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A day that changed your life.

samiwas said:
Wow. So there's that other thread about whether you ever cry when reading a book or article. This does it to me. That was heart-wrenching.
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Thank you. I only write about it now, as it is therapeutic for me, and the best way to honour her and bring to light the mainly taboo subject of pregnancy loss is to talk about her; make sure she is not, or ever forgotten. We'll never know what happened nor what happened to her, but as long as I keep talking about her, she will always be remembered. I only wish that it hadn't come at such a high cost. This Memorial Day weekend, she would have turned 6.

And we have children now; a 3 year old and one who will turn 1 this month. Most others have told us that we should be happy with them, and we are; but it also isn't the one we lost.

Raid said:
While I wasn't in quite the same boat as you, but I got some bad news a long these lines too. I won't go into detail, just to say blaming myself and not talking about it with friends and family was a big mistake. I took my life and destroyed a large part of what was good, and the gentle nudge that started it all was that day.
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Not talking about it, or not having a means to get your feelings out really does tear you up. For my daughter, we're still working on that. As for #2, see below.

tekboi said:
The day I saw my best friend die. I haven't had a good night's sleep since...
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This.. was #2 for me. But it also wasn't just my best friend. it was the first girlfriend I ever had. she was killed by a drunk driver. He walked away from the accident. That was 21 years ago. Because of my grandparents being gravely ill themselves, I couldn't make it to her funeral. So imagine the flack one would get if friends made it to her funeral, but the her SO didn't.

Silver lining to this one, though. I threw myself into music, and one of my influences was this band, and their music helped me through the whole thing. So I put up a site about them and how they helped me without even knowing who I am. Keep in mind, this is the early to mid-90s here, so the WWW wasn't as mainstream as it is now.

That band found my site, read the story, felt moved enough to email me as they didn't realize how much their music made an impact. I've been friends with them ever since. It's really cool to be friends with one of your favourite bands in the world.

But her dying made me realize that all of the petty and trivial things teens go through in their lives are just that: petty. The day she died and the months afterward made me realize that life was starting to get REAL.

BL.
 
Positive.
Meeting my wife (Olympic games in Atlanta) in 1996. Getting engaged 2 months later. Getting married 2 years after that. The birth of my beautiful Baby girl. 11 now but still my little baby girl.

Negative.
Being accused of hurting our daughter as she hadn't been diagnosed with Aspergers at the time and some incompetent doctor took it on her self to be our judge, jury and executioner. The three months it took to clear our name, and the 3 years since living with the consequences. Hardest thing I've ever had to deal with.
 
bradl said:
In that one day, all of the hopes and dreams I had for her were gone. In that one day, our rose-coloured glasses of how easy, sweet, and perfect pregnancies and births were supposed to be were shattered. And seeing how someone like the Duggers could have gone through 19 births, and how that was basically glorified made my wife and I just so grief stricken, especially about how unfair it was, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

BL.
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My heart goes out to you. I've written this before and hope you don't mind my sharing it here.

Back in 2006 I had the occasion to witness two tragedies in one short day.

In one room of the neonatal intensive care unit I stood watching a newborn baby struggle for life. She was born at 26 weeks but due to the anomaly she was actually developmentally only 22 weeks.

At a mere 13 ounces she was the tiniest child I ever saw. She made facial expressions of frustration as she kicked her left leg against the clear plastic wrap that was stretched across the top of her bed to trap heat near her. She was intubaded and hopelessly struggled against the plastic tube that fed her oxygen. She was opening and shutting her mouth and chewing at the tube. At one moment I even saw her hopelessly pushing against the tube her miniature tongue.

Seven hours later it was over. She was dead. It was a tragic end to this baby’s life, and a tragic day for her young parents.

Coincidentally at almost the same hour one floor below neonatal care unit another woman died. She died a day short of her 100th birthday. What’s noteworthy is that she had been lying in a vegetative state for what i understand had been three years after suffering a stroke. I saw the family of this woman finally allowing their grief to bubbling up. It appeared as emotional of a moment as the parents of the newborn.

As I laid back in my bed at the end of the day I thought about those two lives. I thought about the tragedy of one human who by no fault of her own could not live, and another person who could not die.

As a police officer I've witnessed many tragedies. I decided long ago there are no answers for some of my questions.

I also have come to realize that time does not heal anything, it only makes the pain more tolerable.
 
Gutwrench said:
Not long ago I receive a telephone call from my mother who had moved several states away with my father. The gist of the conversation was to tell me the result of a medical test revealed she had bone cancer. As i hung up the phone and quietly prepared for bed it occurred to me my life, not to mention Mom's life, would never be the same. Not a single day would pass without the smothering weight of reality. She was gone in about six months.

