A day that changed your life.

It's so hard to pick just one. I would have to say the first time I took LSD was an extremely profound experience that affected how I perceived and interacted with the world. Definitely a positive experience. About the only thing I have in common with Steve Jobs, too.

 

I don't know if I had a single day, but I've had time periods or single action decisions that had made significant impacts on my life.

 

...

 

Yeah, that's huge. I thought as a child that when my mother died I would be devastated. She passed about a year ago after slowly deteriorating from dementia. It was far harder watching her suffer than mourning her death. The whole experience was frustrating on so many levels that I just want to die peacefully and on my terms in some remote wilderness when it's my time to go. There probably won't be any remote wilderness left when that time comes, so I'd better start making other plans.

 

I feel your pain. I lost my mom on Christmas day in 97', and my dad in 01'. Unfortunately we all go though it sooner or later. I especially miss my mom. I guess you can call me a momma's boy too. There's no shame in that...

 

The day my mom passed. I've never been the same.

 

Wow.. I have a few in my head that are absolutely unforgettable. But the one that comes out on top...

Memorial Day weekend. my SO and I are getting the house cleaned up, as we are expecting our first child. I'm out in the garage storing some things, when I hear her coming to the back door, bleeding and in labour. Normally that wouldn't be a problem, except that she was only 17 weeks along. We rush to the ER, which they take her back, get her stabilized, but keep me outside of her room, door closed. No-one comes in or leaves the room for 30 minutes.. 45 minutes.. 4 more people and a cart go in, but still won't let me in.. another 45 minutes go by, and 5 people leave along with the cart, and won't say a word to me. 15 minutes later, the doctor lets me in, leaves and I can see my wife.

We had a baby girl. She lived less than 10 minutes. I didn't to see her, except for after she died. They cleaned her up as best as they could and presented her to me in a silver pan (lack of a better word). They took her again a short time later. That was the last I ever saw of her. It wasn't for another hour that someone came in from the hospital that I could talk to to ask or find out what was going on, and that was only the chaplain. No single doctor or nurse would give me the time of day, let alone tell me what happened.

State law here in CA (if not federal) states that for a doctor/hospital/medical facility to be obligated to try to save the unborn child, they must at the least be at 24 weeks or later into the gestational cycle. So, it is at 24 weeks where you are guaranteed a birth and death certificate in case of loss.
Since she was at 17, she was deemed a second trimester miscarriage, and discarded as medical waste. So according to the state, it is as if she never existed, though my wife gave birth to her.

In that one day, all of the hopes and dreams I had for her were gone. In that one day, our rose-coloured glasses of how easy, sweet, and perfect pregnancies and births were supposed to be were shattered. And seeing how someone like the Duggers could have gone through 19 births, and how that was basically glorified made my wife and I just so grief stricken, especially about how unfair it was, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

So far to date, that one day was the third time in my life, as strong as I had to be for both her and I, that sat down and cried like a baby. As a father, you're supposed to be the protector; don't let anyone hurt your baby girl. Not only was she hurt, she was gone. we couldn't protect her. And what makes it worse, is that no-one wants to hear about how pregnancies go wrong or the tragic side of it. All they think about are the baby showers, clothes shopping, etc. But when a loss happens, they don't want to be around, because they themselves don't know how to handle it. That's why it's a silent sorrow.. And I'm sorry to say, everyone, that could happen to anyone here. And the day that happened to me, is one I can not and will not ever forget.

BL.

 

in my middle teens, discovering the writers of existential literature and philosophy was life changing.

Not a single day or event, but an epiphany, none the less.

 

I had some good and some bad, for sure I do not want to remember any.

 

I can't say I had a day or a particular experience that changed my life. But I did have a period of time.

All though high school and college, I was just awkward and shy. In high school, I basically hung out with one or two others. In college, I didn't really hang out with anyone. I had friends, but very few real ones who I could call and just chat with, or who I would go hang out with singularly. It was always group settings. I certainly couldn't chat up random people, or certainly girls.

After college, I went out on tour with a large entertainment company. For 5.5 years, I struggled to fit in. I was very driven and wanted the best show we could put out, but I generally worked with people who were out there to get drunk and get laid. The quality of work was a distant priority. So I never really jived with any of them.

I did date a couple of people during this time, but none of which were on tour with me, and all were long distance. But those two started me on a different path with a little more confidence.

Then, I left that company, and went on tour with a different company. And that's when my life changed. I found people who were as driven as me, and people who I fit in with much better. In the course of one year, I went from barely being able to speak to people I didn't know, and being nervous around those I did, to being able to walk up to pretty much anyone and talk. My confidence shot throughout the roof and I had more fun in that year and a half than I had had in most the rest of my life combined. Never cocky, but at least able to have conversations. It was definitely a social group.

Since then, I've had little trouble fitting in around all different types of people. I still get uncomfortable around really super-confident cocky-style guys, but other than that, I'm good.

 

There has been several. When I was born and recovering from having my first shunt put in. That happened in 1979. Then I had the same surgery in 1993. The two most recent happened in 1999. (Only part of my shunt went bad (it got clogged) so my Neurosurgeon went in to take out the clogged tube and replaced it with a new tube. However, he was having trouble getting it to go in correctly, so instead of trying to place it in right and sending me home with a bent tube knowing I would be back with extreme pain in my head, he kept me in the hospital to have surgery to correct the kinked tube. I was in the hospital for a total of seven days.

 

When I totaled my car and got out of it with a few stitches on my left eyelid. There was no right half of the vehicle, the front bumper was in the back seat, and the engine was practically in my lap. I should be dead.

 

The day my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer, then the day she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Glad to say she if five years clear of breast cancer and one year free of ovarian cancer. Certainly has changed our outlook on life and how precious it is.

 

Lost my mom to cancer 8 years ago. I tell friends all the time that its normal to lose loved ones but there's something different about Mom. Feel your pain.

 

Wow. So there's that other thread about whether you ever cry when reading a book or article. This does it to me. That was heart-wrenching.

 

The day I saw my best friend die. I haven't had a good night's sleep since...

 

Got a text message from my fiance stating "im pregnant" 9 months later my daughter was born.

 

Yesterday.

After a repiratory illness for 6 weeks and increasing shortness of breath, I had a CT scan revealing pulmonary fibrosis and pulmonary function tests indicating I am exchanging oxygen poorly. Hopefully just post infectious and reversible (biopsy on Friday). However after seeing my maternal grandmother and my father die of progressive pulmonary diseases years ago, I am kind of in a dark place today.

 

While I wasn't in quite the same boat as you, but I got some bad news a long these lines too. I won't go into detail, just to say blaming myself and not talking about it with friends and family was a big mistake. I took my life and destroyed a large part of what was good, and the gentle nudge that started it all was that day.

 

The day my wife and I separated after a 27 year marriage. We got divorced about 8 months later. My life hasn't been the same ever since.

 

My thoughts are with you