Are you a recluse ?

glocke12

macrumors 6502a
Original poster
Jan 7, 2008
999
5
Just wondering if anyone else is as reclusive/anti-social or just as not well adjusted socially as me.

I really dont enjoy being around other people, except for short periods of time, or small groups of people. Parties, picinics, etc...bore the hell out of me. Id rather spend time alone reading or listening to music instead of doing any of that. I could go on, but Im sure you get the point. Just curious as to how many others like me out there. I think at times I also relate better to dogs than people...
 

gadgetgirl85

macrumors 68040
Mar 24, 2006
3,546
88
I am exactly the same way. I am very happy on my own doing my own thing. I enjoy spending time with my family as well as friends occasionally but for the most time I am on my own reading, computer etc.
 

furious

macrumors 65816
Aug 7, 2006
1,012
0
Australia
I find it hard to relate to most people. In fact i struggle. I cannot wait to move. Only 12 more months.
 

remmy

macrumors 6502a
Jul 1, 2007
649
0
I find it a bit strange, by myself I feel quite lonely, yet with a group sometimes I'm a bit bored. The only exception is a very close group of friends, but I even get bored of them if I seem them too much, strange.
 

Sideonecincy

macrumors 6502
Sep 29, 2003
421
0
Its nice to see there are other people who are like this out in the world. I enjoy going out from time to time, but I like to spend a majority of the time doing stuff on computer, listening to music or playing video games. I get asked alot what I do with my time and why I don't go out very much and feel I am a "loser" to most people...but I don't really care for the most part.

I have two dogs and I enjoy them more than most people. Just sometimes wish they could talk in a language I understand.
 

0098386

Suspended
Jan 18, 2005
21,552
2,886
I used to like working on my own and hanging out with smaller groups (or ideally just the girlfriend). Now I'm hitting 22 I want to work in a proper team now and get to know more people even though I'm in a job where I just work on my own, for myself. Funny how that works!
 

cristo

macrumors regular
Aug 16, 2008
117
0
There's a big difference between enjoying spending time alone, and being a recluse.
 

redwarrior

macrumors 603
Apr 7, 2008
5,562
3
in the Dawg house
I see judgment in everyone's eyes, although I think that is just my perception. I have never fit in anywhere. I have been very successful writing software and I think it is for that very reason that I enjoy it so much. I have connected with very few people in my life, and prefer to be alone most of the time. I most definitely see myself as a recluse.
 

devilot

Moderator emeritus
May 1, 2005
15,532
2
I can get along all right with people.
I don't like to be alone.

But it's unbelievably draining to be around others for long. :eek: Like, physically and psychologically. I'm always pooped after hanging out w/ others. I think I do best with no more than two other people around. But I definitely do not like to be alone all the time (which I am, poo).
 

Scepticalscribe

macrumors Sandy Bridge
Jul 29, 2008
46,562
31,267
The Far Horizon
Recluse is possibly too strong a term. Possibly. How about that one has a strong capacity - or preference - for one's own company, and one can find the excessive company of others draining? Or that one likes personal space (something increasingly invaded in our 24/7 world, bosses demanding mobile numbers, and so on) and have a considerable capacity for personal autonomy? And yes, the vapid concerns of large gatherings, can be boring and draining; especially if they are emotionally demanding as well. Anyway, it's nice to see a thread full of (not recluses) but discerning types, who choose how they can best interact with the rest of our sometimes difficult species.

Cheers and good luck fellow-travellers!
 

NC MacGuy

macrumors 603
Feb 9, 2005
6,225
0
The good side of the grass.
I've been told I am by more than I care to count. Just not a real people person and have mini to major panic attacks before social events. Once engaged, seem to do fine but hate it the whole time. I have to drink to relax and be socially acceptable. That little man in my head makes me want to say what I feel but over the years I've had to conform to the "norm", whatever that may be but I can say, it's not me untethered.
 