I'm not afraid to admit I'm a mommy's boy. Oh, how those lonely winds do blow.
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When you know of someone who has lost their mother you think,"gee what a lonely terrible thing for that person, then
you lose yours and its a profound loss....times U think of calling her to talk and now U can't anymore...
 
This past September I went to my first funeral, it was my great aunt. She had helped my family so much especially in emigrating from Europe so she was very important to us. I remember standing there and seeing her in the casket and hearing the service and trying to keep my composure. They let everyone in the church go up to the casket and say a goodbye I guess. I've never touched a dead body and her hand was so cold and lifeless. Couldn't hold back tears at that point. I felt like I had moved up a notch after that day and definitely value life a lot more now.


Another one was from a few years ago when my grandpa died (dad's side). I remember my dad's brother, my uncle, came over and was crying so much and my dad was trying to console him. Later that day I saw my dad sitting on the stairs and crying. I've never seen him cry before, I always thought of him as this pillar of strength and seeing him in that state just seemed so surreal to me.
 
For me there would be several days:

1. Day I graduated college. I was the first one in my immediate family to earn a college degree. Neither my parents nor my older brother did.

2. Marrying my wife. Can't begin to describe the change she has made in my life.

3. Becoming a parent. Raising my children and teaching them is one of the most important things in my life.

4. Accepting Jesus as my Lord and Savior.

5. My parents death. My dad was ill for quite awhile and so it wasn't unexpected when he passed. My mother however was a total shock. She was at Disney World with my youngest niece, having a great time. Returned home on a Wednesday, and was in the hospital on Friday and gone by Tuesday. From Disney to dead in less than a week.:(
 
A day that will stick out in my life is one that changed mine forever. Had been at uni for 6 years with essentially no friends. I had a few people I spoke to, but none I would consider friends. Walk into first lecture of principles of psychological assessment at 8am on a Friday. Being that I liked to go to gym first, I was close to being late and found that everyone I knew was sitting next to someone else. Then one said, why don't you sit here? Gesturing to someone with a spare place next to them. Little did I know, that person would become my best friend who helped me become a better person, who has been there through many troubled times and showed me what a real friend was. I never did finish masters but I received the most treasured gift out of doing it.
 
Gutwrench said:
Everyone experiences a few significant moments that changes their life. From the ignoble to sublime, what was one of yours?
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It wasn't a single point, but more an understanding that I really needed to stop worrying about things I couldn't control or really help with. Two things contributed to that realization:
  1. I was involved in a nasty car accident in which I was 50% at fault, and unfortunately a teen-age girl in the other car was seriously hurt. She recovered, thankfully, but for 3 months after the accident I was a wreck mentally. Basically just fried. I was so concerned about her well being, and the fact that I couldn't find out how she was doing (thank the lawyers for that). The claim agent at my insurance company spent a LOT of time on the phone with me assuring me she had my back, and that the girl was going to be OK, etc, etc. At some point it just clicked; I can't explain it really. I just understood, "Hey: there's nothing you can do about this, so for ****'s sake STOP WORRYING!"
  2. A dear friend of mine was going through some issues of her own that are too complicated to explain. Needless to say, I was very worried about her... far more than a close friend should be. It got to the point that I literally wasn't sleeping much at all simply due to the fact that I was so concerned about her well-being. Stupidly: I wasn't paying attention to MY well-being. I'd get an hour or two of sleep each night, and this literally went on for over a year! Like the former, at some point it clicked again, and I realized: this is HER problem, not mine. There's nothing I can do about this at all. Literally. As soon as that realization walloped me upside the head, I began sleeping like the dead again.

This may just be a maturation sort of thing: to understand there are things well and truly outside of your own control and you really shouldn't concern yourself over it. I've hit that point, and it's very liberating.

jas

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SandboxGeneral said:
I would have to say that the day I earned the title U.S. Marine was a very significant day for me. One that I am very proud of and will not forget.
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I have the deepest respect for all branches of the armed services, but there's a special spot in my heart for the Marines. I love my Corps. You have every right in the world to be proud, Marine.

jas
 
In the one sense, every day has shaped my life... more or less. But as for dramatic changes, I would say that the day I met my wife is what changed it the most. At a time when I was struggling with severe depression and alcoholism, she came into my life, lightened it up and gave me the strength to quit drinking. She also showed me how to get rid of resentment and bitterness, which is probably the most valuable lesson I ever learned.
 
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Of all the days, I'd say it was when my first child was born. At that point I became responsible for not just myself, but for another life. Getting married, college, and our second child are all memorable, but the first child just changes life completely.
 
3-6-2013 at 1:10am I lost my best friend since high school. He left behind a wife and 2 great children. He was only 26 years old..

Yesterday(4-8-2013) was my 27th birthday and not getting that phone call from him really shook me up but I did get an awesome message from his 2 kids telling me happy "dirtday".... that made my day
 
Late-December: I tried killing myself.

I just got out of hospitalization about a month ago.
 
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