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Atheist "wedding"

ZiggyPastorius

ZiggyPastorius

macrumors 68040
Original poster
Sep 16, 2007
3,142
1
Berklee College of Music
Hey, everybody, just wanted to ask everyone for some possible ideas to help me think of stuff. Basically, my girlfriend and I are both atheist and as such, have no interest in a traditional Christian ceremony, especially not in a church. When we do finally decide to reap the tax benefits of a union, what could we do for our ceremonies? I've heard of people getting friends to wed them on beaches and stuff, but I wondered if anybody had some ideas.
 
Get married at the town hall and save all the money for a longer honeymoon so you can have some really top-notch godless sex. You know, the really good stuff only we atheists can have because we KNOW nobody is watching us...;)
 
Hahaha! Pasta factory or pirate ship! Awesome!

I think the town hall idea is a good one, much more government related, right? Then have a spiffy honeymoon and an off-the-hook reception!
 
Chundles said:
Get married at the town hall and save all the money for a longer honeymoon so you can have some really top-notch godless sex. You know, the really good stuff only we atheists can have because we KNOW nobody is watching us...;)
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Hear hear! That's what we did. Although we couldn't marry for free, since it
was a tuesday. (generally only monday mornings are free in the NL), we only had a short ceremony at the town hall, had a great dinner with close family and went of to Portugal. Hiking, dining and enjoying port.
 
Chundles said:
Get married at the town hall and save all the money for a longer honeymoon so you can have some really top-notch godless sex. You know, the really good stuff only we atheists can have because we KNOW nobody is watching us...;)
Click to expand...

Haha, this is probably the best idea I've heard yet, and the best worded yet :p

As for the Apple store comment, I'm not sure I could make her deal with that much Apple-ness :D I probably already put her through enough...

I'm sure she'll chime in this thread eventually.
 
Well, one of the things you can do is get one of your friends "ordained" online so that they can perform the ceremony for you. My sister and her husband went that route, and it was very nice. The person performing the ceremony actually had significant ties to the couple as opposed to a few meetings like many religious unions I have been to.

The other thing you can do is to stop pretending your wedding is any less significant or meaningful than a religious ceremony.
 
I never understood why atheists would like to get married, which is considered a religious event. Especially since you can have civil partnerships in place of "weddings" and naming days in place of Christenings. Something about having cakes and eating them. I'm not religious myself mind.

Chundles said:
Get married at the town hall and save all the money for a longer honeymoon so you can have some really top-notch godless sex. You know, the really good stuff only we atheists can have because we KNOW nobody is watching us...;)
Click to expand...

Actually at my girlfriends church (hardcore catholic, like), they're told that once you are married you may do as you please. Just don't do it before hand ;)
 
mactastic said:
Well, one of the things you can do is get one of your friends "ordained" online so that they can perform the ceremony for you. My sister and her husband went that route, and it was very nice. The person performing the ceremony actually had significant ties to the couple as opposed to a few meetings like many religious unions I have been to.

The other thing you can do is to stop pretending your wedding is any less significant or meaningful than a religious ceremony.
Click to expand...

I don't quite understand. I don't believe my union with my girlfriend is not going to be significant, but weddings and non-religious unions alike are not all that special. Sure, I want to make it something personal, but nothing in our relationship will change just because we get married. It would be just as significant with or without a marriage, religious or not.

raggedjimmi said:
I never understood why atheists would like to get married, which is considered a religious event. Especially since you can have civil partnerships in place of "weddings" and naming days in place of Christenings. Something about having cakes and eating them. I'm not religious myself mind.
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That was my thought. I may not have been entirely clear, but I generally use the word "union" rather than wedding to indicate I have no interest in the Christian traditions or titles, I simply want the "atheist equivalent" of a marriage with some cool ideas for ceremonies and stuff.

