what was the reason for him commeting sucide
In both cases, my brother and my best friend committed suicide over impending divorces.
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What's the worst thing thats happened to you? and who or what helped?
- Thread starter OzExige
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In both cases, my brother and my best friend committed suicide over impending divorces.
A terrible tragedy but at 12 years old (at the time) I don't think you should hold yourself responsible.
I think if another 12 year old was blaming themselves for this, you would tell them. "Forgive yourself".
Good luck.
I'm only 15 and there are things here that hopefully I will never go through...
But the worse thing that has happened to me so far in my life is moving back to Korea. I had so many friends back in California and now that I left, I look back and see all the things that my friends are going through. I feel really bad that I'm not there to help them out or be there if something awesome happens. It really doesn't help that I don't really fit in at my "foreign" school of only 50 high schoolers, everyone here pretty much very "Koreanized" and there are few people here that embrace western culture. It also does not help that I came from a Californian high school with about 1,800 kids to a small Pre-12 school with only 50 high schoolers.
I say that being with "Americanized/Westernized" friends in this small foreign school helps and being in contact with my friends back home through AIM really helps yet sometimes it brings in a strong surge of guilt/homesickness that I'm not there for them.
But daaaaammmmn, the things I heard so far, I truly feel sorry for anyone who has to live through and with that. Good luck.
KJ
But the worse thing that has happened to me so far in my life is moving back to Korea. I had so many friends back in California and now that I left, I look back and see all the things that my friends are going through. I feel really bad that I'm not there to help them out or be there if something awesome happens. It really doesn't help that I don't really fit in at my "foreign" school of only 50 high schoolers, everyone here pretty much very "Koreanized" and there are few people here that embrace western culture. It also does not help that I came from a Californian high school with about 1,800 kids to a small Pre-12 school with only 50 high schoolers.
I say that being with "Americanized/Westernized" friends in this small foreign school helps and being in contact with my friends back home through AIM really helps yet sometimes it brings in a strong surge of guilt/homesickness that I'm not there for them.
But daaaaammmmn, the things I heard so far, I truly feel sorry for anyone who has to live through and with that. Good luck.
KJ
Nothing too horrible has happened to me, knock on wood. I mean, I've had some hardships, seizures (luckly I 'grew' out of them), broke some bones (elbow and collarbone) lost family members (RIP Grampa, Uncle, and "Uncle") but I lived through them and grow on them. Its sad to lose a loved one but it means tons that they've touched my heart in ways that only they could. Its sad that they left so early but as my grampa used to say "you only live once and you have to make the best of it" he wouldn't want us to sulk, or mourn. There was a pretty bad accident involving a 11yr old and a lawn mower but the my nephew is alive and thats really all we can ask for. And hes such a goof. Hes the one who has helped us all though the whole ordeal, hes accepted what happened to him and its just awesome.
I wish I hadnt read this thread.
Ditto.
Award to most depressing thread goes to....
I've been pretty lucky for majority of my life. No loved ones lost, besides my first dog. When I was born, I had major lung problems and was unable to breath on my own. Doctors told my parents my odds of living were extremely low and they might want to start making arrangements. I was baptized and given my last rights by a priest. Had a nine tube inserted into my chest and ended up living somehow. Took me 3 months to get out of the hospital. The tubes left some crazy scars but who cares.
Mom was shot in the back of her head by her boyfriend, She survived the bullet at point blank range & shot him twice with the same gun when he came back into the room - he died. She forgave him, I never will.
I am also being sued by my aunt for not finishing a genaeology dvd project that she tried to stiff me for over 30K in photo restoration work in my dead grandmother's name.
Grandma died 4 months into the project, & My Aunt the trustee, shredded the contracts & all Grandma's notes. 2 1/2 years of hard work down the crapper.
Out of the 50,000 agreed to total for restoration work, & multimedia contracts, I have been paid 11,000, & I have given most of that back to my lawyer for the countersuit.
I play Guitar to forget about it....
I am also being sued by my aunt for not finishing a genaeology dvd project that she tried to stiff me for over 30K in photo restoration work in my dead grandmother's name.
Grandma died 4 months into the project, & My Aunt the trustee, shredded the contracts & all Grandma's notes. 2 1/2 years of hard work down the crapper.
Out of the 50,000 agreed to total for restoration work, & multimedia contracts, I have been paid 11,000, & I have given most of that back to my lawyer for the countersuit.
I play Guitar to forget about it....
This reminds me of NPR's 'This I Do Believe' but without the happy ending. I guess the good news is that you all lived to talk about it.
I have been very lucky in my 50 years. I tell my mom that she lucked out. She had 6 kids and all of us are still alive, we all have our own homes and none of us has been in jail. She's 80 this year.
