Did I do something wrong?

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by TSE, Sep 19, 2011.

  1. TSE macrumors 68030

    Jun 25, 2007
    St. Paul, Minnesota
    So I am a freshman in college and was really excited to get a roommate.

    When I first met my roommate on facebook, we seemed to get along really well.

    For the first three weeks of college, we seem to get along really well. We don't do much together, but we talk and have good conversations and share music and stuff.

    Well about two weeks ago, we quit having conversations and stuff. I try talking to him and he starts giving me one word responses.

    Well about a week and a half ago I was in my bed taking a nap during the daytime and these two girls from our floor and him walk in to our room, close the door and start talking quietly, but loud enough to wake me up.

    As I am laying there, they start talking about me. At first they comment on how messy my side of the room is. They then move on to much nastier things and say I am weird, ugly, and I only date sluts.

    He then agrees and says he's looking for a new roommate.

    That's when I had it. I can't stand people talking **** about me behind my back.

    I sit up and say," What were you guys saying?"

    They then all look up shocked and one of them says,"Oh... we didn't know you were sleeping..." and before I could say anything they leave the room.

    I haven't said a word to my roommate since then, until today when he informed me that he found a new roommate on the same floor. When I asked why he said "It's nothing personal... we have just become good friends that's all."

    So, I sit here and ponder, are people really this douchey or is it something wrong with me? I ask myself constantly while I have good months of peace and happiness why I deal with social anxiety and depression at my worst, and moments like these remind me of why.
  2. ucfgrad93 macrumors P6


    Aug 17, 2007
    Sounds like you are well rid of him. Good luck with your new roommate.
  3. Surely Guest


    Oct 27, 2007
    Los Angeles, CA
    Yes, people really are that douchy.

    Don't sweat it.:)
  4. TuffLuffJimmy macrumors G3


    Apr 6, 2007
    Portland, OR
    Some roommates just plain suck. My first roommate was kind of a moron. He was incredibly gullible and had some rather annoying ideas. He was a pain in the ass.
    My second roommate was awesome and is still one of my closest friends. The roommate after that was awesome too, but we were kinda good friends before moving in together. After that my next roommate was okay. We were friends before moving in together, but he had a nasty drug problem and it caused some tension. Since I moved out we've been able to patch things up.

    OP, it's your freshman year. The one thing I learned my freshman year is how much some people such. Sorry about what a douche your roommate is, you'll have better luck with your next one… unless the problem really is you. ;)
  5. Vudoo macrumors 6502a


    Sep 30, 2008
    Dallas Metroplex
    I had different roommates each of my four years of college. My senior year ones are the ones that I still hang out and talk with after graduating.

    People are still finding themselves in college and not everyone is going to get along. My advice is to move on. Although, you may want to think about what those girls said and see if there is any truth in it. If you are messy, maybe take an extra effort to pick-up after yourself. As for the other things, you have to decide for yourself.
  6. waloshin macrumors 68040

    Oct 9, 2008
    I share a apartment style dorm with 3 other people, one of my roommates is just like that , though from the beginning they would not even speak to me. Whenever I sit in the living room they get up and go to their room.

    I heard him talking on the phone with his mom one night telling her I am always here, though the funny thing is he is too.

    So yeah roommates suck, but I am fortunate enough to not have to share a room with anyone.
  7. KompleX macrumors regular

    Mar 4, 2008
    Downey, CA
    i don't mean to sound rude, but this bit here came off as rather weird. people tend to pickup on comments like these, and if they are your roommate, it can become a very uncomfortable living arrangement.

    your roommate might just be a total jerk though. i dunno.
  8. eljanitor macrumors 6502


    Feb 10, 2011
    Don't let it bother you. Just let it go and hopefully you'll get a better roommate. let him play his games with people, and maybe one day he'll learn better.
  9. yojitani macrumors 68000


    Apr 28, 2005
    An octopus's garden
    Don't sweat it. Yeah, people are that douchy. Things get better when you get together with like-minded people. As I remember, TSE, you are a little precocious. You'll be better off with people like that than people who think you're "weird." Anyway, who wants to be normal? If I got rid of my weird, I'd be pretty damn dull!
  10. boss.king macrumors 68040


    Apr 8, 2009
    I'm lucky enough to have never flatted with such dicks yet. I'm in 2nd year of uni and I flatted and worked for a year and a half before uni and I always got nice enough people. OP don't be afraid to call them out on their crap in front of others, then they look like jackasses. Hopefully you get a decent person to replace them.
  11. yg17 macrumors G5


    Aug 1, 2004
    St. Louis, MO
    Could be worse, I walked in on my creepy roommate whacking off on several occasions.....
  12. espiritujo macrumors member


    Sep 19, 2011
    columbia, sc
    No! You didn't do anything wrong. I think that's just a bad roomate who is just not used to living with someone. Don't feel like it's your fault for just being who you are. Luckily, right now I live with a roomate and we get along just fine. We don't hang out with each other but we do get in good conversations every once in a while. Whenever your roomate moves out (considering he should move out since he's a douche), you'll hopefully meet someone better than him.
  13. imahawki macrumors 6502a

    Apr 26, 2011
    Soooo disappointed this didn't go in a different direction. :D
  14. likemyorbs macrumors 68000


    Jul 20, 2008
    Yeah, some people are really that douchey. Accept it early and life will be much easier for you. Don't take it personally, seems like your roommate was still in a high school mindset.
  15. Tomorrow macrumors 604


    Mar 2, 2008
    Always a day away
    In all likelihood, there's probably at least a bit of both going on here.

    The difference is that while you and most of the rest of us realize that not all people are perfect, your (former) roommate has yet to learn that particular life lesson.

