Embarrassing mens room moment

[blueroom]

Cannot top this story.
http://thewvsr.com/ryans.htm

 

[SuperCachetes]

Dude, there's more fecal matter on the money in your pocket than on anyone's phone.

I don't hold money up to my mouth, either.

 

[rdowns]

I don't hold money up to my mouth, either.

You don't hold a cell phone to your mouth, you hold it to your ear.

 

[rhett7660]

Whenever I hear someone talking on their cell phone in the office restroom, I fart as loudly as possible and start laughing.

ROFL.... that was you huh! LOL....

The RDowns story still gets me laughing to this day. I have read that piece quite a few times. I have even sent it to a couple people I know. That is a great piece of writing lol....

"The gravity of the situation"... still makes me laugh.

 

[SuperCachetes]

You don't hold a cell phone to your mouth, you hold it to your ear.

Crap. Now you tell me. So maybe my iPhones haven't been dropping calls all these years after all...

Back on topic, I did drop my car keys in a truck stop toilet in the middle of nowhere once. it wasn't quite Trainspotting-level gnarly, but close. Nothing like rolling up your sleeve and thrusting your fist into the abyss.

 

[rdowns]

ROFL.... that was you huh! LOL....

The RDowns story still gets me laughing to this day. I have read that piece quite a few times. I have even sent it to a couple people I know. That is a great piece of writing lol....

"The gravity of the situation"... still makes me laugh.

Just to be clear, I didn't write it. It's something I got off a usenet newsgroup in the 90s.

 

[pivo6]

I thought this thread was going to be about meeting Larry Craig in an airport bathroom. oh well.

 

[rhett7660]

Just to be clear, I didn't write it. It's something I got off a usenet newsgroup in the 90s.

Oh man........ oh well, it is still freaking funny! LOL.........

 

[dime21]

My public restroom rules:
1. Wash hands before and after.
2. 1 unused stall between me and the next used stall.
3. Absolutely no talking, at all, ever.

Don't forget 4. No tapping of toes.

 

[vincenz]

Hilarious

 

[eternlgladiator]

I was trying so hard not to burst out laughing at my office. It reminded me of this one. A little different but still funny. From best of craigslist.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/wdc/949686666.html

 

[Surely]

How do I put this...THE most touched object in a public bathroom is the door handles...You really gonna touch that, and then touch your junk right after? You don't know how many sick, diseased people might have come and gone...

That's why I never touch the door handles on the way in or on the way out.

 

[joepunk]

I'm always miffed at toilet stall doors that open inward. You know, the kind where you have to back up right next to the toilet in order to get the door to open fully and get out.

 

[InsanelyApple]

For those women who may be reading this, let me take a moment to explain "The Move." Men know exactly what their bowels are up to at any given second. And when the time comes to empty the cache, a sequence of physiological events occur that can not be stopped under any circumstances. There is a move men make that involves simultaneously approaching the toilet, beginning the body turn to
position ones ass toward said toilet, hooking ones fingers into ones waistline, and pulling down the pants while beginning the squat at the same time. It is a very fluid motion that, when performed properly, results in the flawless expulsion of **** at the exact same second that ones ass is properly placed on the toilet seat. Done properly, it even
assures that the choad is properly inserted into the front rim of the toilet in the event that the piss stream lets loose at the same time; it is truly a picture of coordination rivaling that of a ballet dancer.

Wow, never gave that much thought, but that is exactly what I do.

 

[Apple OC]

Sometimes I feel like a character in the Larry David show, I swear.

I was visiting one of our accounts yesterday and stopped to use the mens room. I'm in front of the urinal assuming I'm alone in the room. But from behind a closed stall door someone says, "So, how's it going". I'm thinking he might be able to see through the crack in the door and might be one of the staff that I know, so I respond, "Uh, Not bad." Still, this is really weird.

10 seconds pass and the gentleman then says, "What's going on?" Not wanting to be rude in case I know this guy, I respond, "Not too much." The stranger then says to me, "Dude, I'm on my cellphone."

Great post ... would work in Stand-up

 

[jav6454]

I would always flush. Toilets were way loud in my old office building.

Pressure toilets are best, loudest sound when flushing

 

[notjustjay]

Wow, my experiences are nothing quite that bad, but one recent incident stands out. I was at a Wal-Mart. I entered the washroom and was surprised to when an elderly lady turned and angrily said "I think you've got the wrong washroom, young man!" I was stunned for a moment and thought perhaps I'd just made an awful blunder until I looked over to the wall and saw the line of urinals.

So I pointed to them and said "No ma'am, I think I'm in the right place. Unless you know how to use one of those..."

She high-tailed it out of there. That's when I remembered that as I was walking in, I saw an elderly man watching the washroom door with a huge grin on his face! What a husband he must've been!