My younger sisters are very emotional. I can't be around them for too long because they give me headaches. I love them and their kids but I can only stand to see them once a year. They always wanted marriage and kids but all they ever do is complain and fight. Nothing serious, we are all just too loud and crazy. At home and 900 miles away I appreciate them more. My only brother is just 15 miles away from me and when he visits the family all he wants to do is spank our spoiled nieces (princess' every one of them). The thing is I spoil my pets so if they were children I would probably have little monsters myself.
Compared to the rest of the stories, my bad experience is nothing. I was robbed a couple (5) years ago. Bunch of kids broke in while I was at work and robbed my house. The good news is they didn't hurt my dog who knew them. They were neighborhood kids from 14-16 and a 21 year old who took the stuff to the Pawn shop. I knew all of them. I got back most of my things as Pawn shops have to hold on to DVDs a number of days before they can sell them and the other stuff was in their rooms. They tried to take a computer but it was too heavy but damaged some wires pulling on them, dumb kids don't know how to remove wires. The DVDs were easy and a few watches (all of them needed batteries) and few toys (I collect Star Trek ships). Kids, you can't live with them and you can't kill them.
Being robbed is not a good feeling. Some people never feel safe again but it could have been like what happened down the street the previous year. They were robbed and had their house set on fire for good measure. They fixed the damage then moved away. No, I do not live in a bad neighborhood. Summertime in the south has it's hazards.
I have been very lucky in my 50 years. I tell my mom that she lucked out. She had 6 kids and all of us are still alive, we all have our own homes and none of us has been in jail
. She's 80 this year.My younger sisters are very emotional. I can't be around them for too long because they give me headaches. I love them and their kids but I can only stand to see them once a year. They always wanted marriage and kids but all they ever do is complain and fight. Nothing serious, we are all just too loud and crazy. At home and 900 miles away I appreciate them more. My only brother is just 15 miles away from me and when he visits the family all he wants to do is spank our spoiled nieces (princess' every one of them). The thing is I spoil my pets so if they were children I would probably have little monsters myself.
Compared to the rest of the stories, my bad experience is nothing. I was robbed a couple (5) years ago. Bunch of kids broke in while I was at work and robbed my house. The good news is they didn't hurt my dog who knew them. They were neighborhood kids from 14-16 and a 21 year old who took the stuff to the Pawn shop. I knew all of them. I got back most of my things as Pawn shops have to hold on to DVDs a number of days before they can sell them and the other stuff was in their rooms. They tried to take a computer but it was too heavy but damaged some wires pulling on them, dumb kids don't know how to remove wires. The DVDs were easy and a few watches (all of them needed batteries) and few toys (I collect Star Trek ships). Kids, you can't live with them and you can't kill them.
Being robbed is not a good feeling. Some people never feel safe again but it could have been like what happened down the street the previous year. They were robbed and had their house set on fire for good measure. They fixed the damage then moved away. No, I do not live in a bad neighborhood. Summertime in the south has it's hazards.
J
jmadlena
Guest
I feel truly humbled by the strength of the members here. Sometimes it is so easy to see posters as merely text on a screen, and not people. This adds so much depth to my view of this forum, and I thank all of those that have told us their stories. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Humbly,
Jaryd
Humbly,
Jaryd
1. Being robbed by two people jumping out of a van at me after leaving an atm.
2. Narrowly missing being hit by a semi going 90 mph (by literally seconds) after a coyote ran in front of my car and caused me to loose control...and my car sliding completely across the opposite side of the interstate.
How did I deal?
For #1: I pretended it never happened and completely removed it from myself, emotionally.
For #2: I checked for damage (picked up a few pieces of broken bumper), got back in my car, drove myself up and out of the ditch, drove for 3 miles to get to an exit so I could get back onto the other side of traffic...then continued on my way. It was another case of me blocking emotion. I was motivated because I was driving to see my aunt, who was on her death bed and wanted to see her/talk with her before she died.
2. Narrowly missing being hit by a semi going 90 mph (by literally seconds) after a coyote ran in front of my car and caused me to loose control...and my car sliding completely across the opposite side of the interstate.
How did I deal?
For #1: I pretended it never happened and completely removed it from myself, emotionally.
For #2: I checked for damage (picked up a few pieces of broken bumper), got back in my car, drove myself up and out of the ditch, drove for 3 miles to get to an exit so I could get back onto the other side of traffic...then continued on my way. It was another case of me blocking emotion. I was motivated because I was driving to see my aunt, who was on her death bed and wanted to see her/talk with her before she died.
