A Personal Attack

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by toolbox, Jan 6, 2010.

  1. toolbox macrumors 68020

    toolbox

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2007
    Location:
    Australia (WA)
    #1
    Hi all, i thought i would share this with you get your thoughts

    Just to begin, as some of you may know reading my posts, i have a eye disease which means i can not and will not own or drive a car.

    So Today, i arrive at work, 8am all is well. 11am i am onsite at a clients sight with some problems that occurred over the christmas and new year break. I get back at 3:30pm return my phone messages.

    Then my boss wants to have a chat with me, So i get in there and he starts to tell me i need to be more independent. I was like ok. I have no idea what has bought this on i really don't

    I proceeds to tell me that because of my eye disability and i rely on people to get me around that it must inconveniance a lot of people and in particularly your parents having to drop you at work and pick you up

    By this time i am speechless

    He then has the nerve to tell me i am unfit and i need to do something about it. By this time i couldn't get a word out.

    I mean seriously, what has this got to do with work? I thought this was a work conversation to begin with.

    Has anyone been in this position before? Like this was unexpected he isn't even family. the reason my parents drop me at work is

    1. I start work at 8am and so does mum
    2. I finish work at 5pm and so does mum and dad.

    So they drop me home because it is on there way home.

    Any ideas how to confront this? i am tempted to confront him with a Please explain your comments
     
  2. edesignuk Moderator emeritus

    edesignuk

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2002
    Location:
    London, England
    #2
    I'd ask him if he could explain how your transport arrangements and fitness are hurting his business exactly.
     
  3. arkitect macrumors 601

    arkitect

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2005
    Location:
    Bath, United Kingdom
    #3
    Personally I would have "cleared the air" right there and then.

    1. Is he implying your "disability" is affecting your work? Because that'd be way out of line and I am sure in Australia you'd have recourse to laws that protect you.
    2. If you being "unfit" affects your work… also see above.
    3. How you commute to and from work — as long as you are on time — is none of his damn business.

    Perhaps he thought there was a bit of a delay you getting back to the office yesterday? ;)

    "Bosses" can be like that… or so I hear.
    Best decision I ever made when I was 28. To never again have a "boss".
    *shudder*
     
  4. toolbox thread starter macrumors 68020

    toolbox

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2007
    Location:
    Australia (WA)
    #4
    He has known about my disability from day one. I have been there 6 years. Most of the work i do remotely, i then have a offsider that i send on side to do the work if i can't fix it remotely

    My Fitness has nothing to do with work - i was speechless

    I am on time every day. I start work at 8, i am at work by 7:40am.
     
  5. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2002
    Location:
    Location Location Location
    #5
    Exactly. How you get to and from work is none of his business.....not unless you're frequently late and you can't make appointments.

    If you explained that you and your parents have similar schedules, and that this is simply convenient and not due to your disability, then he should back off and watch what he says.
     
  6. toolbox thread starter macrumors 68020

    toolbox

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2007
    Location:
    Australia (WA)
    #6
    I can guarantee u that i am never late for work, and do not take sick leave either. Unless i am bed ridden or in hospital i will drag my self to work and do my best at the time.

    My Mum starts work at 8am, she works like not even 2 minute drive from where i work it's on her way.

    She finishes at 5 so do i so there is no problem picking me up.
     
  7. arkitect macrumors 601

    arkitect

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2005
    Location:
    Bath, United Kingdom
    #7
    You don't have to justify yourself to us. ;)
    We accept your bona fides as a general good egg and hard working guy. :D

    But you do need to be making this very clear to you employer. Sooner rather than later…
    Simmering resentment in the work place is never a good thing.

    Perhaps he just has a very cack handed manner trying to help you?
     
  8. toolbox thread starter macrumors 68020

    toolbox

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2007
    Location:
    Australia (WA)
    #8
    yeah it seems that way, but i was really really speechless with what he said. I am going to talk with him friday i think and just ask him why he felt the need to have to tell me what he did.

    There may be more too it i don't no. Would like to know
     
  9. XNine macrumors 68040

    XNine

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2005
    Location:
    Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?
    #9
    Tell the prick to shut his mouth, and if he ever utters a word about your disability again tell him you'll contact a labor relations lawyer, and sue him and his business into the ground.

    What a bitch your boss is.
     
  10. GoCubsGo macrumors Nehalem

    GoCubsGo

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2005
    #10
    I would not approach him, I'd approach Human Resources and if you have any type of representation with your employment like a Union I would also contact them. He stepped out of line and needs help getting back.
     
  11. angelneo macrumors 68000

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2004
    Location:
    afk
    #11
    Did he in anyway tell you that you are not performing in your work adequately due to the reason you stated? Or is this just a talk in life lesson? Don't get so worked up, just brush it off for now. If he keeps bugging you or tried to equate this to your work performance, then you might want to take this up higher.

    EDIT: Personally, if he did not relate this to your work performance, I can see this as him trying to be "helpful". As a friend, I could certainly see the idea of getting fit and more independence as an advice. But I'm not there, so I can't really judge the way he carry this to you.
     
