I like this thread, so here are some TRUE things I have found over the years. . . . . .yes and I mean TRUE.
1. I was out looking for my Dad, not seen him for years, someone pointed me in the so called right direction. . . . .A Soho bedsit. . . did not find him there, thought it was a wild goose chase, so got really drunken instead, got thrown out of a night club, went to find a bus to get home, spewed up on the bus cops rolled up to cart me away . . . . yep one was me Dad . . . . . tosser stilled nicked me though.
2. Mick Jaggers Rolex watch at a Knebworth concert. . . i gave it back. . nutter!
3. A dead homing pigeon in my loft. . . .it had been lost/dead for 8 years. . . from Belgium.
4. Two dead dogs in a black bin liner. . . called the cops. . .I thought it was a person. . DOH!
5. Three black frozen toes in Lapland.
6. Cardboard box full of cigs and cigars. . . from a robbery in the town centre where I live. . . . puff. . puff. . it all went up in smoke. . . cough! cough!
7. A mans penis stimulator. . . . in church. . (no not a catholic church)
8. fourteen left footed sandals. . .hop! hop!
9. My Mums car keys. . . in the same field i lost them. .obviously . . 22 years previously.
10. My friends left arm in an old fashion washing mangle. . .still attatched to her but smelling of burnt rubber,hair,skin and bone. . . yuk!
11. A satanic ritual dagger. . . and had to run like mad when what I thought was Satan shouting a me. . . "put that down you little B*****D or you will find it in you gut" of course I threw it down where it accidently struck his cat. . . . Mum sent me to my Nans, far away for the summer break. . . phew!
12. A dead body in the park. . . well I thought the old boy was dead until I tried to nick a small bottle of vodka that was gonna go to waste by his side. . he woke up and chased me for 20 mins. . . .the motto "never assume someone is dead . . . and watch it if he has been drinking Vodka and RED BULL.
13. A box of matches in a derelict warehouse. . . mmmm.
14. 2 kilos of white powder stashed away on a train in Vienna . . .someone reported it to the guards. . . . . train stopped at Brussels. . . . .all off searched catalogued, numbered, branded, passport taken off us all . . . .got to Brugge authorities found out it was Milk powder. . . .I had to make a statement where i bought it from and why i put it in the bin in the bogs on the train. . . . . not what i found but what someone else found that i had dumped.
Yes all TRUE.