Last time I used an iPhone in the rain it like temporarily shorted out the headphone jack and it wouldn't play any sounds thru the speaker until it dried out. So YMMV.
While I truly value your opinion, I also do tech product testing as part of my job. This is the case I tested: http://www.lifeproof.com/shop/us_en/iphone-6-cases/iphone-6-case-nuud/?color=Black+/+Black+/+SmokeThe Lifeproof case barely adds size and it weighs nothing. I'm not sure if you've actually owned one or not because it sounds like you haven't. I've had a Lifeproof case for my last two phones and the abuse the last one took was beyond what most people's cases will ever see.
While I truly value your opinion, I also do tech product testing as part of my job. This is the case I tested: http://www.lifeproof.com/shop/us_en/iphone-6-cases/iphone-6-case-nuud/?color=Black+/+Black+/+Smoke
Compare that case to the HZO process and there is a fairly significant difference there. My current case is by Apple: http://store.apple.com/us/product/MGQF2ZM/A/iphone-6-silicone-case-black
Again, significantly less heft.
I should not have used the words crappy behemoth in describing the lifeproof cases. I understand some people really like them. I prefer something a little more nano sized for protection.