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ability to stalk your child
- Thread starter cpit
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Maybe you should just have a heart-to-heart and explain that you would like to be more independent? As long as you are reasonable and rational about it you can probably do it.
Beyond trying to convince your parents to remove this feature. Giving them reasons of the detrimental effects they are causing you. All you can do is wait until you are 18 and move out.
You said you could pay half for a 50K a year university. Instead go to a good state university and pay it all yourself. The only way you can truly leave the rule of your parents is to be economically independent.
If you want to test if they are only tracking you for emergency uses. Go to places you are allowed but always tell your parents you are somewhere else. If they ever call you on it. Then you have caught them in the act of using the tracking under false pretenses. Though I do not know your parents so could not say whether or not this is advisable.
Thats why you pay cash for a pay as you go cell phone with no ID check.
You said you could pay half for a 50K a year university. Instead go to a good state university and pay it all yourself. The only way you can truly leave the rule of your parents is to be economically independent.
If you want to test if they are only tracking you for emergency uses. Go to places you are allowed but always tell your parents you are somewhere else. If they ever call you on it. Then you have caught them in the act of using the tracking under false pretenses. Though I do not know your parents so could not say whether or not this is advisable.
Thats why you pay cash for a pay as you go cell phone with no ID check.
Have u ever watched the Tales of mere existence videos on youtube? the one about aging and old people.
Wow! Those are awesome! I never saw them before. I'm not quite sure how they relate to the topic at hand, but still, thanks for hipping me to these!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4P785j15Tzk
Why not turn this into a hilarious practical joke? First, drive to a really bad part of town and stop for 10 minutes. Then after a while, begin driving erratically and abruptly stop at the base of a tree. Then run as fast as you can in a random direction. Stop. Walk slowly back to your car and drive to the police station. Stay there for a while and then run back to your car and drive for the border.
Well, there's not a lot of girls who are rebuilding computers with their dads. There's not a lot of boys, either but that demographic does tend to skew a certain way.
As I've already said, I think the tracking is a little beyond the pale. However, the reasons for why I would conceivably want to track my hypothetical son would be different from why I'd want to track my hypothetical daughter. I'd find the reasons for tracking the girl a little more compelling simply because I know what 16 year old boys are like around girls.
But yeah, it's remarkable how much the equation changes between guys and girls, isn't it?
Maybe you've lost this battle already. Maybe you haven't. Seems to me from past posts that your parents are alright. At some point in your life, you'll learn that sometimes in cases like these, pushing the point doesn't get you nearly as far as presenting the idea and letting them come to the correct conclusion on their own. Let it drop and leave it alone for now and bring up the idea again when they're more receptive.
You'll still probably end up like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmecyCCdknk&feature=channel
I'm in my 30s and I'm still having this conversation with my mother. On the phone.
Not trying to be arrogant here, just giving full disclosure. I'm a Licensed Professional Counselor with a masters degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. I've spent over 10 year working specifically with troubled teens and families of all types in all settings. So, respectfully and with humility, I'm going to play the expert card. Boo-Yah
Cpit, it seems we have established that you are a mature, well adjusted, respectful, and responsible young lady. For that I applaud you. However, please recognize that while a lot of the credit for this belongs to you, a part of it also belongs to your parents. The way they have raised you and the investments they have made in you have contributed greatly to who you are, how you think, and how you act.
In answer to your question I do not find what your parents are doing nor any parents being involved in the lives of their children to be creepy or unnecessary. The fact that they care about what is going on in your life and are concerned about your safety (where you are, what you are doing, and who you are with) is a good thing. It might feel overbearing or like an invasion of privacy, but in truth it is not. It's actually good parenting.
There's been varying responses to your question and all of us are working off of limited information to form our opinions. However, everyone must remember that we can't have it both ways. Some are assuming your parent's are overbearing, borderline abusive, and stifling your growth as an individual. Others are assuming that you are a whining teenager who needs to just get over it and understand that as long as your parents pay the bills....
The key is finding a balance. Being both a teenager and a parent are tough. You're trying to learn how to be on your own and they are trying to prepare you the best way they know how. If you are as responsible as you seem, then I'm sure your parents not only know this fact, but are proud of it as well. Which means, I highly doubt they spend all day "tracking your every movement to catch you doing something you shouldn't be doing." In fact, it seems like you have quite a bit of freedom and it sounds more like this is a safety tool that if needed is available.
Don't let this bother you. From the different posts you've made since joining it seems like you've got a pretty good family and a pretty good life. Be thankful for what you have and recognize that these are growing pains everyone goes through. Best of luck and let me know if I can help in any other way.
For those of you on the extreme sides of this debate that disagree with me. Bring it!
Cpit, it seems we have established that you are a mature, well adjusted, respectful, and responsible young lady. For that I applaud you. However, please recognize that while a lot of the credit for this belongs to you, a part of it also belongs to your parents. The way they have raised you and the investments they have made in you have contributed greatly to who you are, how you think, and how you act.
