We were DINKs for 7.5 years after marriage, but recently had a baby. While he is ridiculously awesome (most of the time...an utter pain the ass the rest of the time 
), and I wouldn't give him up for anything, we both are "mourning" the loss of ultimate freedom. As freelancers, we were able to just take off whenever we wanted and do whatever we wanted pretty much any time. Now that she isn't working (we couldn't both keep working the way we were), we are SIKs. Hopefully not for long, though.
Now, we are of course tied down a little more. But one thing that we promised each other beforehand is that we would not let the kid consume our lives. We have friends who have never spent more than a couple of hours away from their children in five years, and will only leave them with family, because they are terrified of someone else's style influencing their kids. Our boy is less than three months old, and we've already left him with a babysitter around 8 times.
But having kids is definitely NOT for everyone. I have several friends who I could not imagine trying to raise children. They simply do not have the will or patience to deal with such a thing, or it's just simply not for them. And that's perfectly fine. In plenty of ways, I envy them and the fact that they are not nailed down by decades of responsibility and cost.
I was at lunch with a friend recently, and the woman doing the catering was asking about children, and he proudly said that he was not going to be having any. Her response was "What do you mean you're not? How could you NOT have children? Do you even know what that means?" He explained that the responsibility was simply not for him, and it was better that he didn't do it. Her response? "Well, FINE! You don't deserve children!!" Some people are militant about it!
This. Having children is not just some thing people do, like going to the store or ordering a new amazing cooking spray off a TV ad at 4am. It's a 24/7 responsibility for many years, and thousands of dollars a year. And it's not something you can easily blow off for a week. That is asking a lot from someone.
), and I wouldn't give him up for anything, we both are "mourning" the loss of ultimate freedom. As freelancers, we were able to just take off whenever we wanted and do whatever we wanted pretty much any time. Now that she isn't working (we couldn't both keep working the way we were), we are SIKs. Hopefully not for long, though.Now, we are of course tied down a little more. But one thing that we promised each other beforehand is that we would not let the kid consume our lives. We have friends who have never spent more than a couple of hours away from their children in five years, and will only leave them with family, because they are terrified of someone else's style influencing their kids. Our boy is less than three months old, and we've already left him with a babysitter around 8 times.
But having kids is definitely NOT for everyone. I have several friends who I could not imagine trying to raise children. They simply do not have the will or patience to deal with such a thing, or it's just simply not for them. And that's perfectly fine. In plenty of ways, I envy them and the fact that they are not nailed down by decades of responsibility and cost.
I was at lunch with a friend recently, and the woman doing the catering was asking about children, and he proudly said that he was not going to be having any. Her response was "What do you mean you're not? How could you NOT have children? Do you even know what that means?" He explained that the responsibility was simply not for him, and it was better that he didn't do it. Her response? "Well, FINE! You don't deserve children!!" Some people are militant about it!
This. Having children is not just some thing people do, like going to the store or ordering a new amazing cooking spray off a TV ad at 4am. It's a 24/7 responsibility for many years, and thousands of dollars a year. And it's not something you can easily blow off for a week. That is asking a lot from someone.
