"Macista" (picked this up off the old Maccentral site years ago):
The problem with liking Macs is that you must sell your soul to Steve. Steve is a cruel god. He's one of those old-fashioned demands-sacrifice gods. Every time he tells you something you must believe it, if you don't then you will condemn yourself to eternal damnation .... for doubting the word of Steve. Unfortunately Steve tests his faithful by demanding that they forget what he said yesterday.
And while you believe in Steve you will also pay with the sweat of your brow. You will toil in the fields to earn gold and deliver it unto Steve. It will allow him to fly his jet, and deliver you crummy hardware which will be a trial to your faith. And while you do this you will extol the brilliance of Steve ... for he is more brilliant than anybody ... particularly you ... that is why he has the jet and you don't.
Ok, maybe you don't like god Steve? We have polytheism here. You can pledge allegiance to god Bill. Bill is a cruel god too. He also demands sacrifice, of a different kind but perhaps greater degree than god Steve. Bill will permit you to buy your hardware from many serfs-of-Bill. They live in mortal fear, and compete valiantly for your attention. But Bill does not. For Bill has untold legions of slaves, their number is countless, and your existence is less to him than the life of a fly. In order to be accepted as a supplicant of Bill you must look upon his works and pronounce them "innovative." You must extol the brilliance of his minions, who admit that their prime skill is the production of crumnmy copies of other people's ideas. You must pay Bill so that he can be among the wealthiest men on earth ... copying the ideas of others. And then you must pray to him for his unequalled brilliance among men... because he makes more money than anybody. Remember that old americanism "If you're so smart why ain't you rich?" Well Bill is the richest guy so he must be the smartest. It's the american way.
OK, so you don't like both of them? You want a kinder christian god? Sorry, you're out of luck. You can go over to Linux/opensource/unix .. but they are Puritans. No joy or sex over there. No ... instead you will be bound to the purifying flame. You will learn mind-numbing mantras of posix-compliant command-line interfacing. You will engage in the dialectic of just exactly which open-source license is the one true religion? You will bow down to god Linus for having the original vision. You will be confronted by Linus's apostasy of going to work for Paul Allen in a secretive little company whose primary goal is to CASH IN BIG TIME by building sneaky hardware to run Wintel cheaper and on lower power. Linus has sold out. His example will torment you. As you confront endless koans of bash you will want to sell out too. Maybe if you become as good as Linus one of the minions of Bill will pay a little money for your soul too?
