talk about holidays above has me thinking once again that we are heading into yet another holiday season. This was a difficult time of year for me. I'm pretty isolated. And I find myself often haunted by memories of the past.
At one time I tried to get out and do various events in December that were open to anyone who staggered in.
This has pretty much fallen by the wayside since 2020. In 2020, everything was canceled. It took years for some events to come back at all, and I found that I just don't have the enthusiasm anymore.
In 2020, I dreaded having to spend the holiday season completely and totally alone. Surprisingly though, it turned out not to be that bad.
Perhaps it was partly the knowledge that a lot of people were suddenly isolated and experiencing the same thing that had been my experience for years.
But I also wonder if forcing myself in previous years to do various events didn't make the situation worse for me. Perhaps forcing myself to engage in holiday season made me realize deep down how isolated I was and reminded me too much of the loss of an era when holiday season mattered.