Same here.The biggest one for me is that it has to work without any additional electronics in the house!
My wife already threatened to throw the HomePod mini out the window, because Siri started talking to her! She won't use the Home app on her iPhone and iPad to switch the lights on and off - that is what the light switch is for - I even bought an extra Philips Hue light switch for the bedroom, that is directly in front of her, when she walks in, but she still reaches along the wall to the "real" light switch every time (rented apartment, so I can't swap out the switches).
I can't use the remote app on my iPhone or iPad, because that is too confusing (the same was true when the TV came with 2 remotes, one had to be packed away in a drawer as a backup).
The only one that hasn't caused a problem was me using a programmable power socket to control the Christmas tree lights - this has now been transferred to a lamp in the hall that turns on in the evenings and early morning.
I'm the only one controlling all the smart lights. I bought only homekit compatible appliances so at least they show up in Home.
Most of the time the sync between apps (e.g the Hue app) is bad: you have duplication, resets, anything more complex than on/off like a scene is doomed to fail, it doesn't work if your wifi is flaky in a room and the phone decides to switch to cellular, ...
Throw in the mix a few light sensors and switches, an Alexa, a smart plug from another brand, and a few thermostat valves, each with their own app and view on how to manage these devices. They are all homekit compatible. Yet... it's just a mess.
The basic light switches are still the only ones used by anyone else in the familiy. My philips switches are either unresponsive because no one used them (they recharge by pressure) or collecting dust since they forgot their settings and I'm tired of resetting them.
The thermostat valves seem to work, but since I can't manage my heater the same way (whic has an external sensor the changes the heating curve I learned), they are just making fun noises in the middle of the night.
The light sensors have apparently evolved a mind of their own, switching lights on and off whenever they decide it's night even if the sun still shines bright. The motion sensors are on strike, or conspiring to make me hit my toe in the dark during a quick trip to the bathroom at night.
The smart plug has been disconnected, since I rewired everything. I don't care baout the electricity consumption anymore, the prices went so wild up and down that trying to rationalize my usage wasn't worth the headache.
If I forget to switch off the ambient TV lights when I go to bed or leave for work, they stay on all day since no one knows how to switch them off besides pulling the plug.
It's a sad situation. I'm thinking of throwing everything away.
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