Today, I was at a bar with a friend. A guy came up to me, took my drink and drank it. I laughed and jokingly said "now, you have to buy me a drink." He said "I would rather buy your friend a drink." FML
HA!
Today, I was at a bar with a friend. A guy came up to me, took my drink and drank it. I laughed and jokingly said "now, you have to buy me a drink." He said "I would rather buy your friend a drink." FML
Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML![]()
Today, I introduced myself to the Pakistani group I joined at my school by saying my name was Jahan. They all laughed. Apparently my name is slang for FATASS. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, I found out who'd been smoking MY weed in MY room. It wasn't my little brother. It was my parents. FML
Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML
Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML