At Apple, we believe that our computers belong in the landfill after a few years of use,...
First of all, i understand your sarcasm (even your signature). But...
Apple machines are fare more recyclable than any non-apple laptop (at least what i know of), and i have a 17-inch MBP which serviced 4 times (yes graphics card 3 times and battery once [i need a new one soon again]) i love this machine, but the time passed on this "Old but not obsolete" machine
One more thing, why ppl does not whine about the Dell XPS laptop's soldered memory? oh wait it's nearly has the same price as a MBP, wow
Also every apple store on the world only using electricity from renewable sources.
Spend some time on this page and read what they do and how they do it and since when...read the PDFs as well
https://www.apple.com/uk/environment/
...and that our customers should just buy a new one instead of selling it or giving it to a less needy family member...
If a new OS version no longer supports your machine (like my 17-inch MBP) it will not cease to operate...and will not be waterproof with updates, too.
Where you can see a vendor which supports a 7 years old (or older like a Mac Pro with Metal capable GPU) machine with drivers and software updates? (probably Dell the only one who does more than 2-3 years)
Did your battery die? Time to buy a new computer. Oh you want the battery replaced? Too bad, we don't do that. Oh, you want someone else to replace the battery? Haha! Too bad, we've made that illegal.
Fortunately that will not apply to old machines (you still get batteries for them for a nice price), for the new ones apple replace them if you want to (or with the
'Exchange program') also you can buy the parts online from trusted sources, but you have to be techy to do it by yourself.
Because here at Apple, we believe you're our b*tch, and you do as we say. Now, go and buy the new MacBook Glue. It's an iPad with a keyboard, sort of. But for twice the price. And best of all? There is no way anyone can ever repair it. Not even us. Yep, the new MacBook Glue. It's made of mostly glue! Starting at only $1799 if you're okay with 8GB of RAM and 128GB of storage. It has one USB port. Shut up. It's rose gold.
While you are right and i have the same feelings, it is not that simple (probably Louis Rossmann has more experience on glued Apple devices and will disagree with me).
While it is bad for customer (can't do some DIY repair) it's good for them, i think they are planning to get all of these repairs done by only Apple (3rd party screens ceased to work on iPhone 5/5s), and with glue, they are saving space (yes no screws, bit more space, less manufacturing time, angry customer), but on the bright side, they are replacing the whole unit if it's under warranty and confident that not damaged by external forces (dropping down, used as a chopping table, put into dishwasher). And you can ask for "24 hour service" which means bring it Monday afternoon and you can pick it up early Tuesday morning, they have this and the Genius will tell you when this is possible.
I work where i have to go to the Apple store (3-4 times a week) to service iPads, iPhones, Macs and Genius guys/ladies at are generally try to solve your problem (and cool, kind and the ladies mostly hot if not gorgeous in the Apple Store where i usually go). (same as Dell when you call them and not chatting with ppl from India and god knows what country and copy-paste sections from user guide)
I can remember when they said we have to replace the whole unit, but it was free because Genius 'examined' and decided it is covered under warranty [while it wasn't obviously], i had a good talk before that with him.
Although in some case their hands are tied, but if you reach them nicely and with kindness they are one of the best, only once i had to call a Genius Manager (Genius guy was so nervous and failed in some many ways (turns out it was the guys very first day and i rained down hell on him) and then i apologised and told the Genius Manager that so sorry i had a long and exhausting bad day, he told me that next time just ask for him if i have to complicated problem with any Apple devices.
While i not agree what they do, but i can see their point too and usually when Apple planning something big, they are doing by small steps for something better. Like the new iPad Pro with USB Type C (finally) and FaceID works in any position (but not with the iPhone XS (Max)).
IMHO
I’m calling pro writer on this one. Or you’ve missed your calling.
Sarcasm with "pinch" of salt, but yea he talented i guess +1 for it.