    People can be sorted into three camps - those who are able to look past their roommate's minor flaws, those who aren't able to look past their roommate's minor flaws but handle it gracefully, and douches like the (former) roommate who have to bring in people to make a big production of it.

    The advice you're getting in this thread is quite sound - make no apologies for being yourself, be thankful that this guy is out of your life so early in your college career, and most importantly, don't sweat it. :cool:
  16. mscriv macrumors 601


    Aug 14, 2008
    Dallas, Texas
    Don't sweat it TSE, just move forward. My freshman year of college a roomate tried to out me by simply signing up a new roomate and telling admin that I was moving out of the room. I had to straighten out the mess as they were just going to randomly place me in a new room when I never turned in a move request. In the end he moved out and got a room with the new roomates he wanted and I got new roomates in the room I was already in.

    College can be just as bad if not worse when it comes to social interaction, peer pressure, teasing, etc.. Your first roomate turned out to be a jerk and he's moving out, good. Focus on your studies and making new friends. Don't waste time or energy by over-analyzing things. Focus on being the best version of yourself and ignore negative influences and negative people.
  17. Macky-Mac macrumors 68030


    May 18, 2004
    roommates like that guy are why people decide they want to live without roommates
  18. Rodimus Prime, Sep 20, 2011
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2011

    Rodimus Prime macrumors G4

    Rodimus Prime

    Oct 9, 2006
    welcome to the world of crappy roommates.
    My first roommate and I end up nearly going to fist before I moved out and got my own room.
    My next roommate and I were great friends in college and later we rented a house together but each had our own bedroom. It helps a lot more when you get to choose your roommate and are friends with them before hand.

    If you have the resources try to see if you can get your own room. Now I had the resources to pull that off and really only had share a room for one semester of college. Other wise I had my own room and space. It helps a lot when you have a place you can go and hide.

    You just had a bad roommate who at the very least should of been smarter than to talk **** about you when you were in the room.
    Do not worry about it and move on. Also some other advice that I can give you that will help you out a lot in college is GET INVOLVED. And by that find some club to join and make friends there. or do things in the dorm. I had a bible study group that I got involved with and I am still good friends with several of the people I met there.

    There are a lot of organisations in college you could join.
  19. Huntn macrumors P6


    May 5, 2008
    The Misty Mountains
    There has to be more to this story unless the guy is a goody two shoes neat-freak, you are a slob, and by his standard you only date sluts while he only dates prime and proper lasses. Btw, how would he know? And do you consider yourself ugly? It helps if you have self esteem. (not implying you don't) Had any verbal disagreements with him? Maybe he is just an ass?
  20. Abyssgh0st macrumors 68000


    Jan 12, 2009
    A similar thing happened to me. I'm also a college freshman and was glad to get a roommate that I liked. We got along really well for the first 10 days or so, and ten we just sort of stopped talking. He mentioned he had found someone else that he was considering moving in with, but he said to not count on it happening.

    I came back from class one day and all of his stuff is gone, the room completely void of any evidence that he was ever there. I was sort of upset for the first day or so because I thought maybe he didn't like me which is why he didn't say goodbye, but if you don't get a new roommate (I haven't after a few weeks now) you should ENJOY it. I absolutely love not having a roommate, it's fantastic! Normally at my school you'd have to pay thousands of dollars to get a room to yourself.
  21. TSE thread starter macrumors 68030

    Jun 25, 2007
    St. Paul, Minnesota
    I don't consider myself ugly, necessarily, but because of acne I am ugly... I think besides that, I am a very good looking person.

    In general I have low self esteem but since I got here at college I have been generally happy and confident - until #1. this happened and #2. The girl I spent a lot of time with and did a lot with (and by that I think you know what I mean) cheated on me.

    I have joined German Club and an Industrial Design Club at our school and chill with a lot of people on our floor though.

    Attached Files:

  22. eawmp1 macrumors 601


    Feb 19, 2008
    Dumped by your roomate and your main squeeze...ouch.

    Talking to your roomate before college is like online dating...reality is often different. As for yor girl, college is a time one finds out who he/she is. Flings, one night stands, and dumping/being dumped is part of the landscape.

    Don't take the above too seriously. Find out who you are and grow. Worry less about what others think you are.
  23. decafjava macrumors 68030


    Feb 7, 2011
    Or the guy (I was in an off-campus house one summer) in the room next door watching porn late at night, then dashing to the bathroom to take a bath late at night because in his words when I complained "hard to explain but I get dirty sometimes". :eek: Well my other house mates got a laugh. Was an interesting house.

    OP don't worry about yourself, or your looks you will meet a lot of great people who you will stay friends with-trust me.
  24. renewed macrumors 68040


    Mar 24, 2009
    Bemalte Blumen duften nicht.
    This. Absolutely focus on your needs. Sounds awesome that you joined those clubs and hopefully you can find some chill people to hang out with through those that share a common interest.

    My roommates were crazy. One always did experiments with computers (heat experiments, don't ask) so we got a good few fire alarms set off and one small explosion. Another one of them used to pay girls online in foreign countries to strip for him. He would set up shop in the living room and attach his computer to the big screen. Yeah try walking into that with a group of friends. My other roommate beat my door down one time thinking I had weed stashed somewhere. I didn't smoke in college nor have any possession of it ever.

    Just chalk it up to college and move on.
  25. yg17 macrumors G5


    Aug 1, 2004
    St. Louis, MO
    Oh, the worst was when he was sneaking a little wank while I was in the room asleep. Our rooms were about the size of jail cells, so 2 beds in the same room. Unbeknownst to him, I wasn't fully asleep, I was tossing and turning and opened my eyes for a second, and I saw him slapping it around to porn. Not that I have anything against doing that, but please for the love of all things holy, don't do it when I'm in the room!

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