My mom unexpectedly passed away about a month and a half ago. On July 19, she was going home from the mall, then an undiagnosed brain aneurysm burst. She had a hemorrhagic stroke brought on by a subarachnoid hemorrhage. I got a call an hour later she was brought in to the hospital (where she worked) by one of her co-workers. My siblings were out of town and my dad was at work, so I rushed to the ER with a friend who I was hanging out with that night. When we we got there, she was barely conscious. She was just staring at me and then she started to vomit so they had to intubate her. She never regained consciousness; she was brain-dead. We pulled the plug 5 days later on 7/24. She was 57. I had just talked to her a couple hours before and I rushed her off the phone as usual, since she usually asked the same questions over and over. Our last conversation lasted 59 seconds. I even had the opportunity to pass by her house earlier in the day, but I just drove past since I wasn't in the mood. To this day, I'm still in shock. I honestly believe that she's not dead. I feel like she's just away some where and she'll be back soon. I find myself just crying or getting severely depressed out of nowhere. From time to time, I go by my dad's and spend the night there to keep him company since he still can't be alone right now. They were together for 40 years. My question is this: how do I get over this? I can't even go to her grave. My brother, sister, in-laws, and dad go all the time but I don't. It still feels surreal. I was closer to my mom than any of my family, so I feel alone. I feel like they don't get me. Sure, I have my friends, but it isn't the same. A lot of what-if's come to my mind about that day/night, or if we never decided to pull the plug. I guess I'm just lost, confused and a bit depressed about this. Anyone here go through what I am? What has helped you?