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Many people with completely OK phones not experiencing ANY restarts started noticing significant performance hit after that BS update.

How do you know if those phones wouldn’t eventually experience shutdowns? You don’t.
 
Your points are exactly what frustrates me the most about what Apple is doing. I felt like my iPhone 6 was working great, and there was really no need to upgrade the hardware. iOS11 gets installed, and suddenly it's a laggy mess. I'm looking at my $1200 iPhone X, and I'm foreseeing a need to upgrade in 3 years, and I doubt Apple will make the iPhone at that time any less expensive. I can choose to stop updating the OS now, at the expense of security, features, and app compatibility. It's not as hard a pill to swallow when you have to upgrade a $600 phone every 3 years, but a phone twice that cost every 3 years makes my wallet weep.

And I'm typing this on my MacBook which is now 5 years old on High Sierra. I am afraid to jinx myself, but it's running relatively smoothly. I do cringe each time I hit the OS update button, expecting it to be the last time my Mac runs smoothly.
Ha ha! I've felt somewhat the same on some of your points (esp. the laptop update ...which is one reason I image my entire disk before I upgrade, I always want a way back to "yesterday").

I do know that this is not unique to Apple, in fact I'd say that Apple may be a bit better at maintaining support for older platforms than most vendors ...thats just my experience.
 
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