talking about marriage and you havent' even met her in person?
whatever floats your boat I suppose...
whatever floats your boat I suppose...
talking about marriage and you havent' even met her in person?
whatever floats your boat I suppose...
....Of course I don't need to justify our relationship to a bunch of online anonymous strangers to make it legitmate to me, but I
wanted to lessen any fears some members on here might have.
Of course I don't need to justify our relationship to a bunch of online anonymous strangers to make it legitmate to me, but I
wanted to lessen any fears some members on here might have.
the process is going to be full of skeptical officials who you're going to have to convince.
Good luck
I think you should cut him some slack. We're not in his shoes.That's right, you just have to justify the relationship to an online anonymous stranger.![]()
I think you should cut him some slack. We're not in his shoes.
And that is the bottom line.
If you think the MacRumors folk are giving you a hard time wait till you get your file tossed back at you. Interview terminated. I speak from experience.
Give this your best shot and make it as legit appearing as possible. A few days visit and Skype chat histories don't cut it anymore.
Immigration is not sentimental. And in this age of *cough* Homeland Security even less so.
Good luck.
I think you should cut him some slack. We're not in his shoes.
I would think that the longer you two maintain a relationship before applying for anything, the better. Make sure you document everything you have done so far. Go back and look at the "skeptical" comments again, and think about how you would counter them. You may need those arguments when you go before an official - whose is being paid to be skeptical, and to believe that at least one of you is has dishonourable motives. Remember that their job is not to make this work out for you, their job is to prevent unqualified people from coming into the US.
It can be done, but you will have to work for it.
^^^Perhaps, but it's hard to prove a relationship between 2 people who haven't met.
Also, you want to be together, but what I'm hearing is actually, "I want to be with her by bringing her into the US." Would you be equally willing to move to China? If you're willing to do anything to make it all work out in your favour, then perhaps you should rethink your plan.
People in China can only have 1 child, and that child is often responsible for taking care of the parents (somewhat) when they get old. This includes financially. It's also not totally uncommon for the parents to live with you under the same roof. There's no tax-free government program where they
If the biggest portion of this is proving our love for each other, then
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Willing to wait as long as it takes. Do whatever it takes. <3
Just to clarify - I do want this to work out for you. So, hope for the best - but plan to convince a mean SOB bugger of an INS interviewer. And to do that you have to think of every reason they will want to deny your request, and then have an answer. Part of that is going to be showing your correspondence. So, while Skype is nice.... unless you've been recording your sessions it means nothing in terms of documentation. Start writing letters (real letters!) and emails, and keep them. Go and visit (I know you are planning to already, but do it again) and get pictures of you with her, with her family, with her friends, etc etc. Go on holiday in different parts of China. Keep your travel receipts, and get photos.
Go on holiday together to a 3rd country. Get photos. Start keeping a diary, and get gushy in it.
Send presents back and forth. Document them in your diary. Have her start one too, even in Chinese.
Take Chinese lessons (whichever dialect is appropriate for her family). Learn to cook chinese food for her (and document the lessons). Etc etc
and good luck, eh?
Lets see this girl.
Just some comments for what it's worth:
- While Skype is useful, it really doesn't convey what she is really like since you have not met her. Off camera, she could be different.
- Always get to know the culture that you are marring into. Not what you see on TV/Movies or possibly a Chinatown. Spend a year or two in her country. Enjoy learning her culture.
- What religion will she observe? Doesn't it matter to you? If you have kids, what religion will they observe?
- Women tend to want to live near where they grew up. So be prepared to live in China someday. Or possibly, have her parents immigrate to the US with you as their sponsor.
Just some things I've learned over 25 years of living abroad.
Hope things work out for you!![]()
I would skip an immigration attorney. Unnecessary IMO, just follow the instructions on the embassy website for whichever process you do...that's all the immigration attorney will do anyway, and you'll still be responsible for gathering all the paperwork for them as it is.
Definitely meet her. Having spent a few years here I really know what my wife is like and where she's coming from; spending time here allows me to see what things are different and how, and has helped me prepare her for those things. I also know how Japanese people approach things which also helps. All of the culture fatigue I experienced was mitigated by the fact English speakers are all over the world, and usually have common places to meet such as foreigner bars, or most of us come over with companies with many foreigners so it's easy to make friends.
Depending on where you live in the US she may or may not have such resources; I know I'm more or less my wife's sole friend/lifeline in the US; there are nearly no Japanese people in Minneapolis and she can use Japanese nowhere whatsoever, so my next task is networking to find her some Japanese friends ASAP that she can gripe about Americans to in her native tongue on those tough days (what would've happened to me without "my people" so many times before here in Japan, lol).
Seriously, go out there. The above aside, you have no chance proving to immigration that your relationship is genuine, so think of it as you don't have a choice.
1 )Her English is easily fluent
2) She works with lots of foreigners (lots of americans, probably reason for #1)
3) I live in a town with a sizeable chinese population.
If we DO decide that it's something we want to do after we've meet in person, I wanted advice on how we could prepare in the meantime.
Curious: We were planning in the next 6 months or so during a visit, I go to her parents village and formally meet them. How much of a difference would that make to the embassy? Should we not even START the immigration process until after that has happened?
People in China can only have 1 child, and that child is often responsible for taking care of the parents (somewhat) when they get old. This includes financially. It's also not totally uncommon for the parents to live with you under the same roof. There's no tax-free government program where they
Couple of points this:
1) She has never expressed any interest in us living together in China.
bobber205 said:2) If she wants to support her parents in their old age, she would much more likely to be able to do that on a dual american salary.
bobber205 said:5) I plan on visiting this October.
Point 4, not sure at this point.![]()