You seem to be conflating two things: updates and upgrades. Updates (bug fixes, security patches, etc.) have always been free, and as far as I know, Apple has never and would never withhold those from users until the next OS version.
P.S. It may be "old and tiring" for you, but others are new to the discussion, and I see no issue with it. No one's forced to read these threads, after all. I don't see any need to make the OP feel dumb (or whatever) for asking/posting.
No, I clearly said they used to charge for upGRADES, not upDATES.
My "old and tiring" comment wasn't meant to refer to this forum thread, but the discussion in general. It's kind of like the old PC vs. Mac discussion. In the end, nobody is forced to do any updates or upgrades, just as they can freely use Windows or Mac to accomplish the same tasks. It's a matter of personal choice, and of course, some people see the value of yearly upgrades and others do not. So with that being understood, there really is no debate or discussion to be had, other than for the sake of making sure our keyboards are still functioning.
When I think back to the Mac OS 7-9 days, I distinctly remember obscenely buggy, laggy, and almost unusable versions (System 7 comes to mind). It wasn't until the mid-cycle upgrades (7.5 for example) were released that the computer wouldn't experience a hard-crash every hour, depending on what software you were running. And this was pretty much universal for everyone.
Flash forward to modern macOS, I don't deny that a LOT of people are having issues with this, that or the other with the last few OS upgrades. But the vast majority have no issues at all. You don't hear about them, because they have better things to do than share the fact that they have no problems.
The fact that people can install Microsoft Office and have nothing but problems with it under Catalina and I have over 20 Macs that also have it installed and experience no problems at all on any of them tells me that the problem is not the computer, not the OS, not the MS software, but a combination of all of those things being administered by someone who thinks they're smarter than they are or simply aren't tech-savvy enough to know that it could simply be a corrupt font bringing the entire system to its knees.
As
LogicalApex stated above, everyone is on a different upgrade cycle, just like driving a car. Just because they release a new Chevy Camaro every year with only a few new doo-dads doesn't mean you have to buy it when you're having no problems with last year's model.