I once even got a post deleted/edited and a warning from the mods for posting a similar joke, in all caps and in like 48pt type, in the early Intel days… xD
[Edit: I can't seem to find it, perhaps because it was indeed deleted, but I think I at least answered the mods publicly, so maybe it was on AI or on the defunct ThinkSecret forum – also a dead giveaway on how long I've been here

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It would make sense for Apple to offer a regular, stupidly inexpensive and low-end Mac Mini (think something along the likes of an Intel NUC, except a bit more premium and at the magical sub-$500 pirice point of the original G4 Mini), a Mac Mini Pro (slightly more beefed up, but not necessarily a Xeon machine with ECC memory – I wouldn't bet against it having Core i5 processors at best and soldered-in LPDDR memory, I'm afraid – or upgradeable PCI-X storage – if any, as they are crazy enough to stick a 2.5'' SATA III hard drive in there again, maybe in a Fusion Drive config – or even a desktop-grade GPU – ha, you'll be lucky to get an M-class GPU as opposed to Intel Graphics on the low end), and the real deal, a larger Mac Pro “mini” of sorts (even though it may end up being larger and/or more squarish than the Trash Pro), with the whole n-core Xeon+full size ECC DIMM+desktop-class GPU treatment…
By this time, most Mac users should have already come to terms with the fact that for Apple “modularity” means external modularity. They will never go back to SATA III 3.5'' hard drives on the high end, and they won't likely go back to dual GPUs because of thermals. Most likely, you'll see a comeback of dual PCI-X flash drives controlled by a T2 chip just like in its AIO sibling, a conventional desktop GPU card slot – apart from the RAM slots, of which there should be many more than in the old model, that'd be as far as they would concede in terms of internal modularity/upgradeability, I'd reckon – and, if you're extremely lucky, an extra slot; that's still very unlikely, though, as Apple will keep the box minimalistic and encourage you to attach external boxes via the provided 6-8 Thunderbolt 3/USB-C 3.1 ports for anything that can be realistically upgraded that way.
I'm also guessing the combo S/PDIF+analog audio in and out won't go away just yet, and you'll hopefully see dual 10 Gbps Ethernet ports (at least a single one on the Mac Mini Pro model would be awesome, though, as it would put it on par with the iMac Pro and Mac Pro connectivity-wise and encourage some large or even small shops to standardize on the entire Pro range… Thunderbolt 3-to-10 Gbps Ethernet adapters are still fairly expensive, after all, and having it standard on the desktop machines could seal the deal).
Overall, the new Mac Pro will elicit a collective sigh of relief from all the pros who've been waiting for years now for a machine they can at least keep current, and will, conversely, be a massive disappointment for those who expect it to be a tower Mac Pro redux or, better yet, a PC box with some T-class chip(s) thrown in and an Apple logo slapped on.