That is just false. As I said in a different discussion, I just opened the entirety of MS Office, Chrome, and Photoshop and After Effects: 500MB Free RAM with 500MB inactive. A total of 1GB of accessible RAM.
To some extent you can both be right. OSX tries to do the best it can with the memory it has. The more it has the more it will use. The less it has the more it will try and avoid using and the more it will swap. And it will swap before using all available memory in any case.
I did a series of experiments with 1, 2, 4, and 8gb of RAM on the same machine and OSX - just changing the amount of RAM in the machine.
Things seemed to run ok in 1gb but there was a lot of swapping and if you were familiar with more ram you could tell the machine was significantly slower.
With 2gb there was a significant performance improvement. Felt snappy with light use. Still some swapping even with routine use and performance suffered with heavy use.
With 4gb there was a small performance improvement for regular use and a much larger one for heavy use. This is likely the sweet spot for routine users today which is why it's the base offering in most macs. Still occasional swapping even under light use and getting heavier with more programs and tasks.
With 8gb there was no noticeable performance improvement for light use. But under heavy use performance stayed high rather than falling off as it did with 4gb. Swapping was rare even under heavy use unless I tried to run multiple VMs
So you have to monitor both memory used and swapping to predict what a ram upgrade might do for you. The programs, files, and usage patterns will vary from person to person so thier ram needs will as well. What's fine for one person may not be for another.
My non scientific experiments indicate that while some users will be fine with 2gb, LIon is not running optimally even for light use. Lion does seem to run optimally with light use in 4gb and runs well but not optimally as use increases. It really depends on your usage patterns, programs, files etc that will determine the amount of memory you might need to run optimally.
In my case I run optimally most of the time with between 6gb and 8gb of ram.