College students?

[Buschmaster]

Of you who live in dorms, or did recently and still remember, how many of you used headphones while listening to music when your roommate was doing something or whatever. My roommate cranks his throughout the day and half the time it's songs I really don't care to hear. He even turns music on while he's on the phone or something like that. I always use headphones, mostly to block out his music. I don't get it, though. Shouldn't he use headphones, too? Especially with some of the messed up songs he's listening to?

 

[AvSRoCkCO1067]

Of you who live in dorms, or did recently and still remember, how many of you used headphones while listening to music when your roommate was doing something or whatever. My roommate cranks his throughout the day and half the time it's songs I really don't care to hear. He even turns music on while he's on the phone or something like that. I always use headphones, mostly to block out his music. I don't get it, though. Shouldn't he use headphones, too? Especially with some of the messed up songs he's listening to?

Absolutely - here at Mines, neighbors are required to wear headphones if they are requested to, especially during finals week!!! Just ask him politely, and if he refuses, contact the administration

 

[Mord]

here in the UK we have the luxury of single rooms with en suite facilities that are pretty sound proofed, they still won't let me play violin in them but we can crank or not crank as we please.

 

[DrStrangelove]

Of you who live in dorms, or did recently and still remember, how many of you used headphones while listening to music when your roommate was doing something or whatever. My roommate cranks his throughout the day and half the time it's songs I really don't care to hear. He even turns music on while he's on the phone or something like that. I always use headphones, mostly to block out his music. I don't get it, though. Shouldn't he use headphones, too? Especially with some of the messed up songs he's listening to?

Sure... if you want to take the high road.

If you're interested in my puerile methods of handling this-- I got a dozen or so suggestions.

 

[comictimes]

I generally use headphones when listening to music, but that's mostly because of a combination of having no speakers outside my laptop speakers, and because it gives me a good excuse to ignore people when I don't feel like dealing with them.

As for the room mate thing, just tell him which types of music you're not a fan of, and ask him to listen to it through his headphones when he's listening to those types while you're around. If he's an ass, he may bitch and grumble for a while, but he'd have to be a complete jerk to refuse outright.

 

[Buschmaster]

I would ask him kindly, but I was just assuming this was a common courtesy thing. He is "socially immature" and he really shows few signs of caring of others. What I'm afraid of is if I ask him to use headphones he'll take his Christmas money and buy a nice set of speakers and crank the crap out of those. To give you guys some perspective...

He's had groups of people in my room while I'm trying to sleep... At 2, 3, and 4 in the morning. He's had this other girl in the room several times about at the same times, basically the only reason they're in here is that I used to have an XBox. Which I sold just to keep them out, that's how bad it is. Yeah.

 

[OnceUGoMac]

I would ask him kindly, but I was just assuming this was a common courtesy thing. He is "socially immature" and he really shows few signs of caring of others. What I'm afraid of is if I ask him to use headphones he'll take his Christmas money and buy a nice set of speakers and crank the crap out of those. To give you guys some perspective...

He's had groups of people in my room while I'm trying to sleep... At 2, 3, and 4 in the morning. He's had this other girl in the room several times about at the same times, basically the only reason they're in here is that I used to have an XBox. Which I sold just to keep them out, that's how bad it is. Yeah.

Are you just lying there and taking it? Don't ask him nicely, be aggressive.

 

[Queso]

Sounds like the type who thinks he can "educate" others into liking the music he likes. We had a couple of people like that when I was at Uni. Just politely ask him to use headphones. If he argues his music is really good, point out that his expectations that everyone has the same tastes as him are rather unrealistic and that you'd appreciate it if he kept it down.

EDIT: Woah. Just read your second post. Don't put up with that at all. You're entitled to your own space. Make an issue out of it as he doesn't sound like the type who will work it out for himself.

 

[Markleshark]

Are you just lying there and taking it? Don't ask him nicely, be aggressive.

Yeah, lay some smacketh down on his ass... Wow I used to love The Rock

 

[jcarm24]

It's certainly a tough situation you're in, since he seems to be inconsiderate in many ways. I agree with most of the previous replies about asking him nicely the first time and see how it goes. If you let it go it will only escalate and could blow up into something more complicated. And if you ask nicely the first time, it def. gives you room to be more aggressive if he doesn't listen.

I tend to think he's either aware of his behavior and doesn't care, or he doesn't even realize that he's being a jerk. Either way, if you point it out soon, it will make things easier down the line.

Also, have a witness there when you ask him nicely the first time (your RA or a mutual friend). This will give you leverage if things turn ugly. You don't have to drag someone in there to watch you do it, just see if you can slip it in when another person's around.

 

[puckhead193]

same problem with mine.... i sorta have the same taste in music, but at time i don't feel like listening to it...once he had the nerve to ask me to put my headphones on so he can listen to music.... ( he doesn't have any, and i told him repeatedly to get some)
plus mine is becoming friends with my friends so i can't even leave and get away and go down stairs to their room without a visit from him; He also some-how always takes a long and invites himself when we are going off campus. He makes stupid jokes that aren't funny and tries to piss people off. He also asks me every time where i'm going as if he's my mother... drives me nuts!
sry for the rant (and there's more) something i had to get out!

