Do you want/have children?

[CalBoy]

I suppose that this has been done before here at MR, but I want a more up-to-date sampling.

I've been thinking a lot about this topic since I had been teaching 5th and 6th graders this summer, and I was curious to see what parents/prospective parents have to share on the topic of children.

I've decided I do want children (at least for now), and even though I still have a while to go before I need to worry about this, I wanted to see what advice people had to share, especially the gay male community.

Personal anecdotes are especially appreciated.

 

[Lord Blackadder]

It's low on the priority list right now, but I've always considered it a major life goal after establishing my career and getting married. First things first.

 

[CalBoy]

It's low on the priority list right, now, but I've always considered it a major life goal after establishing my career and getting married. First things first.

Which brings me to another side question I had: would you want to be married first, or at some point would you decide to adopt and raise on your own?

 

[Lord Blackadder]

Which brings me to another side question I had: would you want to be married first, or at some point would you decide to adopt and raise on your own?

I respect people who choose to adopt, but I plan to marry and have my own children. Sheesh, now you've got me thinking about it! I have to admit I can't imagine it just yet.

 

[RITZFit]

I want kids but no time soon.

 

[Jaffa Cake]

We've just the one and - lovely though she is - we're sticking with one.

 

[Mikey-]

I want kids. I know I'm only young but I'd love to start my own family but not at my age now, when I'm older.

 

[Schtumple]

I have a general dislike for children, I find it very difficult to deal with them, especially the loud, shouting, screaming ones, which is about 90% of kids these days...

 

[Ntombi]

I've always wanted children, but now that I'm in my thirties and still not ready, I'm wondering whether I'm ever going to be ready to not be selfish. I have no patience for bad parenting, so it's all or nothing for me.

I'm not married either, and I would prefer to have an involved co-parent, but it's not an absolute deal-breaker. Right now, it's that I'm not ready to not come home to a quiet house, not cook for days on end, etc.

I have babysat since I was 9, and I'm a VERY involved friend/big sister/aunt to all of my friends' kids, so I have kids whom I adore in my life on a regular basis. Maybe that's helping me not have to have them right now. But at some point, the die will have been cast.

As for adoption vs. birth, I've always wanted to do both.

 

[0098386]

I most certainly want to have kids but only when we're financially stable. I'm 22 now and we're planning on waiting till we're about 30 before having kids. Possibly.
My folks were married at 19 and I popped along when they were 30 (first child) and it seemed to work just fine for them. Time for saving, time for fun and all that.

 

[CalBoy]

I respect people who choose to adopt, but I plan to marry and have my own children.

Thanks to medical science, this is now possible for gay couples too, which makes it very tempting.

The only trouble is, it costs a lot of money (I believe $50k for one go).

Sheesh, now you've got me thinking about it! I have to admit I can't imagine it just yet.

Ooops, sorry.

But at least now you can be honest when a woman asks you if you've thought about it.

We've just the one and - lovely though she is - we're sticking with one.

But Jaffa, she's absolutely gorgeous!

You OWE the world another one!

I have a general dislike for children, I find it very difficult to deal with them, especially the loud, shouting, screaming ones, which is about 90% of kids these days...

I think it takes a lot of courage and honesty to admit that you're not a kid person, which is perfectly fine. I think you should be proud of yourself for being this perceptive, because many people are not and then have kids that they don't really care to have.

 

[revenuee]

I said

Straight man - DO NOT want kids

that MAY change -- I love dating -- but I get uneasy when the two C words are used by my dates.

 

[iGary]

Gay man, no desire. I just don't like kids.

My sister's made up for it. I have 20 nieces and nephews.

I think a batter question is if you do want kids - why?

 

[redwarrior]

I have two, 16 and 6. I would not have done it any other way.

There are things about this life as well as feelings that I believe one must have children to experience. I, of course, respect those who do not want children, but I think that our live's effectiveness and experiences are greatly diminished without them.

In general I have never enjoyed children. I never wanted to be around them and found it hard to communicate with them. When I had my oldest I did it to try to fix a broken marriage and actually regretted it at first. But by the time my daughter was 2, I had learned to enjoy her. Now I am just so glad that I have my children. I still stay away from other children if I can at all help it!

It is possible to raise happy healthy children alone, people do it all the time, but it is definitely easier with a partner. I raised my daughter alone as a single parent until she was 6, but my parents took a very active role in her life.

 

[scotty96LSC]

I've got two teenagers and a 26 year old. Anyone want them????
No really they are good kids for the most part, but I'm glad I'm done with that part of my life.

 

[Gray-Wolf]

Single, never had any, and too old to start now.

 

[Jaffa Cake]

But Jaffa, she's absolutely gorgeous!

You OWE the world another one!

Why thank you. She gets her good looks from her dad, you know.

She's a lovely child and we've had no problems at all with her, but we realise that we've probably been a bit lucky in this regard. We're not looking to push that luck with a second, plus there are other considerations such as finances and stuff. Add in the fact that Miss Jaffa Cake wasn't too impressed with the whole being pregnant thing, and that it was quite a difficult birth, and we're more than content and thankful for what we have.

 

[ZiggyPastorius]

I'm still really young yet, but, I think I want to have one child. It's definitely a ways off, as I want to be out of college and financially stable first, but I do want to have one...*crosses fingers for a daughter*

 

[Chappers]

I have a general dislike for children, I find it very difficult to deal with them, especially the loud, shouting, screaming ones, which is about 90% of kids these days...

I confess that was me too. But then one day my son arrived and yes my world is upside down but when other kids scream and shout I feel a certain level of patience that I never thought I would feel.

I think the thing really that gets me is when he is ill (proper ill - not just a cold) - nothing can prepare you for that gut wrenching feeling.

But when he calls me dad and runs to greet me - well it makes it all worth the main artery bleed on our bank account.

 

[GSMiller]

Just remember that children are pretty much a lifetime responsibility, no matter how old they get

 

[Prof.]

No kids for this homo.

 

[skunk]

I was presented with two children thirty two years ago, aged two and three. They came as part of a package. They have been a pain and a delight in equal parts, sometimes simultaneously, but I wouldn't trade the experience for anything.

 

[xUKHCx]

Straight male here and want to have children. I have even discussed it with my gf and we both agree we want children but not just yet. Have to get a job, a house and some life/financial stability first. I guess by the age of 28 it'll probably be up for consideration but life is funny some times.

If I found out that we could not have children for some reason I would definitely want to adopt a child

 

[iJohnHenry]

No kids here either. A conscious choice.

Separated now, but they would have been up and out now.

Now I have to love kids from afar. And I do, for they are essentially pure, not yet corrupted by society.

 

[dllavaneras]

I'm only 23, so having kids is not high on my priority list. I want to wait a few years until I have a steady job and my own place, at the very least. That said, I'd love to have kids! While all of my friends say their dream car is one of those super fast sports cars, a tuner's dream or a big SUV, my dream car has always been a van. I have been picturing myself driving my kid(s) and their friends to soccer practice for a few years now. So yeah, I most definitely want kids!

BTW, it's too early to tell, but it surprises me that straight males seem to want/have kids the most. For some reason I thought that it would be the ladies that want kids (probably because that's how most of the people I know think)