Sweet tirade fella. Classic. I give it a 96.
Misdirected anger. Check.
Highly rational doomsday warning. ("My one bracelet out of hundreds of thousands produced is broken, so no one else should even think about buying one!") Check.
Throwing the baby out with the bath water. ("If the bracelet is defective, the whole watch is the worst and Tim Cook has a weird nose!") Check.
Dramatic hyperbolic rambling about non existent products. ("If the bracelet were made out of plutonium I'd be out millions! And dead!") Check.
Inability to get satisfaction because foot stomping jars brain and disrupts logic. ("Talking to one customer service rep for 10 days has to be the only way to solve this!") Check.
Requisite comparison to completely different product at a completely different price point. ("My 23 year old sun dial isn't broken, why is my incredibly complex state of the art watch THE WORST WATCH EVER MADE?") Check.
Bravo. Bravo sir.
32/100