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Embarassing medical problem

I'm perfectly fine in public, until I have to go pee.

Thanks for the support, I think I am going to tell them when I get the chance when my brothers aren't home.
 
TSE said:
I'm perfectly fine in public, until I have to go pee.

Thanks for the support, I think I am going to tell them when I get the chance when my brothers aren't home.
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well, in my experience (had the problem myself for a while between ~12 and ~20 but could for the most part fix it when I was ~17) about 10% of people are affected by this. so you're perfectly normal.

best way to treat it for me was going to pee in restrooms of shopping malls. the restrooms are large and nowbody knows you. so you simply don't give a sh&% about who is there and you're five stalls away from the next person anyway. and nobody is waiting for you to finish. after a while you get used to have people in the restroom and you build up confidence.

when you have to tell people that you can't pee then be agressive about it. don't say you're shy. tell them outright you hate it when somebody looks at your best parts and that you like and deserve your privacy. that makes you look a bit arrogant but certainly not like a loser. worked for me and I made it through army service without problems.
 
TSE said:
I was so ****ing close to telling my mom in the car, but I just couldn't. :(
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I understand you're fears about telling people about your anxieties. I suffer from generalized anxiety and I know its not an easy thing to talk about. Do you have a trusted friend that you can talk to first? Sometimes I feel talking to a friend before talking to a family member about something is helpful, I dunno if that would help you at all.
 
I really don't think so. I am very self-conscience as a whole.

Is there anyway I could tell someone without making it sound like an embarrassing problem?
 
Yeah, I started reading through this thread and expected to hear the OP say he has some horrible or extraordinarily rare disorder. (I'm not making light, BTW.)

I think this problem affects more people than you might think. I've known several people who had it and who talked about it openly. I know it's easy for us to say, but there are much, much more embarrassing things to have to tell your parents or a doctor.

Trust me, this is a common issue that affects many people. Unfortunately, being an engineer and not a doctor, I don't know of a cure :(
 
I think you just need to tell your parents that you need to speak to your doctor. Then when you're alone with your doctor explain your situation. He can give you better advice than anyone on the forums can, and even if he doesn't keep your condition secret, at least he will be a professional explaining the situation to your parents.

The reason I say this is because I once had an embarrassing situation when Iw as a teenager and finally got the courage to speak to my doctor about it and he was able to guide me in the right direction.
 
Exegesis48 said:
I think you just need to tell your parents that you need to speak to your doctor. Then when you're alone with your doctor explain your situation. He can give you better advice than anyone on the forums can, and even if he doesn't keep your condition secret, at least he will be a professional explaining the situation to your parents.

The reason I say this is because I once had an embarrassing situation when Iw as a teenager and finally got the courage to speak to my doctor about it and he was able to guide me in the right direction.
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That's a good idea!
 
How I've dealt with anxiety, when needing to say something to someone that I really didn't want to, is by just saying it and before my mind starts to think about what they'll think/say, etc. Don't think about it! Just do it! I know that sounds incredibly easy but that's the only way that I've been able to get things out when my body didn't want me to. "The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." - so true.

Also, I have this problem still. I've figured out how to get over it but at times my body just doesn't want to let go. The trick is to figure out how to get your body to relax, and more importantly your groin. I'm sure that differs for everyone but think about it next time your going to the bathroom in your house. How do you relax to start going? (rhetorical).

Also, I've noticed a lot of other people will flush the toilet to deaden the sound of peeing to help them go. I work at Target and I'd say that about 50% of the people flush before going. That may help you.
 
QuarterSwede said:
Also, I've noticed a lot of other people will flush the toilet to deaden the sound of peeing to help them go. I work at Target and I'd say that about 50% of the people flush before going. That may help you.
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that has probably to do with the fact that about 50% of the people do not flush after going.

for the OP, don't be embarassed, i've heard it from several people, kids especially, for #1 or #2.
work on it gradually and you should be able to solve the issue. if there is a public washroom that is clean, mostly deserted and where you are comfortable visiting, just go there with a book, sit down and try to relax.
and in any case i think talking to your parents is a valuable option.
 
hey its normal to be kinda nervous when peeing. i have a hard time doing it too and so does my dad.;)

i havnt been able to go pee for many hours of needing too.

sometimes if i cant pee. [embarrassing thing] go in the shower. the heat helps and its just relaxing.[/embarrassment]
 
Nothing to be embarassed about!