In answer to your question I do not find what your parents are doing nor any parents being involved in the lives of their children to be creepy or unnecessary. The fact that they care about what is going on in your life and are concerned about your safety (where you are, what you are doing, and who you are with) is a good thing. It might feel overbearing or like an invasion of privacy, but in truth it is not. It's actually good parenting.
There's been varying responses to your question and all of us are working off of limited information to form our opinions. However, everyone must remember that we can't have it both ways. Some are assuming your parent's are overbearing, borderline abusive, and stifling your growth as an individual. Others are assuming that you are a whining teenager who needs to just get over it and understand that as long as your parents pay the bills....
The key is finding a balance. Being both a teenager and a parent are tough. You're trying to learn how to be on your own and they are trying to prepare you the best way they know how. If you are as responsible as you seem, then I'm sure your parents not only know this fact, but are proud of it as well. Which means, I highly doubt they spend all day "tracking your every movement to catch you doing something you shouldn't be doing." In fact, it seems like you have quite a bit of freedom and it sounds more like this is a safety tool that if needed is available.
Don't let this bother you. From the different posts you've made since joining it seems like you've got a pretty good family and a pretty good life. Be thankful for what you have and recognize that these are growing pains everyone goes through. Best of luck and let me know if I can help in any other way.
For those of you on the extreme sides of this debate that disagree with me. Bring it!
I have always celebrated my independence, both as a child and as an adult.
There are usually very simple ways to avoid ensnarement that don't necessitate melodramatic confrontation.
In the case you described, the obvious solution to me is to either turn off the phone when you're not using it, or to stop using it entirely. They can't *make* you use their free phone. Yes, other people might say that you should be grateful that you've been given a phone, and they're right. However, if you feel that it violates your space, then don't use it. Done deal.
Everything's a decision. Even things you might not consider a choice.
Just my 2 cents.
There are usually very simple ways to avoid ensnarement that don't necessitate melodramatic confrontation.
In the case you described, the obvious solution to me is to either turn off the phone when you're not using it, or to stop using it entirely. They can't *make* you use their free phone. Yes, other people might say that you should be grateful that you've been given a phone, and they're right. However, if you feel that it violates your space, then don't use it. Done deal.
Everything's a decision. Even things you might not consider a choice.
Just my 2 cents.
Absolutely agree. It's a shame that people are taking a simplistic 'they pay for it get over it' attitude. How far could you take that argument? Food? Shelter? Paying for or being named on the contract isn't justification, it's side-stepping the question.
Children/adolescents need secrets. It's part of forming their identity. I think the OP has a perfectly valid concern, and was wise to raise it with her parents. They may have said one thing to her face, but hopefully when she walked away they had a chat with each other about it. I wouldn't say it's creepy, because I don't know them, sounds more like they're pre-occupied by the ever-decreasing stranger danger. I'd be highly surprised if they spend their time 'testing' how truthful the OP is when she says she's going to Kate's house to do homework, but they saw that blindingly obvious tell-tale 'haha I'm actually not and you're believing me' look. More likely they'll let those slide, and it's more 'oh my god she said she'd be home 7 hours ago and isn't picking up lets check the phone thing because we're worried about the safety of our daughter'.
I think that's excellent. However, I'd say it's more important to learn the principles behind money (e.g. loan interest, using leverage, period payments etc.). I've no doubt you've learnt/are learning these, I'm simply saying that when your parents decided to have you they implicitly agreed to certain things (e.g. to feed you, educate you etc.) so I hope you don't weight yourself down with too much burden. Enjoy college.
I fully agree, but she has for years. Don't waste your time calling it out - some people are just oppositional/defiant by nature. Black = white, unless that's what you're saying too
.AppleMatt
lol no, children do NOT have a right to privacy from their parents
stop spreading false facts
Have fun explaining to your children why you insist on going EVERYWHERE with them, including into the toilet.
That would depend on the law of the land, wouldn't it?
Presuming we're talking about US law, then no. But then it would depend on whether or not you believed in natural rights or social contracts. Didn't a bunch of guys a little over two centuries ago start a revolution on this continent that there are certain inalienable rights?
It's obvious to me that Badandy wasn't talking about The Law and was rather speaking to general person-hood and human experience.
Even if you don't see it that way and felt a need to correct him, why be such a jerk about it?
i wasnt being a jerk at all
kids shouldnt be mad if thier parents want to keep an eye on them. its a good thing
too many kids think its illegal to be spied on by their parents.
I love that idea.
I pay a good amount of the bill and paid for the iPhone hardware in my deal. Rogers currently doesn't offer that kind of service.
I generally agree with AppleMatt. The law might say that children don't have the right to privacy, but unless they've generally been a problem child, they at least, IMO, deserve some privacy.
Mom/Dad's phones have an option for the GPS chip to turn it to e911 only. But if you really do not want them tracking you get a prepaid phone with no tracking support. Pay for the cards with cash.
The time that he wants his location to be tracked is when he is kidnapped, but the opressor will have ensured that the phone cannot be used for tracking....
sounds like a good plan to me.... :/