circles with people my boyfriend was in contact with

[Mercaptan]

Yes and yes. There are tech problems and there are people problems. People problems are harder.

Or do like I do with my husband. Stop checking his phone. Let him have his privacy, allow him to associate with females as friends and co workers. And know that this climate of trust makes a healthy ecosystem for mutual caring and love. People cheat usually because they are unfulfilled, curious or unsure of their standing. Being paranoid, invading privacy, accusing and trying to block them from social situations solves none of those. It's manipulative and controlling...

...And a bit of a pet peeve of mine also, wasn't that like 2 iOS's ago?

 

[bopajuice]

What is the big deal? Is he not allowed to talk with other woman? Why the jealousy and constant checking of his devices?

 

[macduke]

I ended my engagement because me ex fiance couldnt get these through her hear. A girl I had know for 10 years, that was engaged and lived 4 states away was too big of an issue for her to handle.

Dodged a bullet there! Good for you. When I got married, one of my three best friends was female, and she even stood up with the best men in my wedding as a "best" woman. Unconventional? Yeah. But I don't really care what other people think. We had known each other since first grade, and even had a brief romantic encounter towards the end of high school when we were both going through rough times with each of our families, but realized that we're better off as friends and that's completely fine. My wife never had a problem with it.

I think that people who have issues like that are either really insecure, or don't trust who they're marrying and therefore shouldn't be getting married in the first place. Kudos to you for realizing that before you got in too deep and ended up in divorce years later. People like to say "But I've invested so much time!" but you're far better off cutting your losses and moving on before you dig yourself a hole and "waste" even more years. And even so it's never a "waste" because it's all a learning experience. We're all just filling some invisible progress bar with no defined end until we meet our soulmate. It's frustrating but it's life. Looking back, I wish I had taken more time to enjoy the process. I used to hate dating, but most of that was from self-worth issues due to being raised by narcissists.