Woot mocking Jobs

Discussion in 'iPhone' started by Sobe, Sep 20, 2007.

  1. Sobe macrumors 68000

    Sobe

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2007
    Location:
    Wash DC suburbs
    #1
    I found this pretty funny in today's Woot.

    http://www.woot.com/


    Therefore, we have decided to offer every Woot customer who purchased a Zune from us on August 22, 2007 (or in the last Woot-Off) a $10 Woot credit towards any Woot order of $40 or more, before shipping. If that’s you, just enter the coupon code BUMPYROAD while making your purchase, and boo-yah: you’re mayor of Discount City.

    EDIT:

    For those of you not familiar with Woot, keep in mind that once the day turns over, this will be gone as they put up a new product with new copy each day...and the thread won't make much sense anymore to those who might view it; therefore, I'll paste it in here.

    An Emergency Open Letter

    To all Woot customers:

    I have received more than three emails from Zune buyers who are upset about Woot dropping the price of the Zune by $20 one month after it went on sale the first time. After reading every one of these emails, or at least scanning their subject lines, I have some observations and conclusions.

    First, I need to make a better effort to hide my email address.

    Second, I am sure that we are making the correct decision to lower the price of the 30GB Zune from $149.99 to $129.99. This confidence is based on more than the holy doctrine of corporate infallibility. The Zune is a breakthrough product, and we have the chance to “ride the lightning” and “shoot the curl” this holiday season, not to mention “kill the messenger” and “rock the vote”, further enabling us to “pay the rent” and “keep the lights on”. It benefits both Woot and every Zune user (but especially Woot) to drag as many new victims as possible into the Zune “dungeon”. We strongly believe that misery loves company this holiday season.

    Third, being in technology for 1+ years, give or take a year, I can attest to the fact that the technology road is bumpy. There is always some idiot changing lanes without signaling, and the potholes never seem to get fixed. If you always wait for the next price cut or to buy the new improved model, you’ll never buy any technology product. I mean, why should you? Truth is, you don’t really need any of this junk. We’re afraid you’ll catch on to that fact and overpaid frauds like me will have to go back into fields like telemarketing and burrito construction. Fortunately, most of you continue to languish in a consumerist stupor, wallets spread wide for us to plunder as we please. The bad news for us is that if you buy products from companies that support them well, you will receive years of useful and satisfying service. But we’re hoping you’ll buy from Woot instead.

    Third-and-a-half, even though we are making the right decision to lower the price of the Zune, and even though the technology road is, like, this total Deathrace 2000-type scene, we need to do a better job taking care of our early Zune customers, at least until we find a private security firm we can afford. For some reason, our early customers trusted us. We must live up to that trust with our actions in moments like these, lest you turn off the money spigot that maintains our decadent lifestyles. These peacock-egg omelets and mink-lined Jacuzzis don’t pay for themselves, you know.

    Therefore, we have decided to offer every Woot customer who purchased a Zune from us on August 22, 2007 (or in the last Woot-Off) a $10 Woot credit towards any Woot order of $40 or more, before shipping. If that’s you, just enter the coupon code BUMPYROAD while making your purchase, and boo-yah: you’re mayor of Discount City. This discount applies to any Woot site, including Woot.com, Shirt.Woot, Wine.Woot, Sellout.Woot, and Beets.Woot. It doesn't expire, so feel free to check back everyday 'til you find something that will temporarily fill the void in your soul. You may use the coupon as many times as you bought Zunes. So, if you bought one Zune from us back in August, you can use BUMPYROAD once; if you bought two, you can use it twice; and so forth and so on and what-have-you. But you can only use the discount once on any one order. We make this decision with every confidence that most of you will never want any of the crap we sell anyway.

    We want to convincingly pretend to do the right thing for our valued Zune customers. We’d apologize for disappointing some of you, but we long ago lost the capacity for sincere remorse. We will continue to do our best to trick you into having high expectations of Woot.

    Larry Stalin
    Woot CYA Officer
     
  2. ivi7 macrumors 6502a

    ivi7

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2007
    #2
    This is amazing :D
     
  3. D1G1T4L macrumors 68000

    D1G1T4L

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2007
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    #3
    Don't know which is more funny.........the stab at Jobs or Zunes at $129 :D

    Maybe next time around they will be better.
     
  4. Bambeezer macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2007
    Location:
    Dallas, TX
  5. AdeFowler macrumors 68020

    AdeFowler

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2004
    Location:
    England
  6. phungy macrumors 68020

    phungy

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2006
    Location:
    FL/NY/TX
  7. kdarling macrumors demi-god

    kdarling

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2007
    Location:
    Cabin by a lake with snow softly falling
    #8
    Thanks for this! I love the part about the killer technology road. The visual image is great.

    "Third-and-a-half, even though we are making the right decision to lower the price of the Zune, and even though the technology road is, like, this total Deathrace 2000-type scene, we need to do a better job taking care of our early Zune customers, at least until we find a private security firm we can afford. "

    Also note the signature:

    "Woot CYA Officer"

    For the youngsters, CYA = Cover Your A**
     
  8. notjustjay macrumors 603

    notjustjay

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2003
    Location:
    Canada, eh?
    #9
    "I have received more than three emails"...

    Priceless. I love that site :D
     
  9. billchase2 macrumors 68000

    billchase2

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2006
    Location:
    Ann Arbor
  10. gkarris macrumors 604

    gkarris

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2004
    Location:
    "No escape from Reality..."
    #11
    sold out anyways - guess I missed my $130 entry into "The Social"...
     
  11. calvy macrumors 65816

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2007
    #12
    You have to admit it's got a nicer screen than any of the ipods except the touch and the iPhone. If I could hack it to run linux, I'd throw down 130 bucks for one.
     
  12. Eric Lewis macrumors 68020

    Eric Lewis

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2007
    Location:
    CANADA? eh?
  13. blueflame macrumors 6502a

    blueflame

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2003
    Location:
    Studio City
    #14
    hey there... be careful, I remember the says of showing my ipod and hearing, whats an ipod?
    do you remember that?
    A
     
  14. D1G1T4L macrumors 68000

    D1G1T4L

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2007
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    #15
    I have nothing against someone making another MP3 player. I welcome it and WANT it as it compitition is a good thing.

    Now the Zune IMO just feel short. Microsoft has a chance and just didn't pull the trigger. It is a good start and I hope to see them continue on but only time will tell.
     
  15. gceo macrumors 6502a

    gceo

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2007
    Location:
    San Diego, CA
    #16
    By the time MS gets the Zune to be popular, more people will be on Ubuntu than Windows.

    hahahha, I still remember CNET calling it the iPod killer. Way too funny.
     

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