Today I awoke to a house centipede on the wall across from me. My natural instincts prompted me to dispose of this vile hellion and send it back to the depths of which it came. The only problem is that it's near the door.
I have a fear of anything that has more than four legs (except bumble bees, I find them to be cute). So if I were to kill this abomination I would have to leap from my bed to the door, land with a roll against the floor to the hallway closest that houses my weapons and amunition. Of course this was all in my imagination because I'm an overweight twenty six year old male, and the only thing I could accomplish is to make the rest of my family wake to the rumbling sounds of my body coming into contact with the walls and floors (perhaps ceilings too). All this just to prevent the nasty critter of torture from coming into contact with my flesh.
After I took the time to calm down abit and think rationally, the creature of many appendages made it's way from the door to a corner of the room. I take this chance to grab a change of clothes and run to our pearly white throne. While I relax and bask in my victorious escape from that spawn of nightmares, I contemplate if I should destroy the things material shell and send it back to the abyss from whence it came. Or should I pretend to never have seen it, and allow a sibling bring it's demise in my place ( this would be my first choice).
Unfortunately things didn't go the way I had planned. My enemy has picked up on my trail and made it's way to the pearly white throne upon which I sat. Of course it's presence was noticed the second it entered my private sanctuary but since I was at my most vulerable, I couldn't move from the throne. In order to keep myself away from it as much as possible I had to lift my legs to keep my feet off of the floor. Let me tell you, it's not an easy thing to do when fearing for your life and relieving yourself. Luckily, the demonic thing seemed to look for a portal to it's world, so it avoided me. I proceded to tipy toe on the side of the bathtub to clean and dress myself. Then while it made it's way to my stall of purification I jumped over it's massive form to the door and made my way to the weapons closet. I grabbed my container of holy mist (Raid), my bo-staff (broom) and steel armour boots (moms slippers).
I made my way back to the chamber of purification and unfotunately for it, the thing was still there. Heaven was with me, on spray of the holy mist incapacitated it in the first attempt. I then proceeded to jab it a couple of times with my staff of holy might, and finally I completed the return of it's soul to the vile pits by severing any link it had to it's material form (I crushed it over and over with my moms slipper until it became a watery mush).
Today I am victorious, tomorrow who knows.............
What experiences have you had with creatures of may legs? Do you have the same fear of them that I do even though were larger than them? Share your horror stories here!
I have a fear of anything that has more than four legs (except bumble bees, I find them to be cute). So if I were to kill this abomination I would have to leap from my bed to the door, land with a roll against the floor to the hallway closest that houses my weapons and amunition. Of course this was all in my imagination because I'm an overweight twenty six year old male, and the only thing I could accomplish is to make the rest of my family wake to the rumbling sounds of my body coming into contact with the walls and floors (perhaps ceilings too). All this just to prevent the nasty critter of torture from coming into contact with my flesh.
After I took the time to calm down abit and think rationally, the creature of many appendages made it's way from the door to a corner of the room. I take this chance to grab a change of clothes and run to our pearly white throne. While I relax and bask in my victorious escape from that spawn of nightmares, I contemplate if I should destroy the things material shell and send it back to the abyss from whence it came. Or should I pretend to never have seen it, and allow a sibling bring it's demise in my place ( this would be my first choice).
Unfortunately things didn't go the way I had planned. My enemy has picked up on my trail and made it's way to the pearly white throne upon which I sat. Of course it's presence was noticed the second it entered my private sanctuary but since I was at my most vulerable, I couldn't move from the throne. In order to keep myself away from it as much as possible I had to lift my legs to keep my feet off of the floor. Let me tell you, it's not an easy thing to do when fearing for your life and relieving yourself. Luckily, the demonic thing seemed to look for a portal to it's world, so it avoided me. I proceded to tipy toe on the side of the bathtub to clean and dress myself. Then while it made it's way to my stall of purification I jumped over it's massive form to the door and made my way to the weapons closet. I grabbed my container of holy mist (Raid), my bo-staff (broom) and steel armour boots (moms slippers).
I made my way back to the chamber of purification and unfotunately for it, the thing was still there. Heaven was with me, on spray of the holy mist incapacitated it in the first attempt. I then proceeded to jab it a couple of times with my staff of holy might, and finally I completed the return of it's soul to the vile pits by severing any link it had to it's material form (I crushed it over and over with my moms slipper until it became a watery mush).
Today I am victorious, tomorrow who knows.............
What experiences have you had with creatures of may legs? Do you have the same fear of them that I do even though were larger than them? Share your horror stories here!
