This may sound weird but I want to become left handed. Anybody want to give me hints, tips or anything they can think of. or give me their college thiesis paper on why this is impossible

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I have been using my left hand for my mouse and writing all of today and i have muscles hurting in places i didn't even now their were muscles their.
Its NOT your hand that you must train ... but your MIND.
My sister was brought up to be ambidextrous. I personally taught her to write with her right hand, as I am as well, but my mother taught her to write in her left. she STILL has a preference to pick up a knife in her right had to cut meat with but she can do just fine on the fly with her left without thinking about it.
You'll realize that although your right-hand/arm is STRONGER than your left, your LEFT has more endurance!
Your hand hurts due to FINE MOTOR CONTROL.
STart by writing capital letters of the alphabet JUST LIKE kindergarten

Then go small case letters when caps is perfected. Once small case is perfected then write upper/lower-case letters in cursive ... by this time your hand will not hurt so much, barely at all but you'll notice your strokes will become smaller or tighter (man this sounds like a masturbation class lol - back on topic).
Then is words & sentences with cursive.
Thne its eating ... eat steak ... cutting with the knife .... this is where fine motor control isn't so important but controllled strength in measurements - precise measurements is used/focused. Funny how you can use a fork in the left hand which needs precision & fine motor skills for balancing rise on and getting it to your mouth without thinking about it. strange no?
then practice holding a table spoon heaping with water (surface tension in full effect).... and go upstairs in your house WITHOUT spilling a drop at normal pace. ALso note NOT to fixate your elbow to your side of ur body ... on touching.
All done
This is just off the top of the dome but something I noticed my sister doing when she was 4 .... she's 26 now. I'm 34.
This is how I'd do it.