  12. ucfgrad93 macrumors P6

    ucfgrad93

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2007
    Location:
    Colorado
    #12
    Agreed. This definitely seems like the right approach to me.
     
  13. -aggie- macrumors P6

    -aggie-

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2009
    Location:
    Where bunnies are welcome.
    #13
    Here in the U.S. your boss would be violating the Employees with Disabilities Act. Does Australia have such protections? Yours is one of the worst cases I've heard, since how you get to work is your business only.
     
  14. GoCubsGo macrumors Nehalem

    GoCubsGo

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2005
    #14
    Leaving it alone means that it can happen again to the OP or others.
    I also read unfit as unfit to do a job not unfit as in physically. My bad. My former boss bitches about being fat constantly to me and then talks about how she doesn't know how people get fat. We've never seen each other face to face and it is that simple reason why I've put off going to corporate. People like the OP's boss need to be let go.
     
  15. arkitect macrumors 601

    arkitect

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2005
    Location:
    Bath, United Kingdom
    #15
    All true… but I have a feeling (I may be wrong) that this might be a relatively small outfit where the "boss" could be HR and final arbiter.

    Either way. OP needs to open his mouth and talk. Needs no thinking about.
     
  16. barkomatic macrumors 68040

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2008
    Location:
    Manhattan
    #16
    It's not appropriate for a boss to give an employee a "life lesson". Especially considering that there was no point to what he was telling him--except to demoralize--which may have been the intent. The conversation should always be limited to work performance, end of story.
     
  17. Iscariot macrumors 68030

    Iscariot

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Toronteazy
    #17
    I could be wrong about this, but as he's been your boss for so long, maybe he believed he was giving you some fatherly advice?
     
  18. Rodimus Prime macrumors G4

    Rodimus Prime

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2006
    #18
    It can be a long list of things on why. One is business is hurting and he is trying to get you to quit so he does not have to lay some one off. He just fried his ablitity to lay you off because you can sue and win.

    I would go to HR very ASAP and bring it up with them and it will get noted in your file making protecting you even more. If some one should be laid off it should be your boss.

    Either way I would go straight to HR about this and if you are part of a union contact them. Oh and be prepared to go to a lawyer if it does not get fixed ASAP.
     
  19. Schtumple macrumors 601

    Schtumple

    Joined:
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    Location:
    benkadams.com
    #19
    Another vote for going to HR, his words are utterly unacceptable and totally unjust.
     
  20. toolbox thread starter macrumors 68020

    toolbox

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2007
    Location:
    Australia (WA)
    #20
    Thank you guys for your responces.


    Personally i don't no why has bought this little chat on. That same day i was out all day and i missed a managers meeting. So he did what he does normally tells me what i missed.

    But before any of that he had to lay all this out there about my "fitness" eye problems and how it must cause my parents to be inconvenienced to drop me to and from work.

    Again that is because mum and i start at the same time, and at the same time and our place of work is 2 minutes drive apart. Hell i even give mum the occasional money for fuel when she needs it.

    I appreciate my parents alot and what they do for me. But my opinion how i get to and from work is none of anyones business as long as the work is done at the end of the day

    I am going to request a meeting with him Friday. I would like to know what has bought this on. If it is something that is upsetting him / my work is lacking what ever i want to know so i can fix it.

    Thanks guys will keep you posted
     
  21. Iscariot macrumors 68030

    Iscariot

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2007
    Location:
    Toronteazy
    #21
    http://www.ehow.com/how_2161005_shiv-out-toothbrush.html

    Be prepared, just in case.
     
  22. Consultant macrumors G5

    Consultant

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2007
    #22
    It's actually illegal to say something like that without substance. To get a paper trail, just write an email back, and said something like this:

    I want to clarify the conversation you had with me [at time]

    You mentioned xyz

    I am wondering if you can clarify how that affects my ability to work?
     
  23. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2002
    Location:
    Location Location Location
    #23
    If this nitwit still believes that you're too dependent after your meeting, visit human resources and complain. That way, there's paper evidence that you've complained, and a better chance that you can fight back if you were suddenly let go.

    Otherwise, all you had was a personal meeting that nobody knew about, and that's not good enough.
     
  24. 63dot macrumors 603

    63dot

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2006
    Location:
    norcal
    #24
    I don't know Aussie Common Law, but if this was in America and this issue makes it his cause to fire you, then I would say sue the bastard and the horse he rode in on, or f-ink kangaroo. These types of cases make me wet.:D
     
  25. Huntn Suspended

    Huntn

    Joined:
    May 5, 2008
    Location:
    The Misty Mountains
    #25
    In the U.S.A. as I imagine in Australia there are laws that prevent discrimination based on disabilities. In the U.S. the government will become your advocate if discrimination is based on religion, race, sex, disability. I am no expert but I would check with your local government. I imagine an employer would have to demonstrate you are incompetent in your job. If he can't do this, he might get himself in trouble.

    The other problem is the work environment- when a situation like this develops, in the long run it can become uncomfortable to keep working for an ******.
     

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