Just broke up with my girlfriend.

Interesting replies.

How about this? I didn't have fun hanging out with her! We didn't share any passions! I felt guilty every time she sent a mushy text because I didn't feel the same way.

There were no serious problems, just no spark or desire or passion or FUN for me.

Is that enough?

mobilehaathi said:

The question then becomes: wtf were you doing going out with her in the first place?

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Well first of all, I was exaggerating a bit in my last post, because a lot of people here didn't seem to understand how confident I am that she's not the one for me.

But the bulk of the answer to that question is that our relationship started online and long distance, and during that time I fell in love with her and we Skyped for literally 4+ hours a day.

For reasons I can't explain, after the first three months, when our relationship was no longer long distance, I never got to feeling about her in-person the way I had felt about her during the Skype days. But now we were three months in, and I was not clear on what I was feeling or what was going on. It's not like I could have said "oh, you're like a different person now that we're not long distance, I'm leaving you." Though I did communicate to her that I feel disoriented by the difference, because I'm into radical honesty.

As the months went on I became more and more uncomfortable being with her because the feelings I had when we were long-distance just weren't coming back. So I broke up with her in May. We got back together the next day though, because I missed her and I was confused and I just couldn't let go.

Between May and now we had a lot of good times together, mostly when I was able to not think about the future at all, and pretend that I am not almost certain that we're not going to end up together. That conversation kept coming up though obviously, because of the way I felt. I always tried to be completely honest with her, but I'm weak, and that weakness combined with the fact that it's technically true that I can't know for Sure how I'll feel in the future, caused me to feel very comfortable and good about being with her in the last several months.

The lack of fun and passion is what I am now perceiving from the perspective of being apart for over a week. For example, on Saturday I did an activity with a friend of mine who shares a certain passion that my girlfriend didn't, and I noticed I was having a lot more fun in the same type of situation than I was with my girlfriend. Just things like that.

In retrospect I feel that you're supposed to be more elated and excited to see your parter, and really loving every minute of it and having things you love to do together.

I used to think that if there were no major problems on paper, that that was a reason to stay in a relationship, but I think there also has to be a spark, and I've just recently learned that.

Mrg02d said:

No offense, but you sound a bit odd to me...Id also suggest talking to a psychologist as you seem to be pretty conflicted about this.

Im not saying you are nuts or anything, but this is pretty unusual behavior for guys...(You are a guy, right?)

Most guys I know never thought that hard over a GF of less than a year...Never-the-less, never be with someone that doesnt make you happy...In the end, theyll make you miserable. (Especially when religion, politics, and kids pop up!)

EDIT:Usually, the one for you makes you excited to be with...So if youve never felt excited, then your "shes the one" is still out there.

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Well no offense but I'm a human being. I think about things. When I'm with a girl for a few months I'm going to be thinking about whether I see marriage potential. I'm not just going to be like "wheee, I'm getting sex, so all is good."