 

[Counterfit]

Back when I lived in a dorm, one roommate listen to crappy music on his crappy Vaio, the other listened to, uh, other stuff I guess either on his PC or iMac. He had SoundSticks, and I had a Logitech 4.1 system, but we never had it loud enough to bother each other (well, usually, but then I would go get a tuna sandwich from D'Angelo and drive him out of the room ), and I always used headphones when watching a movie or playing a game.

 

[puckhead193]

but then I would go get a tuna sandwich from D'Angelo and drive him out of the room ),

(not of fan of d'angelo - we too have one down the street from our school) where'd you go?

edit more things to add to my rant-
he sleeps with freaking window open... and makes the room freezing (maybe that's why he's always sick)
he's a slob and leaves his jeans and socks and has this huge fan (cause the room need to be cold) in the door way... i told him countless times to move his **** but he doesn't listen...
He's too lazy to take out his own trash.... he's left a trash bag in the front hall for a few days now...

 

[Tanglewood]

Also, have a witness there when you ask him nicely the first time (your RA or a mutual friend). This will give you leverage if things turn ugly. You don't have to drag someone in there to watch you do it, just see if you can slip it in when another person's around.

^ I agree with this from experience. ^

You shouldn't back away from the situation. Talk to your RA (thats what they are there for) before you do anything too rash. You should establish boundaries that don't seem to be there (having people over when the other roommate is trying to sleep, headphones/loud music, using the other ones stuff i.e. xbox, etc...). Its your room too and he should respect that.


If your roommate is as socially inconsiderate as you say and you don't think there is any room for him to improve you could always possibly request a room change.

 

[twoodcc]

i live in a dorm, but i've got it good. i have my own room that i can close my door, and my roommate the same. but the walls don't block out music very good, and he has nice speakers with bass. but so do i. so when he cranks his up, i turn mine up, and then he usually turns his down.

 

[0098386]

here in the UK we have the luxury of single rooms with en suite facilities that are pretty sound proofed, they still won't let me play violin in them but we can crank or not crank as we please.

Yup. Good ol' England Can't believe you have to share. Friends/partners yea. but randoms? sickening.

 

[Buschmaster]

I'm not really lying there and taking it... I basically kicked them out one night and they didn't really return.

 

[Swarmlord]

Can't you go to the Housing office and arrange to swap roommates for someone you're compatible with or at least isn't rude?

I never really spent much time during the evening in my dorm room, so it wasn't really a problem for me, but my roommates and I either agreed on the music we wanted to listen to or we wore headphones.

I worked in the afternoons and evenings and then did my homework either in the lab or the library, so roommate interruptions weren't a problem unless I was relaxing and reading for pleasure or sleeping.

 

[beatsme]

roommates suck. I'll never have another one who isn't my girlfriend/wife.

if it were me, I'd probably just move. I've had roommates who are this bad, and I have in fact just left. The end of the semester is coming up, and that's usually the best time (or easiest time) to get a new room assignment, since there are always those who have decided to move off campus or those who won't be returning to school.

my point of view is this:
if you had your choice, there's no way you'd choose to live with this guy, right? He's a slob and obviously has no interest in reaching some kind of accomodation with you. Why put yourself through it? Talk to your RA and find out what you have to do to get new living arrangements. Maybe you'll get lucky and find something on the same floor or in the same building...

 

[gadgetgirl85]

Ahh the benefits of living at home while attending uni. (I think it works different over here)

 

[irmongoose]

I'm quite lucky and have great roommates (yeah, I have two - and both turned out to be cool guys).
We blast music at each other but always put on headphones if asked.

I'd say get your roommate changed as soon as possible.
I'm sure you won't be forced to live with the guy if you tell an RA about your situation. It's not like it's an uncommon thing.



irmongoose

 

[jcarm24]

I'm definitely not opposed to all the suggestions of getting your roommate changed, but depending on the college, it might not be that simple. I had a friend my freshman year and she had a TERRIBLE roommate. I mean, she makes this guy sound like a BFF (thank you Cartman for introducing me to this term).

Anyway, she went through an entire semester trying to get a new one, and it took so long because of how my college wanted to proceed. It made the months in between even worse for my friend, b/c her roommate knew she was getting the boot.

So I'd say certainly talk to your RA first and ask your RM to be more considerate. Then take more aggressive actions. But also investigate how the roommate procedures work (duration, availibility, etc)

Good luck....and if all else fails, join some sports leagues and get out of the dorm often.

 

[SpookTheHamster]

I can't imagine having to share rooms, I'm surprised that universities still provide shared rooms. I can understand shared toilets/showers (though I have my own here at uni, and my room is bigger than mine at home).

I have good flatmates, though. If they're playing music it's not too loud, and when I play it I normally stick to quite quiet, and use earphones if I play my guitar.

 

[bigandy]

here in the UK we have the luxury of single rooms with en suite facilities that are pretty sound proofed, they still won't let me play violin in them but we can crank or not crank as we please.

you mean "there in edinburgh"

some rooms at my uni are shared... and a vast minority (i'm stressing the point of how few) are en suite.

consider yourself lucky


Buschmaster, if i were you, i'd tell him to use headphones. in that close environment you'll end up taking a pound of flesh if you don't get along - and this will become one of those straws that breaks the... well i'm sure you know what i'm going to say here

 

[Buschmaster]

The main problem I have is that I don't want to leave the floor... Yes, I'd love to move somewhere else get a new way... but... I really really don't want to leave the floor. I feel strongly about that.