App Store Director Revealed to Be Former Fart App Developer

[firewood]

This appears to be the type of job that nobody would want.

10,000 apps land on your desk every day, 1% interesting, but up to 80% cr*p.

One one hand, you get vitriolic hate mail from devs when their app isn't in the App store 23 seconds after submission. If they unblock your Faraday cage firewall, any communication you have with a dev must be incredibly polite, or the Customer Service team will ding you on your review.

On the other hand, if you accept a bad app (non functional, misleading, malware, porn, unapproved-API use, backdoor, a zillion secret rules, anything else that Steve doesn't like), they throw you down an elevator shaft, followed by a bunch of shark-lawyer-hybrids to feast on your remains. Or something like that...

Who here wants to apply?

 

[Jeremy1026]

Calling him a developer for those app is suspect reporting.

 

[Mike Teezie]

My dream is to work for Apple, helping to develop OS X or iOS.

This makes me like my chances.

In an interview, I can always say, "I never developed fart or pissing apps."

 

[Nuvi]

Then sell yourself. It does help to have contacts who will endorse you as well.

Even if they stink?

 

[reden]

This is all like a soap opera and talking about the characters and what they do on their daily lives. Soon there will be a TMZ exclusively for Apple and its employees.

 

[firewood]

One random hypothesis:

If I were a QA manager, I might submit a bunch of apps that were right near the border of acceptability, on both sides, to test the review process. For all we know, these were the worse of the accepted ones, and he could have had some apps even worse than these rejected.

After the process testing, I wouldn't leave the apps available for sale though...

 

[MarximusMG]

It wouldn't be that big of a deal if Apple didn't make such a point to stand out as a "holier than thou" company.

Precisely. This is a point that many on this forum fail to understand. When things are "blown out of proportion" regarding Apple, from things such as this to Antennagate to fill-in-the-blank, it's often merited, in my opinion. Apple displays each product/service they provide as the best of the best. Over the years, they have built themselves up to reach the god-like status that they now enjoy. So when hiccups come along, is it any wonder that the customers react the way they do?

 

[Dooger]

This whole thread is lame

Not only should this guy be canned for conflict of interest, he should be canned for horrifically-designed apps.

Hey Phillip, there's a better place for crappy apps like yours: Android.

Hey JingoBoy, why's the Android app store a better place for crappy apps? Seems to me that Apple has the lion's share of them so far.

Former Airborne Recording Technician in Emission Resonance

Dude, how long did it take to type this jibberish? Initials of random words spell out something naughty!!11!!??!!. Epic hilari-fail.

 

[Hankus]

It's about time the fart/poot/wiz subset had representation at Apple.

 

[eawmp1]

1) If he divests himself from his development company, confl;ict of interest gone.
2) He does have experience dealing with the App Store. Perhaps he will be more developer-friendly.
3) Hopefully blowing smoke out of his a&& is limited to his apps and not part of his management strategy (one could argue Apple could use less a&& smoke blowing than they've had in the past year).

 

[Ryanalogy]

Awesome. Just awesome.

 

[iPhoneFour]

humor? uhhhh nope

re: " low-brow fart and urination humor"

More like evidence of a full-on raging hard-on feces and urination fetish. But hey - it's the Bay Area - fart in his face to watch him orgasm on your next Caltrain commute.

 

[BJB Productions]

Stay classy, Apple.

made me laugh.

 

[kas23]

Calling him a developer for those app is suspect reporting.

True.

But he is the person who profits from the sales of these apps and he is also the director of people who approve apps for sale in the App Store. That is very, very suspect. Suppose if he decided to place his apps into the App Store a fe days ahead of all the other piss, poop, and fart apps?

 

[SBlue1]

this is the best part!

Since the publication of Wired's article, Shoemaker has deleted his Twitter accounts and updated his LinkedIn page to remove mention of his connection to GrayNoodle and the apps in question.

like the internet forgets! he should know better.

oh and now we know why there are 200+ fart apps in the app-store. this guy is setting the standards, and his standards are so low, you could not do a limbo dance underneeth.

poor apple.

 

[SBlue1]

Calling him a developer for those app is suspect reporting.

maybe he did the artwork...

 

[markcres]

What a shyster !

 

[kntgsp]

From the Gawker article:

More to the point, it could also lead people to wonder if it's not hypocritical for Apple to repeatedly insinuate that merely allowing adults to look at porn through specialized apps on its tablet and phone-sized computers is somehow immoral, corrupting and intrinsically harmful to families — given that the very Apple employee deemed moral, incorruptible and otherwise trustworthy enough to gatekeep said apps was publicly subscribed to 16 escort and porn star Twitter feeds, at minimum.

EXACTLY. Christ, I knew the archaic and arbitrary approval of the App Store was bad, but hell

Give us the option to check a box in settings that allows non App Store applications to be installed. Restrict it with a password so parents don't flip out with "think of the children" and so businesses can keep dumb employees from screwing with it.

 

[RTee]

Does this mean that we'll start to see the approval of even crappier apps?

 

[Digital Dude]

Apparently the boys n’ girls at MacRumors are bored today.

 

[Hiutale]

No wonder

Now I begin to understand why nobody listens to the needs of developers at Apple. If the App Store is run by someone who makes those kind of apps, they have no idea about the needs of real developers who make high-quality apps.

I still cannot believe this. And I cannot get those apps out of my mind. When I think about Apple, I think about a farting panda. This will look good in an Android fullpage ad in New York Times or Wall Street Journal. Apple is serious about business, they have experts like the fine gentleman who made this app...

 

[JAT]

It wouldn't be that big of a deal if Apple didn't make such a point to stand out as a "holier than thou" company.

So...they are supposed to hire only people that never worked in the field, before? That's a great business plan.

As for the issue of whether he is objective enough for app approval, that is a matter for his boss. Presumably it has come up.

 

[bwillwall]

lmao

cmon ppl he can be funny and serious dont be so stuborn

 

[reden]

Now I begin to understand why nobody listens to the needs of developers at Apple. If the App Store is run by someone who makes those kind of apps, they have no idea about the needs of real developers who make high-quality apps.

I still cannot believe this. And I cannot get those apps out of my mind. When I think about Apple, I think about a farting panda. This will look good in an Android fullpage ad in New York Times or Wall Street Journal. Apple is serious about business, they have experts like the fine gentleman who made this app...

Hahahahhahaahahhahaa, really? Oh nooooo, Apple people can't be human and put apps like this on the APP STORE. This is blasphemy! ROFL. Get a life man. These people don't work for you dude, they work for Apple, and they make products you happen to buy.

 

[DELLsFan]

I find the depiction of a Panda's ******* much more obscene than a nice pair of boobies!

I LOL'ed at this.