50 office-speak phrases you love to hate

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by edesignuk, Jun 17, 2008.

  1. Melrose macrumors 604

    Melrose

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2007
    Location:
    Elsewhere
    #2
    I hate it when people ask me "Working hard, or hardly working?"

    *gnash*

    ..then again, it pleasantly amuses me at the same time because in my shallow mind I equate this IQ... for better or worse.
     
  2. tyranna macrumors regular

    tyranna

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    Jan 13, 2007
    Location:
    great american sw
    #3
    i work with a guy that works hard at hardly working - 110% of the time.

    :(
     
  3. wordmunger macrumors 603

    wordmunger

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2003
    Location:
    North Carolina
    #4
    My wife's office doesn't like the term "retreat" to describe an all-day meeting to discuss long-term strategy. Instead they call it an "advance." Get it? Like, moving forward instead of backward? Doesn't that just incentivize you like crazy?

    Drives me (and her) bonkers.
     
  4. brn2ski00 macrumors 68020

    brn2ski00

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2007
  5. tersono macrumors 68000

    tersono

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2005
    Location:
    UK
    #6
    LOL - I got a couple of hostile looks in a recent managers' meeting, when the 'utter pillock who wishes he was in charge' (TM) used the word 'Incentivize'

    My response was: 'Oh God - does anyone here speak English?'

    Got a laugh from the two board members present, fortunately :D
     
  6. psychofreak Retired

    psychofreak

    Joined:
    May 16, 2006
    Location:
    London
    #7
    I'm not yet in employment, but here in school, teachers love using "hyperactive" to explain that a student cannot just sit still and listen.
     
  7. Slip macrumors 6502a

    Slip

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    Wiltshire, England
  8. wordmunger macrumors 603

    wordmunger

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2003
    Location:
    North Carolina
    #9
    FYI, "FYI" was part of the officespeak lexicon long before IM existed.
     
  9. Slip macrumors 6502a

    Slip

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2007
    Location:
    Wiltshire, England
    #10
    Damn...
    But none the less, it gets on my t*ts.
     
  10. wordmunger macrumors 603

    wordmunger

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2003
    Location:
    North Carolina
    #11
    Yeah, whatever happened to "vacation"?
     
  11. tobefirst macrumors 68040

    tobefirst

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2005
    Location:
    St. Louis, MO
    #12
    One of the ones mentioned on the list in the OP is one that I loathe: "Let's talk offline about this" to mean "let's talk about this outside of this meeting." Ugh.
     
  12. iGav macrumors G3

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2002
    #13
    synergy, end-to-end, one-stop-shop... the usual suspects, usually uttered several times a minute by a client when they're shopping for a new agency. :rolleyes:
     
  13. odinsride macrumors 65816

    odinsride

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2007
    #14
    My personal list:

    "The fact of the matter is..."
    "It is what it is"
    "I'll ping you later about this"
    "From a ____ perspective/standpoint"
     
  14. Melrose macrumors 604

    Melrose

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    Dec 12, 2007
    Location:
    Elsewhere
    #15
    I hate alliteration and rhyme in the workplace. I've heard this one, too, several times even, in the ad spots we run where I work. Drives me nuts because they think it sounds so 'hip' and 'with it'..
     
  15. HD303 macrumors regular

    HD303

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2006
    Location:
    Observatory Park
    #16
    At the end of the day
    Think outside the box
    The Net-Net result

    just three that come to mind
     
  16. PlaceofDis macrumors Core

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2004
    #17
    i can't stand any of the 'office-speak' really, which makes me glad i don't have to put up with it as i'd forever be correcting people on their misuse of words. :p
     
  17. zelmo macrumors 603

    zelmo

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2004
    Location:
    Mac since 7.5
    #18
    When someone says they want to 'reach out' to me, I want to reach out and wrap my hands around his/her neck.

    'Let's talk offine' is really code for 'why the f*** did you bring that up on this call, you moron?!':D
     
  18. heehee macrumors 68020

    heehee

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2006
    Location:
    Same country as Santa Claus
    #19
    I hate "at the end of the day". Every time I hear that, I want to punch someone in the face, and that's my best friend's favorite phrase. :D
     
  19. vanmacguy macrumors 6502a

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2007
    Location:
    Not where you live.
    #20
    "Please leverage the following resources" instead of "talk to these people".

    I think the reason phrases like this are used is that people like to sound smarter than they actually are.

    Cheers.
     
  20. iowamensan macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2006
    #21
    Every time I take a call from a vendor, I can GUARANTEE they will say "I just wanted to touch base with you...."
    I want to hang up right then.
     
  21. PlaceofDis macrumors Core

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2004
    #22
    that is the whole point of it, yes. to make things appear a bit different and above what it really means. its nonsense.
     
  22. jb60606 macrumors 6502a

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2008
    Location:
    Chicago
    #23
    'touch base'

    Anyone that touches my base gets a swift kick to the head.
     
  23. killerrobot macrumors 68020

    killerrobot

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2007
    Location:
    127.0.0.1
    #24
    I've got no problem with PTO. It's those damned TPS reports that kill me.;)
     
  24. scotthayes macrumors 68000

    scotthayes

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2007
    Location:
    Birmingham, England
    #25
    don't think you can beat "we need a holistic, cradle-to-grave approach"

    that would meet with a response of "Stop talking utter bollocks"

    thankfully I don't spend any time in meetings but for those who do

    Meeting bingo
     

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