When You Speak w/ Someone, Which of Their Eyes Do You Look at?

HappyDude20

macrumors 68030
Original poster
Jul 13, 2008
2,833
284
Los Angeles, Ca
Hello!

What a thought to ponder. This has been on my mind all day, waiting to get home to ask the community.

So, last night i'm talking with a girl i've known for quite sometime and throughout the conversation I began realizing how I kept looking at her left eye throughout the conversation. Upon this realization, I decided to mix things up a bit and only look at her right eye; of which she instantly realized and sort of shifted in her seat.

This sparked something in my mind; that when I was younger, I exclusively only looked at people's right eye when they spoke to me. Why? I'm not sure, but perhaps it has something to do w/ being left-handed, my adolescent mind used to think. When I was about 18 I realized that most people, when talking to me, would look at left eye and thought since most people were doing it (..and most people were right handed), that looking at a person's left eye when conversing was the correct way to look at someone when talking.

Of course this is all semantics in a non-linguistic sense, considering as I got older I stopped thinking about all this and simply looked wherever the hell I wanted throughout a conversation; left eye, right eye, brow(s), in-between, mouth...etc.

But nevertheless it's an interesting thought. All I ask is that next time you're speaking with someone, catch yourself at where you are looking. If you can, report back here. I'm really curious about the answers, considering to this day I still focus on the person's left eye...but admittedly, felt unique in a way, being the one person that looked into their right eye.

Thanks. :cool:
 

Melrose

Suspended
Dec 12, 2007
7,808
397
I'd say their left one, but it depends. I tend to look at both equally if it's someone I like or know well, or if I'm trying to read a deadpan sense of humour.

It's something I've noticed in the past because I used to be very interested in body language..
 

iBlue

macrumors Core
Mar 17, 2005
19,182
15
London, England
Both really but I typically look at someone on the whole.

But on this topic, try looking expressionless at someone's face, not directly in their eyes - as though you're looking right through them. Then change your gaze to look them right in the eyes but subtly look for your own reflection. Or just look them in the eye blankly/coldly, which gives the same effect. Watch what it does to them... if you can pull it off correctly.
It can effectively freak a lot of people out. I did this to an ex when he was speaking to me and he looked totally unnerved before he stopped to say "What the hell? Are you planning my death?" which was the type of feeling I was trying to project to make him go away. I willed someone out of their seat on the tube doing this same thing. They stood on a packed train for 7 stops, occasionally looking back at me with a hint of anxiety. Though it may not be a fair test, Londoners don't tend to make much eye-contact on the tube.

I'm kind of fascinated by the way you can make someone uneasy simply by how you look at them.
 

RawBert

macrumors 68000
Jan 19, 2010
1,727
65
North Hollywood, CA
I used to have a neighbor who would always stop me to talk. He had either crossed eyes or a glass eye - I couldn't really tell.
I couldn't help but look at his dead eye. I really would try to look at his left eye (the good one / the one that was looking at me) but I couldn't. The right eye would just sit there, looking into the distance and I couldn't look away. It was really awkward. And the guy would just keep going on and on about whatever.

I'm glad he moved. :eek:
 

robanga

macrumors 68000
Aug 25, 2007
1,657
1
Oregon
My answer is definitely gender dependent.

I believe i vary though from the center of eyes and left and right.
 

leekohler

macrumors G5
Dec 22, 2004
14,164
21
Chicago, Illinois
Both. I also look at guys' hands. Nice hands are a big turn on. Hands with bitten down nails turn me off immediately. Shallow, I know, but it's just a preference. If a guy has good hands, I'll stare at them more than his eyes.
 

Rowf

macrumors regular
Feb 7, 2011
241
2
Never look them in the eyes, that could be misconstrued as a sign of challenge or aggression.

I always check the tail first, if it's wagging I check out the ears, if they're normally relaxed then I proceed with conversation but never look them in the eyes, things can go wrong if you look them in the eyes.

Try and focus on the nose, a good shiny nose and well groomed whiskers can make the most mundane conversation a visually interesting experience.
 
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SmolBean

macrumors newbie
Apr 27, 2017
1
0
Never look them in the eyes, that could be misconstrued as a sign of challenge or aggression.

I always check the tail first, if it's wagging I check out the ears, if they're normally relaxed then I proceed with conversation but never look them in the eyes, things can go wrong if you look them in the eyes.

Try and focus on the nose, a good shiny nose and well groomed whiskers can make the most mundane conversation a visually interesting experience.
Never look them in the eyes, that could be misconstrued as a sign of challenge or aggression.

I always check the tail first, if it's wagging I check out the ears, if they're normally relaxed then I proceed with conversation but never look them in the eyes, things can go wrong if you look them in the eyes.

Try and focus on the nose, a good shiny nose and well groomed whiskers can make the most mundane conversation a visually interesting experience.

This made my day lmao
 

T'hain Esh Kelch

macrumors 603
Aug 5, 2001
5,139
4,665
Denmark
Their left eye mostly.

I have a friend who is very crosseyed, and for her, I tend to look between her eyes. Mostly because I get confused as to where she's looking, and I start going back and forth between her eyes.

Quite peculiar.
 

Scepticalscribe

macrumors Sandy Bridge
Jul 29, 2008
50,805
34,323
The Far Horizon
I have no idea; very often, I am so busy thinking that I do not look at either eye (or face, or, the rest of their anatomy or body) as I gather my thoughts.
 
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