So I'm 90% sure the OP was joking, but since this is generating some serious, discussion, here are my thoughts:
You will rarely if ever need more than 2 USB ports because whenever people list the things they have it's usually along the lines of "when I'm at my desk I need to hook up an external hard drive, mouse, keyboard, iPod, etc." The fact is, you never need more than 2 USB ports when NOT at your desk. So just get a hub, which you leave at the desk, and call it a day.
This is one of the few cases where I agree with Apple getting by with the minimum. More USB ports would effect the outer aesthetics of the case, but more importantly, effect how things are placed inside it. If you look at the Macbook right now, there is ZERO room for a larger logic board to have more USB ports...
And I don't care at all.
I only use ONE USB port most of the time, because I just have a hub at my desk that I plug in. Connected to the hub is a mouse, keyboard, hard drive, camera, and phone. I'd rather have the convenience of plugging in a single plug via a hub than five. Purists can argue that my hard drive will be marginally slower through a hub than if it was plugged directly in, which is true, but it is the same situation of me not caring enough to be inconvenienced by it.