So the Big Bad Steve Jobs has decided to go after Little Red Nick DePlume, condemnation to follow. I've been a reader of Think Secret and the general Mac rumor community for years, and, like a kid before Christmas, I delight in any peek I might get of what's coming. I don't know why I do this. I specifically pass up chances to peek at Christmas gifts for the same reason I don't cheat at games it just takes away the fun. It's probably because, until recently, rumors and speculation have been just that.
When I was a kid, there were these trees that grew around my neighborhood. They had these bundles of flower pods that were filled with this nasty pee-smelling liquid. We used to nip the tips and squirt them at each other, and referred to them as "piss-piss plants." Once, for whatever kid-logic reason, I decided to collect all the piss-piss juice in the neighborhood. I enlisted some other kids to help me, which collapsed when one of them actually brought me a beaker of pee. I was horrified.
Like the grinning toe-headed kid holding a beaker of his own urine, Nick dePlume has gone too far. All we wanted was a simulation of the truth, not the real thing. We've always known that somehow Steve Jobs would get on that stage and reveal something even better than our speculations, and in revealing Steve's hand two weeks early, dePlume has essentially stolen Christmas. When I think about what I and other Mac fans have lost, I sigh, but when I think about what Steve Jobs has lost, it's almost physically painful.
Imagine being Steve Jobs. Some 20 years ago you got screwed out of a company you helped build, then watched from the sidelines as that company had its best cow sold to some huckster for a box of magic beans. The cow was the look-and-feel of the Macintosh operating system, the huckster was Bill Gates, and the box of magic beans was the agreement to keep making Microsoft Office for Macintosh. This idiotic deal with the devil, which Apple tried and failed to get out of, changed the course of computer history.
Imagine being Steve Jobs. You came back to the company, stopped the bleeding, and began the long, steady task of rebuilding. Finally, after 7 long years, you're back to that cross-roads and you're ready to take the road less travelled. You've got their attention, you've got the $500 machine, and to top it all off, you've got a big middle finger to give to Redmond an office suite you might have well named "iCall your bluff."
Imagine being Steve Jobs. You're up on stage, all eyes are on you, all lenses are focused on you. You've got your revenge behind a black cloth. You've got your ultimate triumph, your "I can die now" moment, behind a coy "one more thing." You're ready for the cover of Time, the front page of the paper, the TV news. You're ready to let the world know you've come back and this time you're ready to fight.
Imagine being Steve Jobs. Everyone is yawning. Your triumph, your revenge, your "I can die now" moment is old news. Some ******* leaked it to a website, and it made its way from the rumor community to the fan community to the technical press to the mainstream press to Wall street. Everyone knows; they've known for two weeks. All the years of dreaming, driving, and fighting and it's not a bang, but a whimper.
Imagine being Steve Jobs. Really stop to imagine how much it must hurt, how you feel, and rightly so, that something has been stolen from you.