Yes, your second sentence is fine. No one said it was wrong. The first sentence is also fair because a drop in hiring means you are hiring less at your current/future rate. Both are used in the real world. The former is a public facing phrase, and the latter is direct.
Here is a snippet at how people interpret a reduction in hiring:
“The sources told Bloomberg that CEO
Tim Cook told employees about the slowdown a day after he sent a
letter to investors warning of lackluster sales, particularly in China. Cook has not yet decided which divisions would be affected by the hiring
drop-off, Bloomberg reported.”