EricNau

Moderator emeritus
Apr 27, 2005
10,591
31
San Francisco, CA
No, I enjoy being around people very much, although I do appreciate my alone time as well. I guess you could say I prefer a balance.
 

me_94501

macrumors 65816
Jan 6, 2003
1,009
0
I enjoy being around friends and family, but I also enjoy spending a fair amount of time alone. On the other hand, I like to have someone else in the house. :eek:
 

Elven

macrumors 6502a
May 13, 2008
859
1
UK
While I enjoy socializing with some good friends, I also enjoy getting back to my desk, and reading the forums, and doing my own thing. I have found I am happier with my own company.
 

OutThere

macrumors 603
Dec 19, 2002
5,730
0
NYC
I'm kind of the opposite, in a way. I thrive on being with a group of people, the energy of a crowd, meeting new people. It gives me a buzz. I go through a sort of withdrawal when suddenly alone after being around people.

That's not to say I don't enjoy time alone, and I do (reading, movies, internet-ing), but it tends to be a stopgap between periods of socializing. Makes getting work done a bit of a challenge. :p

MacRumors is my fill-in in the summertime when I'm home from college and stuck in a town whose average citizen is 49 years old. I get a little stir crazy without other 18-25s to talk to. :eek:
 

PlaceofDis

macrumors Core
Jan 6, 2004
19,232
4
i enjoy socializing, but i'm a homebody. meaning i'd rather have friends over drinking here than out at a bar.

i don't like crowds or the anxiety that comes with going out. at least for me. maybe i have slight agoraphobia, but it does take me a bit to feel comfortable in "new" situations at times. its a hurdle i've been getting better at clearing everyday.

i'm also incredibly shy at first so that doesn't help. but once i warm up to someone... well yeah.. just the first bit takes a little out of me and then the walls come down a bit.
 

dmr727

macrumors G3
Dec 29, 2007
8,623
25
NYC
I enjoy socializing, and get lonely easily. But I also have to mix in areas of alone time. My wife's an airline pilot, so it works out well - I get my alone time while she's gone.
 

c-Row

macrumors 65816
Jan 10, 2006
1,194
1
Germany
I find it a bit strange, by myself I feel quite lonely, yet with a group sometimes I'm a bit bored. The only exception is a very close group of friends, but I even get bored of them if I seem them too much, strange.
That describes me best, I guess.

If I am at home alone, I am bored and want to get out of there, but once I am in a public place - say, a pub - I start thinking, "What the hell am I doing here anyway," get bored and want to go home again. Even if I stay there, I usually sit there on my own. It's not that I don't like being alone, it's the lack of choice that bothers me.
 

Iscariot

macrumors 68030
Aug 16, 2007
2,624
3
Toronteazy
Absolutely. I'm non-aggressive, but I have a tendency to bite when pressed against skin, usually a result of being tangled up. While many of my bites are minor and harmless, a small number of bites produce severe dermonecrotic lesions, severe systemic symptoms, including organ damage and although rarely, a systemic condition with occasional fatalities, usually in small children and those with a weak immune system. If bitten, you should apply an ice pack to control inflammation, aloe vera to soothe and help control the pain, and you should seek medical care. If I can be easily captured, I should be brought with you in a clear, tightly closed container.
 

glocke12

macrumors 6502a
Original poster
Jan 7, 2008
999
5
hmm...lots of interesting replies. A large part of it with me is that I like learning (even at the ripe old age of 40) and reading, so when I have free time I often try to use that to educate myself a little more.

Also, like someone else in this thread said, since we are pretty much a 24/7 society now, with constant streams of input (work, internet, tv, etc). I often find myself just wanting to "unplug", and spend a couple of days hiding out from the rest of the world (no going out, tv off, car in garage so people think I am not at home, etc..). It is very restful to be able to spend time like that (to me anyway), and is also mentally stimulating as I find it allows my mind to wander quite a bit.


I only mention the word "recluse" (which may be too strong), because I was comparing my lifestyle to that of many friends I have who feel the need to be around other people often.
 

Mord

macrumors G4
Aug 24, 2003
10,091
21
UK
I can't stand being alone though I'm definitely not extroverted, I can't stand group conversation as I end up just sitting watching people talk unable to enter the conversation. If I have someone to myself I'll chatter away happily but as soon as a third person enters the picture I'll just lock up.

I can't stand television, I find it an assault in my peace of mind, I prefer to cut myself off from popular culture as I find it's poisonous to my mind.