Your feelings are your feelings. I don't want to try to convince you to change your feelings. Incompatible accessories are a way of life and not something that is unique to Apple. That is the downside of proprietary accessories. An ecosystem is NOT for the customer's benefit... it is primarily for the company's.I’m not sure how you squared that circle. Suppose my iPad is not doing so well but I have an older pencil that’s doing great. Now I’m forced to buy two new products if I still want the pencil.
I think over the longer term this works out fine for people who either don’t have a pencil already, but it’s a bummer for those people who may have been wanting only one or the other in the near future. There’s also the spectre of additional products going down this path. The premise behind remaining in the Apple ecosystem is that products will retain cross-functionality for a long time and hence improve the life cycle of a purchase.
If it isn’t about bilking customers from their money, Apple should consider a trade-in for the pencils to show good faith.
If compatibility is important, then open standards or quasi-standards are the way to go. Some of Apple's competitors use quasi-standards like a Wacom stylus that are interchangeable across brands.