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When should I call back date?

thewhitehart

thewhitehart

macrumors 65816
Original poster
Jul 9, 2005
1,106
609
The town without George Bailey
I went on a brilliant date last Monday that turned out very well. The woman seemed very happy and there were no awkward pauses over dinner - we talked without realizing the time passed by at all.

I left her in the subway, and being polite, I turned to kiss her on the cheek, and she turned to kiss me. The date seemed perfect -

So here's my problem. I gave her some time and called her on Thursday, leaving her a message asking if she wants to go out again. She hasn't called back, and it's Monday again! I'm not very good at reading women, but there was nothing wrong with this date at all, and I've been on some pretty bad ones. Should I call her back tomorrow? Is that enough time to wait? Does waiting this long on her part indicate that she doesn't want to see me again, or do I need to give her more time?
 
And I quote:

"You know I used to wait two days to call anybody, but now it's like everyone in town waits two days. So I think three days is kind of money. What do you think?

Yeah, but two's enough not to look anxious.

But I think three days is kind of money. You know because you...

........

Well how long are you guys gonna wait to call your babies?

Six days."

Such a great movie. :)

Anyways, I'd say 2 days in between calls, maybe 3.

And this whole "a women should never call a man" nonsense is absolutely stupid. That's why I think "dating" is soooo dumb.
 
If you enjoyed yourself, why wait to phone her?

Just phone and leave a message saying that you enjoyed yourself and would like to see her again.
 
These topics never cease to amaze me.

I'd say give it some more time, dont rush it at all. Maybe she's been tied up with something or isn't feeling well. You can't be sure, so the best thing to do is wait it out.

If this girl wants anything to do with you, she'll return your call soon.
 
I hate this "wait a certain number of days to call back a date" thing. IMO, if she likes you, it doesn't really matter how long you wait. If you like her, just call her again.

BTW, I'm single. :p :eek:
 
haha the three replies have had entirely different advice.

2-3 days.
dont wait.
chill out.

me? i will be honest. i havent the slightest idea. good luck though!
 
iSaint said:
If it were such such a great date you should have called the next day. I always called the next day.

But, I've been out of the loop for nearly 19 years, so what do I know?! :p
Click to expand...


i actually agree; i would have called the next day. but call. now.
 
iSaint said:
If it were such such a great date you should have called the next day. I always called the next day.
Click to expand...

I would have called her the next day as well and told her how much I enjoyed spending time with her.

Why wait 2 days? I'd think it seems sweet if you can't wait to see her again. I also don't think it sounds desperate or anything. I think she'll take it as a good sign, actually.


Abstract (NOT single)
 
If it was a great date then you should call her he next day and tell her you had a great time and would like to do it again. Keep it short and sincere. That lets her know that you enjoyed yourself and are interested in her. Also it alleviates any questions she may have and also lets her know that you aren't into games.
If you are into games and having the "power" or "control" then you will probably need to mature.

It worked for me with my now wife. :)
 
All this advice and rules and arghh. Just be yourself--if you feel like calling her, do it. If you feel like leaving six messages in one day, you're probably a stalker, but hey, be true to your nature. She'll call the cops if she feels threatened.
 
Just go with your gut feeling, but the key is that you don't want to seem too eager or desperate. Since you called her already, just wait until she calls you back. If you can't wait, then give her another call and go from there. You'll know the answer.
 
I disagree on the seeming desperate bit, only because I think it's best to be yourself from the get go. I mean, yeah, like the joke I was making, you don't want to be TOO eager, but that's for your benefit too.

Sorry for being contrary, I just tend to live by the "do as thou whilst" philosophy.
 
Best advise - always be yourself and totally upfront. If you cannot be comfortable with the potential for rejection, do it with humor. Say something like, "Gee, it usually takes several dates for women to figure out how boring I really am. Did we meet before? (or something like that)". Have fun with it and do not stress.
 
Like others have said, call her! Just be yourself.
Just say "I had a great time and I'd love to see you again if you'd like."
Sincerity is key. I.e., say what you feel, not what you think you should be saying. You can totally say something like "I haven't heard from you in a while, but I wanted to tell you that I liked you a lot and would love to see you again", or something similar.

If you *really* want to see her again and show her how serious you are about her, sugest something really nice and special that she won't refuse. E.g., say "I really liked you and had a great time with you, and if you'd like, I'd love to take you out to a nice restaurant later this week, perhaps Thursday or Friday? Call me back, ok?".

*If* a girl is remotely interested in you -- or undecided but open to the idea --, she won't refuse an invitation to a nice restaurant, or something similarly serious and special. If there's a particularly desirable place (in a serious way; not a "cool spot"), just name it ("I'd like to take you out to XYZ"). That way, you tell her she's special, and you also sound decisive and like a guy who takes charge.

If still no reply or some lame excuse, then she's not interested.

Good luck!
 
If this relationship is ever going to work you need to be honest with her. Say something like, "When you ignore my phone messages, I feel like you're ignoring me."

If you let this issue fester and bring it up later, she'll say, "Well why didn't you say something earlier?" And she'll have a good point.

So just call her and say that you're dissapointed that you haven't heard back and even if she doesn't want to date you she should have the decency to tell you that in person, not by ignoring a phone call.

If she doesn't respond to the second call, my book of etiquette says that you should not call a third time (insanity is repeating the same action and expecting different results). Instead stand outside her building or house and wait till she gets home, so you force her not to ignore you. Then confront her about her behavior and how it's not working toward a healthful relationship.
 
Call her incessantly - at least 30 times a day and leave messages asking why she hasn't called back.

In a few days she or, her lawyer, or the police will contact you. You can then aske her for another date.


Believe me, it'll work.
 
you should also be sure to leave her a lot of messages letting her know when you guys are meeting with the catering company you are thinking about using for the wedding, and that you think its high time in the relationship that both sets of parents meet.

girls love that.
 
j26 said:
Call her incessantly - at least 30 times a day and leave messages asking why she hasn't called back.

In a few days she or, her lawyer, or the police will contact you. You can then aske her for another date.


Believe me, it'll work.
Click to expand...
I just hope for you that you get the police, cos them lawyers can be a-class a**holes. they called last time, and it was not at all pleasant.
 
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