[snip]
 
raggedjimmi said:
Actually at my girlfriends church (hardcore catholic, like), they're told that once you are married you may do as you please. Just don't do it before hand ;)
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Well that's no fun, what if you get stuck with a dud root? That'd suck. And divorce is a sin? What if you get stuck with a violent dud root? That'd suck more.

Blergh, not worth the hassle.

Ooh! Get married on a mountain overlooking a spectacular view and revel in the majesty that is the Earth. Created by chance and happenstance and (in my opinion) more beautiful and amazing than if some all powerful deity had a hand in it.
 
raggedjimmi said:
I never understood why atheists would like to get married, which is considered a religious event. Especially since you can have civil partnerships in place of "weddings" and naming days in place of Christenings.
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You can't have a civil partnership between a man and a woman (more's the pity).
 
^ So what did Ken and Diedre have? Always thought that was a CP :eek:

Chundles said:
Well that's no fun, what if you get stuck with a dud root? That'd suck. And divorce is a sin? What if you get stuck with a violent dud root? That'd suck more.
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Which is why it helps to get to know your partner before making the leap. None of the Catholics I'm pally with would stay with a violent dud root, or if it simply didn't work. I guess it just works in stressing that marriage should be for life, but if life is put at risk or the risk of being rubbish then it's okay.

And Mr. OP :) I get it now. Btw I'd just do it in some far flung region of the world with just me and the girlfriend. Go off on holiday and come back accidentally married, and tanned. All over.
 
Like Chundles says, do a small "ceremony" at city hall/clerk office and have a nice reception for family/friends.
 
raggedjimmi said:
I never understood why atheists would like to get married, which is considered a religious event. Especially since you can have civil partnerships in place of "weddings" and naming days in place of Christenings. Something about having cakes and eating them. I'm not religious myself mind.
Click to expand...
Because marriage is first and foremost a legally recognized contract, despite what the Bible thumpers would like you to believe.

Just look at the definition of marriage:

New Oxford American Dictionary - "1 the formal union of a man and a woman, typically recognized by law, by which they become husband and wife. [2] a similar long-term relationship between partners of the same sex."

Merriam-Webster - "1 a (1): the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (2): the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage."

Cambridge Dictionaries - "a legally accepted relationship between a woman and a man in which they live as husband and wife."​

Do you see religion mentioned? ...at all?

Ancient Romans were holding secular weddings long before organized religion decided it was their duty to do so.


Back to the original question... Friends of mine held their afternoon wedding in a very nice, formal restaurant's banquet hall, with a captain officiating the ceremony. It was very nice, having the look and feel of a traditional wedding without the interjection of religion.
 
All right, everyone, let's just not worry about the distinction between weddings and civil unions. The point is, I want the non-religious equivalent to a wedding, whatever it may be called. So with that, no need to discuss it further :)

EricNau said:
Back to the original question... Friends of mine held their afternoon wedding in a very nice, formal restaurant's banquet hall, with a captain officiating the ceremony. It was very nice, having the look and feel of a traditional wedding without the interjection of religion.
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Cool. Any idea how this stuff gets organised? Like, how do I go about getting someone to legally wed me without religion?
 
ZiggyPastorius said:
Cool. Any idea how this stuff gets organised? Like, how do I go about getting someone to legally wed me without religion?
Click to expand...

Lots of people are qualified to marry people (it's usually a simple test), so even one of your friends/relatives could do it.

If you want someone else to do it, just go online and search for someone in your area. There are probably tons of people around who do it for a small fee.
 
CalBoy said:
Lots of people are qualified to marry people (it's usually a simple test), so even one of your friends/relatives could do it.

If you want someone else to do it, just go online and search for someone in your area. There are probably tons of people around who do it for a small fee.
Click to expand...

Seems simple enough.
 
CalBoy said:
Lots of people are qualified to marry people (it's usually a simple test), so even one of your friends/relatives could do it.

If you want someone else to do it, just go online and search for someone in your area. There are probably tons of people around who do it for a small fee.
Click to expand...

In the US, requirements for who may perform marriage ceremonies vary greatly by state.
 
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