What you need to do is wrap your first-gen iPad in aluminum foil when you're not using it. That way the gamma rays sent to it by Apple won't be able to penetrate the iPad's surface (specifically on the screen) and cause it to slow down. Be forewarned, Apple already knows about this defense tactic and is currently draining the world's aluminum supply by using it in all of their products. The only company that can still obtain aluminum for use in their tin foil is Reynolds Wrap. If you go to your local grocery store and see a man in a suit and a fedora hanging out by the Reynolds Wrap, get the hell out of there. He's one of them!