If your XS Max screen came scratched with chip marks on the stainless steel I would take it back for an exchange, even if this is your 2nd or 3rd device. My guess is you got a unit someone returned and it somehow made its way back as a 'new' phone (not sure what Apple does with returns, anyone know?).
Bottom line is this sounds like it's going to bug you until you get a defect-free phone. I get bugged by such things as well, so I don't blame you.