You and your wife both made the decision to install the Tile app. Therefore, you chose to be tracked in this manner, even if in your example you slipped a Tile into her car. Shame on her, I guess. But the point is, you have to have the Tile app. Throw a Tile into her car without her having the app, and it's basically useless.
But that's not what we're talking about here with Apple Tags. You even correctly point out that Apple has a far larger ecosystem, and so is able to leverage that for extreme accuracy and ease of use. Basically, anyone who has an iPhone. And that wouldn't necessarily require having an app. I'm not sure if you're being intentionally disingenuous (it sounds to me like you're mocking the situation), but it's a legitimate concern, no matter how funny or smug you want to be about it.
www.androidcentral.com