Can I get my girlfriend back? (Sorry, another relationship thread)


-aggie-

macrumors P6
Jun 19, 2009
16,793
50
Where bunnies are welcome.
Not to sound harsh, but you both sound like you're playing games or really don't know what you want. She asks if you are over her, you say yes, and then when she says she's seeing someone you're heartbroken? Later she says you can get her back if you do what's required?

If she was really the love of your life, why'd you break up? It sounds like you still have some work to do on you, IMO. If not, then do what she requires you to do (whatever that is), win her back, and live happily ever after. Fairly simple, if that's all that is required and you're really serious.
 

Rodimus Prime

macrumors G4
Oct 9, 2006
10,132
4
I read you post and I came to one simple conclusion.
"You want what you can not have"

You did not want her back until you found out she was with someone new. Her being with a new guy is a signal that she is over you and has moved on. Now you want her because of that

It is over. Even if yoiu did try again it would end for the same reasons as before because the same fights would happen. I have watch it before with friends and I delt with some of it in my own life. Trust me it is not worth it.
 

acfusion29

macrumors 68040
Nov 8, 2007
3,125
1
Toronto
If she was really the love of your life, why'd you break up? It sounds like you still have some work to do on you, IMO. If not, then do what she requires you to do (whatever that is), win her back, and live happily ever after. Fairly simple, if that's all that is required and you're really serious.
Exactly.. I would never let my mom or parents get in the way of me and a girl.

Something similar just happened within my family actually, but it wasn't over religion.
 

Knowlege Bomb

macrumors 604
Feb 14, 2008
6,515
2,241
Madison, WI
I read you post and I came to one simple conclusion.
"You want what you can not have"

You did not want her back until you found out she was with someone new. Her being with a new guy is a signal that she is over you and has moved on. Now you want her because of that

It is over. Even if yoiu did try again it would end for the same reasons as before because the same fights would happen. I have watch it before with friends and I delt with some of it in my own life. Trust me it is not worth it.
This guy said it best. No matter how many times you try and how much you both say you're going to change it's not gonna happen. Your relationship went the way it did because of who you both are. You're still you. She's the same person as well. Move on and find somebody with whom you're compatible.

The feelings for this girl may never go away. It sucks but it's the truth. I speak from experience. But the sooner you realize that you're not meant to be together the sooner you can move along and find the right one.
 

eawmp1

macrumors 601
Feb 19, 2008
4,130
5
FL
Then the thing with my mom creeped up, I began having second thoughts about the degree, and self-confidence issues arose. Ex-girlfriend and I decided to move in together, because I chose to go to school near where she was living, and this REALLY pissed my mom off, which further strained things, again, because I was too worried about what my mom was thinking and saying. I couldn't focus on school at all and dropped out after only a few weeks. I was counting on getting a software job after dropping out, and that fell through. So basically I have nothing to show for 2009. It's a pretty depressing thought.
Time to cut the umbilical cord and slap yourself on the a$$. Keep it up and you'll end up Norman Bates. You're an adult (I presume), live your life, not the life your mom wants you to.
 

Knowlege Bomb

macrumors 604
Feb 14, 2008
6,515
2,241
Madison, WI
With all due respect, your mom sounds like an evil b****. I certainly wouldn't have much respect for a parent who didn't support my decision to be with someone I care about as much as you seem to about this girl.
 

eawmp1

macrumors 601
Feb 19, 2008
4,130
5
FL
You're totally right. I'm working on it, one step at a time. I finally admitted to her today that ever since I was a kid, I didn't believe in any of the Catholic stuff. It was sort of a weight off my shoulders, but obviously too late to make any difference in my (former) relationship.



I love my mom, but I have lost a ton of respect for her after this. I don't think I could ever forgive her for what she's done. She is a religious bigot. But at the same time, I was too much of a wuss to just stand up to her, which is obviously my fault.
Way to live up to the username today.
 

barkomatic

macrumors 601
Aug 8, 2008
4,027
1,798
Manhattan
You're totally right. I'm working on it, one step at a time. I finally admitted to her today that ever since I was a kid, I didn't believe in any of the Catholic stuff. It was sort of a weight off my shoulders, but obviously too late to make any difference in my (former) relationship.



I love my mom, but I have lost a ton of respect for her after this. I don't think I could ever forgive her for what she's done. She is a religious bigot. But at the same time, I was too much of a wuss to just stand up to her, which is obviously my fault.
She's your mother and you love her. It's hard to stand up to your own family sometimes especially when you're young. Cut yourself a break. You've realized your own beliefs and have told her. You'll find another girl and will be all the wiser. It's ok.
 

eawmp1

macrumors 601
Feb 19, 2008
4,130
5
FL
Was that sarcastic? Serious? Either way, I'm not sure I get it. My username is based off of the name of a roller coaster, haha.
I was serious, playing off your new steel mettle.
However, a rollercoaster analogy for life could be applied also.
 

eawmp1

macrumors 601
Feb 19, 2008
4,130
5
FL
Ah, I see now. Thanks, I guess. :p I just need to continue to take steps to get back to who I was before all this **** fell apart, and also eventually go beyond that. As unbearably difficult as this seems right now, I need to somehow turn this slew of bad decisions into better ones, and make big changes in my life.
Wrong...you don't want to be back where you were before all the **** fell apart...you want to be in a better place. Don't look back with longing; look forward with anticipation.
 

yojitani

macrumors 68000
Apr 28, 2005
1,855
10
An octopus's garden
I'm going to go against the grain (I think here) and respectfully disagree with the 'get over it' line of thought. It sounds like she has left a small window for you that you should jump through at any cost if indeed you feel you have made a huge mistake. If what you had together was as rare as you say it was, then believe me, it'll be a long time, maybe never, before you find something like it again. Try what you can to win her over again, but also learn from your mistakes and learn to continue to value her as much as you realize you do now.

BUT, from what you've said you need to correct your relationship with your mother. I can't tell you how many stories I've heard about some great guy who doesn't have the balls to be honest to his mother and play the part he should between spouse/girlfriend and mother! The spouse/girlfriend leaves every time eventually. Religion is a tough one, but you're going to need to clarify (to your mother) how you feel about your mother's religion and be willing to unambiguously take your girlfriend's side.