I'm sure everyone here has something about them that is embarassing...there is no shame into looking into your problem...

hell I still stutter some...done it since I was just little. Talk about embarassing. But over the years I've learned to deal with it and come to terms with it.

I wish you luck. . .I hope you get better. :)
 
As far as embarassing goes, you're pretty on the OK side, at least it's not like you have spontanious orgasms in public... that'd be awkward
 
TSE said:
Ok I have a really bad and embarassing medical problem. It has been effecting me since I was about 9. It isn't really a physical problem but more of a mental one, an anxiety problem I think. Is there anyone I can go to for free without my parents or anyone knowing?
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Maybe have a look around this site The Linden Method I bought some very helpful CD's from them about 4 years ago, and listened to them all through, and never had one since.

There're also some more videos Here

I hope it may help you, good luck...
 
You could have worse. When I was 17 I broke my penis during sex. Yes, I broke it. (sprained a muscle and damaged the frenulum) And had to go to a doctor about that. Try explaining that one to your parents! That was one embarrassing conversation, but they were extremely understanding. :)
 
TBE - I used to be have the same problem you describe. Granted, not to that same extent but it was somewhat embarrassing.

There is hope; If you work with it you'll see progress. Some days may be better than others.

I don't mean to sound weird, but is it being naked in front of others altogether or just peeing at the urinal? I ask that because for me once I got used to changing and whatnot in the lockers/showers/etc it improved.

-Ryan- said:
When I was 17 I broke my penis during sex. Yes, I broke it. (sprained a muscle and damaged the frenulum)
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Ouch. That is all.
 
TSE said:
Ok, I suffer from a condition where I can't pee in public restrooms when people are present or even sometimes I freak myself out so much that I can't go even when people aren't present.

I know this sounds stupid but I was bullied when I was 9 whenever I was in the bathroom by older kids and I just trained myself to never go in public restrooms. I have kept this a secret for my whole life.
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why dont you try drinking a lot of water when in public and then go to a public toilet when you are really busting? im sure you will go then.
 
richthomas said:
why dont you try drinking a lot of water when in public and then go to a public toilet when you are really busting? im sure you will go then.
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That way disaster lies.

Best to get it sorted in your head.
It is not a physical condition, so trying to bully your poor "shy bladder" into submission is not the way to go.

Good luck.
 
Let me start by giving you full disclosure in that I am a professional counselor/therapist.

One of the key questions in dealing with any anxiety or behavioral situation is to assess how the "problem" affects or hinders your normal functioning. In other words, is this really a problem or is it just a strange characteristic about me that does not overall negatively affect me. Can you give me some more information about your specific situation?

For example, do you obsess about this regularly and does it make it difficult for you to get through your daily routine because it's always "on your mind" or is this just something you wish was different, but you don't ever really think about it until you find yourself in public and you "need to go"? What is the experience of being in public and "needing to go" like for you? Do you just put it off and tell yourself "I'll go later" or are there physiological responses like breaking out in a sweat, becoming jumpy/irritated, or losing the ability to concentrate/focus. Determining how this affects your functioning is a way of assessing the severity of the "problem" and will help indicate what level of help, professional or not, that you need.

And, as was stated earlier, in every situation you must rule out that this is not a physical or medical condition. Are you able to use the bathroom normally at home without any difficulty?

Sorry to keep going, but you also mentioned that you were the victim of teasing/bullying at a younger age and that these experiences often occurred in the restroom. It is possible that you are experiencing a cognitive distortion in that you have paired the emotions associated with past trauma to a routine life activity. If this is the case or if the bullying was in actuality abuse, then professional help would be extremely beneficial in helping you overcome this.

No matter what, suck it up and tell your parents. :D I don't know your family relationships, but I would hope that if you approach them from the perspective of "I need your help with something" that they will lovingly respond in any way they can to support you.

Let me know if there is anything else I can do to help or if you have any other questions. Be positive, you can do this.
 
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