Hello there, all I can suggest you is to downgrade to snow leopard.
I have a late 2008 imac (3,06 ghz core 2duo, geforce 8800, 4gb ram).
Under snow leopard, this machine can handle World of Warcraft nearly maxed at 60+ fps stable with several applications running in background.
I've used this computer for production since its purchase, wich came with Leopard 10.5.4. With OSX Lion is no longer a production machine because of poor memory management.
It reserve a ridicolous amount of memory for apple applications such as mail, preview, textedit, and safari. On a fresh boot 2,5 gb of ram were used (wired, active) while on SL it sits around 800mb/1gb.
I'm barely able to launch a render with Maya or blender or After effects because most of the memory is used with only one application running with a a light project loaded.
Under snow leopard that's another story. I'm able to jump from Maya to Mudbox and photoshop with fairly large documents without issues.
I've used lion on this machine on a separate partition since the first developer preview, till the most recent developer seed of 10.7.2 so my experience is not based on a few hours/days of tests, I used as it was a production environment for application benchmarking.
I also have a macbook pro 2011 2,2 ghz with 8gb installed. I've tried lion on this machine just to see how it handled big maya scenes. Just for launching a render lion begins to page memory and sometimes it crashes because there's not enough memory available. Making a simulation cache is a guaranteed beachball hell because of less ram available and i sit around with 3-4gb of inactive ram. Only maya was running at the time. On snow leopard, everything is fine, with photoshop running as well as itunes while working on maya, and the OS clear the inactive ram used for cache as intended.
screenshot of activity monitor of the 2008 imac. Playing wow with several applications open in background without problems. SnowLeopard 10.6.8, safari downgraded to 5.0.5. Inactive ram reserved by photoshop.