Red Flags:
- He claims there was a tragic life event and you respond with gifts. He barely, if at all, acknowledges the gifts.
- He doesn't want to see you constantly or even on a weekly/monthly basis.
- He is seemingly close and yet won't make time to see you again.
Just need to correct you on the first one. It wasnt a death of a best friend, but the end of their relationship. They were best friends since they were kids. Sorry, I just worded it wrong.
He has clearly noticed you are willing to do just about anything for him and I imagine your texts support this theory and he will take advantage of that. He has seen you twice in 10 months? In all truth, there are three possible answers here; he is married, he has a girlfriend, or he absolutely is not into you but you're willing to shell out cash to buy him things and his attendance in the douche canoe will allow him to take without regard for you.
Yes we've seen each other twice in 10 months now.
He has you in his pocket, there's no need for him to exert any effort to see you because you willingly hang on and he knows you will. You control how long this goes. You're an adult, walk away. I assure you, most people in life have no problems turning their back on actual friends or loved ones, this guy is neither. Woman up and walk away. Find another dude to text, there has to be some willing to text you...unless you get nutty on them early on.
This is my plan. I havent talked or contacted him in 2 days now and Im sure he will message me in the next day or so saying something along the lines of "what you dont like me no more" like he did last time. Hes a smart guy, I know he will eventually get the hint that Ive lost interest in our texting relationship. But when I tell him the truth that I just feel we arent going anywhere with this in terms of a dating relationship and meeting up twice in 10 months is a big sign of it, I dont think he will take it too kindly. I know exactly what hes going to say "what?....you didnt put that much effort into making this work.....you showed me no signs of you being interested in me" blah blah blah. I know this is how he will react. If you read our convos in how we talk from day to day, you will immediately notice that its not one of a dating relationship, but more of penpals. EVen that is scretching it, because for the fact that its all a one way convo. Im pretty much talking to myself and all i get back is one word answers.
But also, the fact Ive put in so much (and way too much if you ask me) effort in just trying to take this texting relationship to a more personal level by making plans for us to actual see one another in person is the biggest sign. Im spent, Im exhausted from all my efforts cause its gotten me no where. Just from us talking, I just dont feel acknowledged. Like I said earlier, I ask how hes doing, I ask what hes doing this weekend, and he never ever returns the questions back.
Me: What are your plans Friday?
Him: Umm nothing. (doesnt even ask "why" or "how about you" or "wanna do something?"
Me: Lets do something, lets meet up.
Hm: I might go see my grandma actually. (doesnt even ask "i could do something after i see my grandma though" or "how about another day")
Every single time its like this, the same song and dance. Like I said, he knows what i want and hes known it for god knows how many months now but he clearly avoids it. I understand that people are busy, some much busier and it is harder for them to make plans and find time. But no matter how busy you are, if you really are interested in someone you will find and make time for that person.
I just cant stand when he goes on "when it gets nicer, we will have to go hiking....you need to show me more about blah blah blah"....he talks and I fall for it. Hes been saying this to me for months now. Its almost like hes making the winter weather an excuse for not meeting up with me. Well guess what, Spring here is next month and in the past month its been pretty nice out.
