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When it comes to STDs, how paranoid is too paranoid?

Ntombi said:
I don't know of any comprehensive sex ed curriculum where abstinence isn't featured, but it is true that abstinence-only programs are leading to a generation of young adults who are ignorant about how to protect themselves, or even about basic biology.

And the kicker is that the vast majority of those who want abstinence only taught to their children are also the ones who are not giving any information at home (other than "don't"). That is making things worse. The amount of misinformation out there is astounding. :( And dangerous.
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Abstinence was not pushed upon us when I went through sex ed, it'd probably be laughed out by the class if it was.
 
Mord said:
Abstinence was not pushed upon us when I went through sex ed, it'd probably be laughed out by the class if it was.
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I guess it depends on how you define it.

All of the sex-ed I've ever taken and taught (I did some volunteer work in the field for a while) made it EXTREMELY clear that abstinence was not just the only 100% safe option, but also a very valid choice for every individual for as long as they decided.

But I wouldn't want anything "pushed" on me. That's the point of choice and control over my own body and sexuality. ;)
 
Abstinence makes the Heart Grow Fonder, as they say..

It's not possible to be too paranoid about STDs. STDs kill and in the meantime they change your life forever.

If you're not comfortable talking about STDs with her, you're not ready to be that involved with her.
 
Ntombi said:
I don't know of any comprehensive sex ed curriculum where abstinence isn't featured, but it is true that abstinence-only programs are leading to a generation of young adults who are ignorant about how to protect themselves, or even about basic biology.

And the kicker is that the vast majority of those who want abstinence only taught to their children are also the ones who are not giving any information at home (other than "don't"). That is making things worse. The amount of misinformation out there is astounding. :( And dangerous.
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At heart, I believe ideas such as absinence, pro-life, and communism are basically good ideas. In practice, they probably can't be done.

Abstinence, if practiced, will greatly reduce STD and teen pregnancy. But if taught, will ironically lead to mass teen pregnancy because kids won't know about condoms and their proper usage. Like when exiting, hang onto the darn thing. I made that mistake once, but lucked out. :)

BTW, Hugh Grant and the movie Nine Months. I watched the movie knowing that could have been me.
 
63dot said:
Abstinence, if practiced, will greatly reduce STD and teen pregnancy. But if taught, will ironically lead to mass teen pregnancy because kids won't know about condoms and their proper usage. Like when exiting, hang onto the darn thing. I made that mistake once, but lucked out. :)
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You're ignoring the downside that the kids will miss out on a ton of sex, I for one am very glad that I have a very active sex live, I find I'm a far happier person for it.
 
Just ask her about her STD status already. If she is as "non-innocent" as you suggest, there's a decent chance she gets tested regularly of her own volition. You may be making something out of nothing.:cool:
 
I would say talk to her. Don't talk down to her like the tramp that you think she probably is, but act like it's kind of a normal conversation. If this is a legit serious relationship, talk about getting tested TOGETHER! If you're still in college/university and there's a health clinic, they most likely do STI/HIV screenings.
 
melrose said:
It's not possible to be too paranoid about STDs. Some STDs can kill and in the meantime they change your life forever.
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Fixed that for you.

I agree that you should be able to talk to her about it, or you should not be having sex. To be a little contrary, though, STI clinics aren't all that great.

Someone posted (correctly) that 50% of sexually active adults in the U.S. will contract some form of HPV. So chances are one or both of you have already had it, may still have it, and haven't ever noticed. There isn't a good, regularly used test for HPV. Most strains cause no harm, and the strains that do cause harm are difficult (impossible in many cases) to detect in advance of their causing symptoms. So have sex, and don't worry about it, beyond healthy precaution.

Herpes, too. Many people get it and show no symptoms. A high percentage of people will carry one of the herpes virsues. HSV-1 can infect the genitals, HSV-2 can infect the mouth, so just because you've had cold sores doesn't mean you cannot transmit to genitals.

Use precaution, talk to the people you sleep with, and you will be fine. Get tested to the nasty stuff (HIV, chlamydia, etc), and make sure she does as well.
 
Fixed that for you.
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rantonoff.gif


I've noticed this before, by others, in other threads.

This practice has to stop. It is no longer a quote.

rantonoff.gif


IMHO.
 
A question to Cave Man

Cave Man said:
It's sort of an incomplete term. "STI" is favored because the clinical spectrum of infection can be silent (e.g., HIV, cervical dysplasia with HPV, etc.), yet the individual can still be shedding the infectious agent. Using "STD" suggests that pathology is alway conspicuous, when in many of these infections it is not (and why its use in public health has become antiquated). By the time the "disease" is discovered it's often too late. Indeed, these agents have evolved a number of evasion strategies to circumvent immune responses, which are often the cause of symptoms (e.g., fever) in the first place. Nonetheless, pathology is occurring even though symptomology is absent. As Yoda would say, "Insidious bugs, they are."
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Hi Cave Man, I googled this forum because I am looking for a clinic in Düsseldorf where I can get checked for STIs. I am a Canadian and my German is terrible. Any info is appreciated!
Alex
 
foidulus said:
Not really sure of her sexual history, but considering how we met, shes certainly not innocent....
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Oh, please do tell....

But anyways, I don't really think you can be TOO paranoid about something like this. The easiest thing to do would be to just use a condom. Since you don't want to take any chances the only other option is to have a talk. If a boy asked me to go get tested, I would feel slightly insulted and not immediately be like "Yay, lets go get tested together!", but maybe that's just me being immature, (I'm 17.) But if she does get defensive, it doesn't mean she has something to hide. In my opinion, I think a condom should do....
 
I thought a girl was hiding an STI; insisted on a condom, hesitated to have sex. Turns out she was 100% clean but had elected to have an abortion a year previous. She said she just couldn't handle another abortion.
 
foidulus said:
So this girl I'm seeing really wants to take our relationship to the next level(and I've been on a drought for way too long) but I'm fighting back because I'm paranoid about STDs, esp. herpes. Not really sure of her sexual history, but considering how we met, shes certainly not innocent....

We would use condoms, but am I just being too paranoid about a disease that has no cure? What is the tactful way to ask someone to get an STD test? How far into the relationship do people go before they have the ol' STD talk(if they have it all)

I do suck at tact....
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Or just marry her first, and wait.
 
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