An Inside Look at Apple's Genius Training Manual

[iLuvMyMacToo]

I have yet to enter an Apple store that didn't make me hate humanity.
Every one I've been to is full of the snottiest pricks. The apple store is successful because of its excellent layout and of course the apple products, but they have a serious inability to hire intelligent people who aren't just bearded hipster tools

Agreed. They hire them because they're younger so therefore cheaper and because they want to convey a certain image of catering to a similar generation

I'm surprised such a book exists because if it does they either don't know how to read here in Australia or simply don't care. My guess is the latter.

 

[skillbot]

This sort of thing has been going on for a while.

I worked at McDonald's in 1980 and we had forbidden words too. Off the top of my head I remember that we couldn't use "small" wrt food items. It was Regular, Medium and Large. We used a "towel" to clean things, not a "rag."

A friend worked at Sea World in the late 80's. Forbidden words included: kill (they used feed or something), capture, tank (they used enclosure) and a bunch more.

 

[tjb1]

strange that apple gets inspired or even copies another companies techniques.

Not everything can be original...who did your parents copy your name from?

 

[Lark.Landon]

Same training all phone tech advisors get too. Same manual and everything.

 

[skippymac]

I've always had very different experiences in the apple store, some geniuses and staff in general are very nice while others are quietly condescending... and some not even quietly. For me the nice staff seem to generally coincide with people selling me something and the condescending those fixing or giving me a one to one (which I got a free 1 year membership for so wasn't that bothered). I do however think this was just the general personality of the people, not that they had been instructed to be nicer to people they were selling to. The guy teaching me to use aperture in particular was an arrogant tool.

 

[mjaco002]

Samsung start your copying.

 

[phonitron]

Just like Orwell's '1984' Newspeak
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newspeak

That's why, under Apple, 2012 is more like '1984'...the irony !!

Exactly what I was going to say... I couldn't agree more. When I had one of the store supervisors give me 'feedback' as a customer (in front of other customers I should add), I was far from happy. The guy embarrassed himself with his limited newspeak vocabulary, and his behaviour was reported through the relevant channels. My outcome was very favourable in the end but I shouldn't have had to complain in the first place!

Anyway, this newspeak practise is very common in certain types of employment, especially call centres.

 

[nozebleed]

wow ive had tech manuals for years now, i didnt think this was that big a deal

 

[woodbine]

is this so wrong?

now all I want to do is go in my nearest Apple Store and see how many 'forbidden' words I can get the staff to utter......I'll be back with the results

 

[sillypooh]

Here's a good question for you:

Are some Apple rumor sites funded by Apple competitors?

If not, this sounds like a good idea.
This is the type of confidential documents, in the hands of competitors, that essentially constitutes strategic intelligence. Stuff that competitors would pay for.

Just a thought.

 

[TheRainKing]

I'm interested to what comes after "cheaper than..."

One of their other products.

 

[numlock]

I think it's ok in this case because:

1. It's really not possible to patent customer service procedures.
2. Apple isn't causing the Ritz-Carlton to lose revenue.

…unlike some recent to-do that was all over the tech scene.

im not talking about patents or legalities. im talking about copying or getting inspired by others which apple does a lot and so many people seem to have forgotten.

but in this case it seems apple took something that ritz carlton worked on for years and used that as a base without all the brainstorming and trial and error. then of course apple has built upon that.

and to be clear i dont find anything in that sense wrong with it.

 

[Mindcrime]

Some of those "forbidden words" are actually tech writing tropes. For example, we never say the system "freezes" because it's non-technical slang and, this is more important, it's one of thoses words that doesn't translate across 56 languages well.

While I have never seen such style guidelines applied to in-store personnel, I guess it does make a kind of twisted sense. The Genius Bar are 1st level support, so they're not being trained as sales associates as much as support personnel. The support folk all need to be on the same page, language-wise, because when they do the escalation reports and kick an "issue" up the chain to 2nd level support or 3rd level, people in other countries may be seeing it.

