Mines got a purpose (digital music workstation). Pick one and do something with it. Of course they are not stellar at internet browsing... I found a ‘broken’ macpro 1.1 at the recycling center burried under trash that I bought for 20$us that is now my server. If you search you’l find something cheap to have a lot of fun with.
I dont want to be too personal, but I saw you struggle with depression. I was in that hell hole for 6 years a long time ago. I understand at one point, you loose faith, friends, hope, you give up your hobby and everything get destroyed.
Time work wonder but you have to stay alive to withness it

Try to enjoy the little things. Seeking help and get medication is not a magical trick. Its you that have to climb out of the hole. I made it without help. I’m sure you can.