BigPrince said:
Agreed. The worst thing that's happened in my life is my sister split from her long-term partner over 12 months ago. He didn't take it well and they have two children together and it was very messy. I've lived a pretty sheltered life and been very lucky- a fact this thread has made quite well- but it was still a very testing time for us. It was a major upheaval and my eldest nephew- 10 years this month- saw some altercations kids should be protected from.
Happily my sister has married now (to one of my best friends- didn't see THAT one coming
) but I'm delighted- he's one of the gentlest people on the planet and their first kid is due in the next 4 or 5 weeks or so.
I know, there probably wasn't anything I could've done, but I can't help but feel guilty, I'm over the initial shock, but it's going to take a long time to heal completely.
Reading some of these stories, makes me realize that even though what happened to me was pretty bad, it could have been much much worse.
I feel for all of you.
My girlfriend was sexually assaulted & murdered by one of her co-workers who had apparently been stalking her for months.
That was Mother's Day 10 years ago. Anniversary is in 5 days. Always makes me moody for pretty much the whole month of May.
To cope, I started a band with a mutual friend of she and I, and we wrote/recorded/performed a sizable library of music over the past decade.
Oh, a close second on "worst thing that happened" was being subpoenaed to testify when her murderer went to trial. I was subpoenaed by THE DEFENSE. Fortunately they never actually called me into the courtroom that day. Not sure how I would've handled that.
That was Mother's Day 10 years ago. Anniversary is in 5 days. Always makes me moody for pretty much the whole month of May.
To cope, I started a band with a mutual friend of she and I, and we wrote/recorded/performed a sizable library of music over the past decade.
Oh, a close second on "worst thing that happened" was being subpoenaed to testify when her murderer went to trial. I was subpoenaed by THE DEFENSE. Fortunately they never actually called me into the courtroom that day. Not sure how I would've handled that.
Yea, there's a lot of amazing people here. I really don't know what to say to people who have real problems like this but my thoughts are with everyone. As another member said it really puts things into perspective.
Another worst for me, though it was more shocking than anything else - Finding out my grandfather wasn't blood related, that my real grandfather died from problems caused by WW2 years later. I'm more saddened that I never met him. And that his father had done something terrible about it too.
My mother died from cancer when I was 18. My father still worked at that time, and was often away. Bad as it was, I lost almost all of my "friends" at that time, because everybody from school was doing different things, and me being rather depressed was not fun company around I guess. So I was sitting alone at home for some months until I started my graphic design college. I started smoking at that time, my mother died from lung cancer without ever smoking a single cigarette, so I thought screw it with my 18 years. It took me years to get over it, and it all came up again when...
...my girlfriends mother died from cancer 2 years ago. She suffered and somehow still suffers very bad from this. Also because her father died 2 years before her mother, also from cancer, at this time we didn't know each other though. As much as the loss of my mother troubled me, I can only imagine how much it must suck to loose both parents within 2 years. At least I still have my father and get along very good with him. He also likes my girlfriend, and she him too. He has to play both our parents roles now sometimes.
...my girlfriends mother died from cancer 2 years ago. She suffered and somehow still suffers very bad from this. Also because her father died 2 years before her mother, also from cancer, at this time we didn't know each other though. As much as the loss of my mother troubled me, I can only imagine how much it must suck to loose both parents within 2 years. At least I still have my father and get along very good with him. He also likes my girlfriend, and she him too. He has to play both our parents roles now sometimes.
Wow, there are some amazing people here. The worst thing that has happened to me hasn't actually been an event but I have been quite suicidal before. But then again I believe everyone has been suicidal in their life. And last year (I'm 16) my best mate was put in hospital, he had anorexia. I found that quite hard. Stopped doing school work completely and couldn't stop thinking about him. He's all good now. So am i.
You said it.
I just want to say that everyone who's suffering a very bad time please try to remember that there are friends.... maybe here just online MR-posters, but still... we are friends.
I find it brave to post such personal hardship.
Some staggering stories in this thread, it's kind of mind-blowing to read what people have been through in their lives. And it's even more amazing that they come through those experiences - damaged, of course, but they're still getting on with their lives and rebuilding as best they can. The human spirit is a truly extraordinary thing.
A few years back one of my best friends did a terrible thing. I won't go into specifics but it was bad. He had a major drinking problem and I always bugged him about it -- he always denied it. After all that bad stuff, I guess he realized he had a problem and started going to AA meetings. A few months later, he was too drunk to drive (yeah, apparently hadn't stopped drinking), so his friend drove him home. His friend fell asleep at the wheel and crashed into a tree, killing my friend. I had a lot of guilt; guilt that I never forgave him, guilt that I couldn't have helped him with his alcoholism sooner, etc. The wake was awful, the funeral worse. For weeks, I'd drive down the road and think I saw him standing places. It was a hard summer...