I work at HP in 3rd level support, which is where my perspective comes from. Not saying Apple does it this way, but it makes a little sense.

 

[Flunkyturtle]

A genius walks into a bar...

Wait what.

 

[bawbac]

Customer: My 1yr old iMac is locked up & I can't reset.
Genius: Looks like you are out of warranty. Your iMac has had a good life. Please buy another.

 

[gregwyattjr]

"Use 'revolutionary' instead of 'improvement.'"

 

[thekev]

I get why people find this weird when it's pointed out. The real issue is what they do, not what they're allowed to say. These things are pointed at, but there are likely plenty of internal policies that would appear to be weird to casual observers when presented in an article.

 

[jaysen]

I see no mention of "spinning beach ball of death" under avoid or do not use, so I assume geniuses are free to use that.

hahah

 

[Swordylove]

This looks fun.

 

[NT1440]

I take it no one who is screaming indoctrination has actually worked in retail?

The entire retail paradigm hinges on robot like customer interactions.

 

[sazivad]

I'm talking about copying or getting inspired by others, which Apple does a lot and so many people seem to have forgotten.

In the words of Steve himself: "Good artists copy, great artists steal".

 

[bizzle]

As an ex-Apple Retail Employee and former Genius, I can tell you 100% that this garbage is on the top of the list of many reasons why Apple employees are completely miserable behind the scenes. It's completely mind-numbering to work in a place where everything is scripted and any variation from the script is dealt with in a forceful manner.

Fearless Feedback, or F2 as it's called in many stores, has to be the biggest crock of passive aggressive ******** ever laid upon man. Except for the few people who drink the "Apple Juice" as I like to call it, no one can tolerate it. As the article says, it makes you want to punch someone in the face. It's typically presented over the must mundane and petty non-sense, such as saying the word "unfortunately", which is also on the list of banned words.

"Assume positive intent" also is up their on the list of mindless psychobabble.

I remember I was reprimanded for telling a customer, who just had his logic board replaced under warranty that it is completely impossible for an ethernet port to work as a modem. The guy would jam a phone cord in and he managed to wreck the ethernet port doing it. It was damage, and we covered it. He picked up his computer and returned the next day saying it still doesn't work. He swore it worked before. I told him it was impossible and after the customer complained to the manager on duty that I was not helpful and "made him feel like an idiot" , I was told by my manager the following:

"Maybe it did work before, you don't know"

I do know it didn't work because I know a thing or two about computers. Fact is, the guy was an idiot. I didn't flat out call him one to his face, but truth be told, the man was an idiot. We battled management constantly for telling people the truth about technology, their computer and their current situation.

Apple, with their handholding mentality, does nothing but further drive the pussification of American with it's politically correct, passive aggressive double speak. Say what you mean and grow a pair. Genius J needs a shower and smells like ****.

 

[justlovingit]

So where do we get our copy of this manual?

Might help to learn to count-argue with the so called geniuses

Go Ahead. Wont make our jobs any less frustrating.

By the way, its pretty easy to figure out when someone is feeding us the same old scripted arguments and complaints you see online.

 

[jasomill]

My battery issue in Mountain Lion is becoming a serious situation since the condition seems to be getting worse.

(Of course Apple does not respond to my repeated emails about this... )

Have you opened a case with AppleCare and/or filed a bu...an "issue" report?

 

[cosmichobo]

Apple have been avoiding using the words bomb/crash/hang since at least 2006... when such words would have been very useful to accurate describe the issues with the bad-cap eMacs...

Unfortunately their decision to avoid these words meant that people with bombing, crashing, hanging eMacs had no idea that the Repair Program implemented for these computers even existed...

If I found myself talking to a "Genius", reporting such an issue, and they kept changing my words, I think I'd quickly become rather irate... No sorry... I'd stop responding in a positive manner.